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Original poster

Am I being unfair here . Family member and selling items

24 replies

Watfo · 22/04/2022 03:09

So back story my grand parents and aunt were hoarders grandparents now passed away and aunt lives in the house amongst all the stuff! Shes now clearing out and don't get me wrong she definitely is making progress she has given stuff away for free, taken stuff to the tip , and trying to sell stuff(well I am her seller because she won't do social media her self!)
Yesterday I went to visit for the day god the crap shes got has given me such a head ache as you can see 3am and im awake with thoughts. Anyway so she gets some cruising memorobillia out she then has to see what they sell on ebay as(not sold for prices!) She then gives me prices but sone of this stuff my nan has actually nicked flipping pens and matches and napkins, just why!!!!! She wants £3 a pen bare in mind they have no ink she's got about 20 of these pens. Matches about 10 of them at £3 each (I won't be selling them because of the postage laws) napkins about 40! At £4 each its ridiculous and im getting sick of it. Ive taken pictures brought it home but I am just not willing to do it. The stuff they have paid for on the cruise ive listed and has already sold. But am I aibu?

I and other family members have tried to nicely say you shouldn't sell these and that some of the stuff has no value but she doesn't listen!! I have sold a lot over the last few years for her they've always been hoarders but its just getting ridiculously shes bringing out some utter rubbish huge books on football or origami or something for like a fiver.
She will purposely buy more stuff to sell it on . Theyve brought clothes for the kids in the past for 10p and will then sell it for more. Is it just this generation of age she was born in 1960.

Taking pictures, advertising ,messaging collection or postage takes time. I don't know I just find it very hard at times. What's your thoughts???

OP posts:
Gymnopedie · 22/04/2022 03:22

Not being unfair at all. It was bad enough before you got to the bit about her also buying stuff to sell on. You have no obligation to give up your time like this. (What's she doing with the proceeds? Keeping it to herself?)

Can you say you're not doing this any more and suggest that if she thinks it's worth selling she should set up her own FB page or whatever. She's younger than me so she should be able to master the technology.

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/04/2022 04:09

Just tell her to sell it herself.

sjxoxo · 22/04/2022 04:41

She sounds like a character! Definitely say you can’t sell anything for her unless it’s for a sold value of over £20 for example. Already you are being very kind! You could suggest she does some jumble sales/car boots if she thinks those things will sell- tell her it’s to difficult to post! After a few 5am starts and a load of people offering her 3p for a stolen pen she might change her mind a bit 😂

SScoobiedoo · 22/04/2022 05:03

Maybe going with her once to a car boot sale (where most of the stuff won't sell) will be enough to either teach her she's wasting her time or show her how to do it so she can sell it herself in future.

SmugOldBag · 22/04/2022 05:23

Don't list it and tell her it didn't sell?

I used to eBay a lot and it takes up so much time. No way I'd be doing that without turning a profit!

SquirrelG · 22/04/2022 05:43

I think you need to tell her you just don't have time to do all the selling on her behalf. I would suggest she has a garage sale (you probably call them something else in the UK) and try to get rid of it that way. People who don't sell online have no idea of the time it takes.

PermanentTemporary · 22/04/2022 06:23

I wish we had garage/yard sales but they're not very common here, I've only been to one and it wasn't a British family. Car boot sale is more likely.

I agree, just say unfortunately you'll have to stop because of lack of time. Getting into an argument about how ridiculous this is will probably cause a huge falling out.

carefullycourageous · 22/04/2022 06:31

What your aunt wants to do - sell things - is up to her. You can say you don't have time to help.

Just stop doing it. If they want to try and sell it that is not your problem.

You will not get a hoarder to change, so all you can do is back away and have boundaries.

