Toddler in old-fashioned GP's home?

[toomanypigeons]

Toddler DS is 22 months and a very boisterous explorer. At home we have ways of managing this in our home and knowing suitable places to take him where he can be free to run wild and burn off energy.

We are due to visit his grandparents (my parents) who are elderly. Due to their health and mobility they are unable to come to us. My parents raised me and my sisters to be terrified of them so I don't believe we ever dared do anything remotely lively, let alone naughty when we were toddlers. I obviously don't raise my son that way, and he isn't naughty, just a normal curious toddler. But my parents view is that he should be able to sit still and play "nicely" at all times, at their home.

Their home is full of china ornaments, and their small garden immaculately planted with pots and garden ornaments. I'm dreading taking DS there. Some of the time will be spent at the table and he will be safely in the high chair, but what can I do the rest of the afternoon? The drive is 2 hrs or so and he'll have a lot of energy. After lunch tea in china cups will be served. Any toys i could bring to distract him? This doesn't usually work though as he loves to explore new places so will want to touch everything.

I obviously do say no to my son, but he's 22 months old and this isnt his own home where he is familiar with what's out of bounds.

I could say no to my parents but I feel duty bound for them to see him sometimes. They've not seen us since Xmas.

Can anyone relate?

Can you all go out somewhere like a national trust property with grounds to run around in? Or if it has to be at the house could GPS read him a story for a bit then you take him for a run around then another quiet activity.

You need to ask yourself why you are taking your 22 month old baby to visit people who want small children to be terrified of them. I get that you feel you need to see them occasionally but why inflict that on your poor defenceless son? Just go alone and if they ask why he’s not with you, tell them they wouldn’t enjoy the visit and not would you.

If you can’t do that you’re still afraid of them and that’s an even more compelling reason not to drag a toddler to their horrible house.

Can you get there early and take him to a park?
can you meet in a place where it’s more appropriate to run around?
by all means go to them for lunch and then suggest a walk round the local area? Go visit a local place nearby?
yoh have my sympathy - he’s very young, and it’s a hard age, my mum is also very old fashioned so she also expects everyone to sit round the table nicely with full China on every meal… we have come to an agreement of my daughter sits nicely to eat and then she’s excused.. she’s 10 😆
I know toddlers are bundles of energy, but sometimes they do sit nicely for other people after they had a good run, your toddler may surprise you by sitting nicely with grandma to read or colour
also your parents may surprise you - I know my DD can get away with murder around my MIL… with things my OH and his siblings would have never…

Can you take a playpen with toys? This is what we did at MIL’s house.

Cant you do a day out near them instead? Park followed by pub lunch, a national trust place or something along those lines. Failing that I’d visit alone.

can you get one new toy that you think will occupy him for a long time?

and the garden is probably a lot safer than the house for running etc. most plants can't actually be hurt by a toddler.

What’s the point of taking him there? . He’s an energetic toddler so he will be into everything but you’ll be stressed about it all, and your parents will be sitting there looking dismissively at every thing. And as @TheProvincialLady said, why would you want your child to be made purposely terrified of your parents? So who would actually benefit from this visit, in any way? Just zoom call them.

To be clear, my son would never be terrified of my parents,

A) because I protect him from them at all times, he's never been left alone with them, never would be, and I would quash any criticism of him or any behaviour that's unreasonable.

And

B) he's only met them 4 times in his life, so they have no influence. Plus he's the most confident whirlwind of a boy and larger than life character who doesn't give a stuff what they are like!

C) they've never tried to terrify him. I don't know if it's because I give off the message that I wont let them or if it's just because they reserved that for their own children.

my in-laws house is like this… we asked them to get a stairgate on in one room and clear the porcelain. Then the kids roamed in there when young with toys (and I would be quasi trapped in there) and were taken outside to let off steam! Still… a lot of food ended up on Persian carpets so I used to use a towel under the high chair too

He would never go in a pen!

Is there a park near your grandparents' house, so that he can go to their house for half an hour, then go somewhere else where he can run around safely?
Otherwise I would second buying a new toy, or possibly two or three, that will keep him entertained and occupied.

I just wouldn't meet them there. Tell them that they may expect your DS to sit quietly and not explore, but it's not actually going to happen so you'd prefer to meet them somewhere nearby where he can roam freely without breaking anything precious.