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Original poster

Divorce

25 replies

Julie1234566 · 22/04/2022 21:18

So, now after 6 years of mental abuse with him I asked my husband to leave. My house is in my sole name but my dad and I bought it with me from the sale of our houses so I could look after him. Well now my ex has offered that it's 50/50 on the sale. He has paid nothing, no mortgage, no bills just gave me £40 a week for food.
Surely the courts won't let him win? . Me and dad put 550,000 into it and as its now worth 1.750,000 the ex is getting 882,000 of my children's inheritance. I am suffering a mental breakdown here and my dad , aged 85 is so stressed. It's so unfair. Any advice be much appreciated.

OP posts:

Keepingthingsinteresting · 22/04/2022 21:24

Get some legal advice, but the starting point on a long marriage is 50/50. You should have protected the house when you bought it by using joint names with your dad, at least his part would have been ring fenced

TracyMosby · 22/04/2022 21:26

Speak to a good solicitor. Then a second.
are the children his?

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 23/04/2022 10:03

The children are mine from first marriage. Am with a lawyer already, the decree nisi came through in Feb. Surely six years of marriage and paying nothing towards the house counts as something. He says he renovated it full time but that's a lie as we have notes on all the builders, what they done and how much was spent by me and my father.

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TracyMosby · 23/04/2022 10:50

Gather all the evidence. Bank statements. Invoices. Does he have children? How old is he?

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 23/04/2022 19:19

I have all the evidence. Yes he has a son from previous marriage. When I thowed him out, he already had filed for divorce whilst still sleeping in my bed. Two weeks later, transferred £70,000 to his sons account . His 59. saying it was a deposit for his sons house. Two weeks after that was on a dating website!!. Stalking me, harrased me begging to come back and had to block him on social media. Got all the cctv. His been cautioned. Its a nightmare. My poor dad.

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Theunamedcat · 23/04/2022 19:21

Did you protect your dad's contribution? I'm assuming not?

Theunamedcat · 23/04/2022 19:22

Does your dad live with you?

MrsBertBibby · 23/04/2022 19:39

Did you or your dad get legal advice before you bought this house?

How long have you been married? Did you and H cohabit before marriage? If so, for how long ?

justchecking1 · 23/04/2022 20:23

Does your dad have his name on the mortgage? Or an interest in the house? Did he give you the money as a gift or as an investment?

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 23/04/2022 21:32

No we didn't protect dad's contribution. There is no mortgage. It wasn't a gift. It was so I could care for him on his old age...I was married for 6 years and cohabiting for one year.

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justchecking1 · 24/04/2022 13:38

If you have historical emails/agreements on writing that the contribution was to look after your dad, rather than as a gift to you, you might be able to get a really good lawyer to make a case of that. I suspect you'll still lose a significant sum to exDH though

MrsBertBibby · 27/04/2022 12:01

Well that might be enough to found a claim by your dad that he has an interest in the property, but he needs separate legal advice from you on that issue.

A 7 year marriage (the Court will include the cohabitation) is certainly not a long marriage, and if the children are still kids, then arguments on need and contribution both work in your favour. I wouldn't automatically assume an equal split, even after a chunk is ring-fence for your dad.

If you were my client, I'd be getting Counsel's advice early doors.

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 11/05/2022 17:39

Hi everyone who has acknowledge my posts. We are now going to court, though I think his bluffing. I have now had texts messages from a woman claiming he has been in her bed for 20 years on and off. I've told my lawyer. So surely the matrimonial home cannot be classed as that and he cannot get anything if this goes to court. Thank you.

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Theunamedcat · 12/05/2022 07:33

Be prepared for him to get something

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 02/06/2022 20:55

So a marriage dominated by mental abuse, violence etc goes to court on Wed. He paid zero towards all the renovations, bills, housekeeping etc even the wedding I paid for and the holidays but comes out after two years with 50/50. This is so wrong. I would rather die than give him £875,000 for6 years of marriage. He was a con man. To take my dad's money as well as mine. There is no justice here. I am broken. Truly broken.