2catsandhappy · 22/04/2022 06:40

You and family have tried nice and polite. Try firm rejection while holding a black bag. Tell her straight, you will spend 20 minutes a week on Ebay and you are only selling anything £xx or more. Repeat like a broken record. She can argue or fret but she cannot physicaly bend your back to do it. Tough love need here.

apricotlane · 22/04/2022 07:14

Do not. Enable this. It is kinder to be extremely firm. You simply don't have the time for piffling items. She's obviously doesn't understand how ebay works. I agree that you shouldn't take anything that won't be worth over £20.

Hoarders see rubbish completely differently and are convinced it has value.

Wentyworthy · 22/04/2022 07:28

do a car boot sale! But don’t take her or she will buy more crap to bring home. Keep 70% of the profits, she will never know 😏

Limoux · 22/04/2022 07:39

Are you sure they wont sell? I have sold airline pens from the 1980s for £10 each

Original poster
Watfo · 22/04/2022 08:04

Thanks for all comments. The money raised is being split between her and other sibling and then some is going to charity as well from my understanding of it all.
Weve suggested boot sales numerous times and she said she will do it when the weather is better but now the weather is better she says she can't do it and renovate her house up(which there doing also -my parents and her) and she needs time to sort it(which in her case means research and price things up)
Literally everything is in boxes take a box and get it out. Ahhhh I don't know I finally managed to get some sleep but its just winding me right up

OP posts:
ButtockUp · 22/04/2022 08:39

It sounds like an onerous task to clear a hoarder's house but your aunt's mindset is very similar to hoarders that I've come across in real life and on tv:- "it might be worth something one day."
It sounds like she's fed up of the clutter but wants to recoup some money for all the years of hoarding.

I think you need to decide whether you want to be part of it or walk away.
If it's causing you to stay awake at night, then I'd walk away and leave her to it.

A house clearance company that auctions and gives you any profit minus costs might be your best bet here.

gamerchick · 22/04/2022 09:06

Tell her she needs to learn how to do it herself. Set up an account and show her the ropes. Then leave her to it

I'd be refusing point blank me.

lljkk · 22/04/2022 10:52

I've never made a profit at car boot sales, most ppl I know have only lost money at them. Anyway, if she's wanting to raise money for charity, then you could...

anything that would sell for >£6/profit on ebay -- flog this & you take 30% of net profit
Take anything that would sell for < £6/profit on ebay to charity shop (hopefully one she wants to help)
Things that can't be sold on ebay: try to give away (Facebook)
Things you can't give away -> bin

Threetulips · 22/04/2022 10:59

Can she not get an auction valuer round? They can take it all and sell it for her.

let them do the leg work.

SpacePotato · 22/04/2022 11:06

So you're doing all the work for free so others can benefit? That makes you a prize mug.

Time to say start saying no. Not your problem. She could get a house clearance company in if she so desperately wants it gone and house renovated.

pollyroo · 22/04/2022 15:11

Just say no.

I haven't got time.

End of.

DottedLines · 23/04/2022 05:17

Is it just this generation of age she was born in 1960.

Cheeky bugga!!! (or ageist??) (or ignorant)

61/62 is hardly old, and even if it was, plenty of those born 20 years earlier live in uncluttered homes.

Age has nothing to do with your core personality, worldview or organisational skills, use of social media or being able to estimate a selling price.

Perhaps just say No. It's liberating (you'll love being early 60s!!) and so much easier once you've left the naïveté behind.

Good luck with your really old and out of touch relictive 😊

starrynight21 · 23/04/2022 05:51

Is it just this generation of age she was born in 1960

You really think this ? Talk about making a generalisation ! I was born then and I'm a minimalist - all us boomers have our own personalities, just like everyone else.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 23/04/2022 06:43

she is too lazy to do a car boot sale by the sound of things

can you help her do a car boot sale?
otherwise, just limit your time/stop

cptartapp · 23/04/2022 06:52

Lump it all together as a job lot of car boot items on eBay and sell at £30-40 per lot. I've sold loads that way. People will pay to come and take it away!

Moochio · 23/04/2022 08:16

Is it just this generation of age she was born in 1960. sorry what?! You're so rude.

Just say no and she can sell it herself but you haven't got time.

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