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Original poster

This is what happens when you give 2nd chances

19 replies

Romeerka · 21/04/2022 08:29

After catching my husband lying once again and cheating on me.

Pushed the wall, along with threateningly showing his teeth and punching the airx verbal abuse, stopping me physically from leaving the room, grabbing me aggressively and dragging me across the room and pushing me on the sofa to force me to talk after I repeatedly ask him to leave me alone and moving rooms to be far from him, while I'm crying while 36 weeks pregnant.
Snatched my phone away when I tried to call the police after he refused to let me go and became increasingly threatening.

A few days after a separate accident where he begged me not to tell the authorities and insisted he comes with me to my midwife appointment to make sure I didn't tell on him.

Calling me fucking crazy after I admitted to him I had suicidal thoughts.

Telling me I can't leave because it would be stealing his baby from him.

I have another appointment with my midwife today and hope he doesn't tag along. Really want to have a one on one conversation with her. I was told they can assist you in those situatons even though I'm not really sure.

This is what happens when you give 2nd chances
OP posts:
Brideandprejudice · 21/04/2022 08:31

Call the police. Do not let that man near any baby.

crackingreward · 21/04/2022 08:33

Why are you not taking steps to get free of this?

Help is available. I would absolutely be calling the police but if you don't feel able please do confide in your midwife and ask her for help to be safe.

Itshonestlynotthathard · 21/04/2022 08:35

You’re going to be a mother soon OP

there is something you can do to discretely alert the midwife. Google it

ElenaSt · 21/04/2022 08:36

Where is he now? Can you get out of the house and call on a neighbour to call the police?

Maydaysoonenough · 21/04/2022 08:36

Can you write descretely in your notes you need help? Does he bother looking at them? Or ring her and tell her to meet you.

LoudingVoice · 21/04/2022 08:37

Please speak to your midwife or call womens aid for help.

Do you have friends or family you could go to? Please keep yourself and your baby safe from this violent man.

Original poster
Romeerka · 21/04/2022 08:37

crackingreward · 21/04/2022 08:33

Why are you not taking steps to get free of this?

Help is available. I would absolutely be calling the police but if you don't feel able please do confide in your midwife and ask her for help to be safe.

He's a manipulator and gaslighter. He keeps telling me abuse is only abuse if he physically hits me.

I have an appointment in a couple of hours. I will bring it up and pack the essentials with me just in case.

I slept on the sofa tonight and he kept coming to pick on me again before angrily slamming leaving and slamming the bedroom door.
Telling me it is all my fault for not wanting to reconcile

OP posts:
AllOverIt · 21/04/2022 08:39

This is abuse, whatever he tells you.

Please pack your essentials when you go to the midwife. Is there someway you could call someone to be with you, other than him?

Original poster
Romeerka · 21/04/2022 08:39

Thank you guys, yes I will be doing that thing with the midwife if he does come.

I don't have anyone here I can go to

OP posts:
Original poster
Romeerka · 21/04/2022 08:40

ElenaSt · 21/04/2022 08:36

Where is he now? Can you get out of the house and call on a neighbour to call the police?

He is home now, but I will use the appointment to get away

OP posts:
namechangeanonymous · 21/04/2022 08:41

OK- you might not like this idea, but if you have to go to pregnancy day care you have to go alone (in my trust) can you ring them and say something doesn't feel right and you want checking over? When you are there, alert somebody.

Step1234 · 21/04/2022 08:47

You're really at risk here, along with your baby. If he tries to stay with you during your appointment there should be a way to alert the midwife so she can make him leave the room. There used to be posters about it in the toilets when i was pregnant but i can't remember what you had to do. Is there anyone at all you can go to or disclose? Any friends, work colleagues, anyone at all?

I mean, calling the police wouldn't be an overreaction. This is coercive control and it's a crime. He's physically assaulted you. Pushing, shoving, grabbing are all just as much assault as punching you would be.

Cryingintherain99 · 21/04/2022 08:48

Please get out of there today.
Your midwife will help you and point you in the right direction.
There are people who can help.

I have been in your situation, and honestly when I found the courage to speak up about what was happening everything changed for the better.
Please don't stay with him tonight. You need to put yourself and the baby first.
My ex was exactly the same - baring his teeth, punching the air, snarling and telling me how worthless he was.
He used to tell me it was my fault and that I drove him to it.
Then it escalated.

It is up to professionals to help you and your baby to stay safe.
Telling your midwife is the first step. You are being so brave in doing that.
My heart goes out to you, but I can promise you that it will all turn out fine.

TeenPlusCat · 21/04/2022 08:48

Some places run a sticker scheme in the women's toilets where you can take off a dot sticker and put it on your folder cover to indicate you need help.

Cryingintherain99 · 21/04/2022 08:50

Cryingintherain99 · 21/04/2022 08:48

Please get out of there today.
Your midwife will help you and point you in the right direction.
There are people who can help.

I have been in your situation, and honestly when I found the courage to speak up about what was happening everything changed for the better.
Please don't stay with him tonight. You need to put yourself and the baby first.
My ex was exactly the same - baring his teeth, punching the air, snarling and telling me how worthless he was.
He used to tell me it was my fault and that I drove him to it.
Then it escalated.

It is up to professionals to help you and your baby to stay safe.
Telling your midwife is the first step. You are being so brave in doing that.
My heart goes out to you, but I can promise you that it will all turn out fine.

*How worthless I was that should have said

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 21/04/2022 08:50

Do not miss the opportunity to talk to your midwife. Abuse comes in many forms and doesn’t necessarily have to include him punching you.

Rrrunrunrunrunrun · 21/04/2022 08:51

I second the suggestion from @namechangeanonymous especially if you are worried he will come into the midwife appt with you/ you won’t have time alone to ask for help. If need be, sit in the toilet at the appointment and call the maternity unit from there to let them know you need help.

Please let us know how you get on and that you are ok. Right now the priority is making sure you are safe, you don’t need to pack lots of things.

PlantingTrees · 21/04/2022 08:52

Some places have a red pen in the toilets so you can put a red mark on the urine sample pot.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 21/04/2022 08:54

Well done on finding the courage to both recognise the abuse and deciding to seek help. Do the midwife thing today. All the best to you.

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