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Original poster

Julie1234566 · 02/06/2022 21:17

So now, after 30 years of being a family of three generations, we must sell the house. My 3 adult children must fend for themselves. They earn 300 a week and flats in jersey are around 400 a week. My dad has to go in a home as the ex wants his money that he earned after 83 years on this planet. The law must be changed. U can't walk into a Marriage, pay nothing and walk away with half my dad's and mine. If I died tomorrow then I wonder what would happen, maybe for the best for my family

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SuspiciousBanana · 02/06/2022 23:01

I’m really sorry things have not turned out as you had hoped. Is there any way you can appeal? It is so unfair. Most of the time the law protects women in a financially vulnerable position, when the husband has been the “provider”. But then sometimes it totally screws people over.

please stay strong. It’s tough now but you will get through this.

Testina · 02/06/2022 23:15

But it hasn’t gone to court yet, has it?
Next Wednesday you mean?
The timing in Jersey is much faster than the U.K!

What has your lawyer said to expect?

What assets does he have? (to offset - your claim on his)

Why do all 3 of your adult children only earn £300 a week? They can rent together.

You put in £550K but 50% is over £800K so you can still afford a home - although I’m a bit lost as it was already in your family for 3 generations… was that money you put in for building work then?

Anyway, that’s by the by.

It sounds like this hasn’t happened yet.

have you got proper legal representation?
if not, get onto that on Monday and find out if there’s any legal way you can stall the hearing

Testina · 02/06/2022 23:16

Ah sorry, you didn’t mean the house was owned for 3 generations, but that 3 generations of you were living there.

Has he really got no assets involved in this?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/06/2022 23:17

Just because you already have a solicitor doesn't mean you don't need a better one. If they are not handling the situation, you need to go elsewhere.

DenholmElliot1 · 02/06/2022 23:21

"He was a con man."

Yes, he is. There are thousands of men like him scouring the dating websites looking for potential victims. Did you meet him via a dating website initially? Did he not have any money of his own when you married him?

Testina · 02/06/2022 23:25

Jersey law. Similar to U.K. law - there is no 50/50 rule and what you brought into the marriage can be considered.

Again, what has your lawyer said?

I don’t doubt he’s going to come wear with something, but why are you so sure it’s 50%?

Testina · 03/06/2022 08:25

So looking back you have 2 other threads on this from a month ago… and you had engaged a solicitor then.

What are they saying?

About the likely decision a court would make in split?
On the possibility of your dad claiming a beneficial interest as he bought with you not as a gift but in the expectation of housing?
On the possibility of claiming the £70K taken (presumably your money from a joint account that you gave him access to) after filing for divorce should be counted back into marital assets?

Most importantly, you don’t go into a court hearing just to sit bank whilst the judge makes a split with no representation. What have you and your solicitor decided to go into the hearing with, as a proposed settlement?

Original poster

Julie1234566 · 23/06/2022 21:01

So after spending 40 grand already, we went to a round meeting . What a waste of time. I offered 200k in the end but was rejected.
I now have no savings left because I spent it all on lawyers. I now have to attend a FDR NEXT WEDNESDAY. This won't show my father put half, nor the abuse or stalking. I can't sell without his permission. I have offered 270k as he has 70k he hid which buys him a one bedroom flat. I don't think he will accept as wants 600k..he has paid zero towards my house but apparently has 10 witnesses to prove he worked full time even though he is recovering from a brain haemorrhage and a serious back problem. So why did I employ all these tradesmen and spent 170k. So now I have to sell. My father will have to go in a home and my 3 children will be go the streets as they cannot afford to buy in jersey on their income
He has won . That's all he wanted, was to destroy my family which he was jealous about our bond. I think it's called Rock bottom

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Original poster

Julie1234566 · 02/07/2022 16:56

So I thought I would let you all know it was settled at a FDR last week. I couldn't put my dad and family , and me, through anymore.The judge indicated that he would get 400k to 500k. So we tried to negotiate. It was the worse day of my life. We agreed on 480k. I managed to ring fence dads money. He wore his wedding ring and jeans to court. He then demanded furniture and the wedding photos. So I thank everyone for all their kind words and now it's time to move on with my life. God bless you all.

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