Fed up of being the afterthought in friendships

[BlueCookieMonster]

This has really upset me of late, the last time I saw someone who wasn’t my family or work colleague was February.

I feel like I do all the reaching out, and I’m really tired of it. It’s got to the point that I need work for socialising with people I’m not related to. 🙄

I’m not a weirdo, I’m a good friend, and I realise friendships have seasons. But I’m a bit lonely of late.

This is a topic dear to my heart and I have posted many times on similar threads. I too have the same problem because my work is now entirely WFH. Many of my friends are less social and more flaky after the pandemic. I now prefer group events, like a once a month book club, a once a month pub quiz club and so on. This way if someone flakes, you still have a few people left.

Tell me about it! The pandemic seems to have just stopped anyone communicating properly

I tried hard to keep contacting people, sent cards as a hello, how you doing kinda thing

not one bugger ever checked in with me to see how I am. Fundamentally I don’t apparently matter to very many people at all!

the people I have in my life now are few, but wonderful. I suppose that’s the thing to take from this.

Op send one message to each friend and then stand back and wait and see, if they come back then you know they care and are also committed to the friendship. If they are not making an effort, don't take it personally we don't know what is going on their lives (MH, overwhelmed, dog tired) just let it go. In time they may bounce back who knows.

Put your efforts into new friendship groups, new hobbies and make new friends. You will care a lot less about the old ones when you have new circles to enjoy.
The pandemic has been a huge disrupter. It is not you, it is the situation. Start a new chapter.

There is a daytime meet up option online for a midweek walk and a chinwag. Something cropped up The other week so I couldn't go. Business paperwork had to come first and I am still busy with it. I cannot go this week nor next week am hoping to make it in a couple of weeks now.

I feel as if I have lost the art of chatting to people of late. I keep in touch with friends who live elsewhere but to be honest I genuinely do not feel capable of making small talk to a bunch of strangers. Even though I have done that many times in the past.

Best to power through I guess. Hey ho..

Could you volunteer to do something you are interested in at the weekend? Would get you meeting people, even if it didn't ultimately result in friendships. Thinking of things like helping at the Park Run, food bank if yours is open at the weekend, animal rescue centre etc.
As for your existing friends, I would send each of them one message and, if they don't get back to you, don't chase them.

Ironically a friend literally messaged me on a whim today and we met up for coffee.

I might look round for a local meet up of some kind, get me out and about a bit more.