School admissions day as a bereaved parent

[Rrrunrunrunrunrun]

Anyone else struggling? Today would be the day we found out about primary schools but dd died 3 years ago. Ironically I’m meeting my NCT friends tonight and I’m sure there will be lots of talk about schools.

Normally I can hold it together but I’m struggling today. Anyone else in the same boat?

I haven't but I didn't want to read and run.

I know others who have had children die who say it never leaves you but those milestone moments are the hardest - especially when their peers are taking them.

Look after yourself. Do what you need to do to get through today and any other difficult days in the future.

No I've not been in your position. Hopefully someone will be along shortly that can be of more use to you.
One thought - do you want to meet with your NCT friends tonight? Will it help? It's fine to be kind to yourself.

Oh gosh @Rrrunrunrunrunrun

You poor thing. What a strange day today must be for you. I'm sure it's not the first (nor will it be the last) time there'll be some kind of milestone or event that will slap you in the face.

Is the NCT group the one you were with for your DD? Will it help you tonight or will it be too much?

Be very kind to yourself today

I often think of this and how painful other people's milestones or National 'this that and the other day' must be for people who have experienced loss.

Please do something nice for yourself today, no matter how small, and be gentle with what you expect of yourself.

As a poster above said, I would consider whether meeting your friends tonight is the best idea for your well-being (given the day and nature of your friendships origin).

I have a friend whose son took his own life (I realise this is different circumstances) in secondary school. She is obviously devastated and carries the grief , but recently told me that she enjoys(right word?) hearing about what my son and peers are doing, especially the milestones (learning to drive, first drink etc) because it helps her imagine what he would have been like.

I'm so sorry that you are grieving, nobody shoild lose a child. Your friends will be full of the school allocations news, and will want to talk about it. They will definitely not be wanting to hurt you though and they will be aware of your grief and that you will be feeling awkward. Unfortunately there is no 'right' thing for them to say or do. They may say something that is painful for you to hear but this will not come from an unkind place.

Thinking of you x

I'm so sorry. I think lots of people find those milestones very hard. I must admit I unexpectedly welled up at my dc's school Christmas service when the reception children paraded by all dressed up and I remembered that my late miscarriage baby would have been in that class.