Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Where did you meet your friends?

20 replies

chubbachub · 18/04/2022 13:46

If you have a group of friends as an adult, where or how did you meet them?

I'm not in touch with anyone from school, my best friend moved to a different country and we lost touch, and don't consider my work colleagues 'friends' but have recently met a group of mums at a baby group and became good friends.
It made me realise how difficult I have found it to make friends as an adult until now. I feel grateful as I think I will be friends with these women for a long time.

How did you meet your friends? How many people are still close with school friends, and does anyone else find it difficult to make friends as an adult? I feel like I have just been lost in a parenting bubble and totally forgot to think of myself! I talk to alot of mums at school etc but could never get past casual chit chat.

OP posts:

ImInStealthMode · 18/04/2022 14:05

I moved away when I was 20 and have lost touch with all but 1 or 2 school friends. I've got a wide circle of friends now and they've almost all come through work, or are people I've met through people from work.

It helped that I worked in hospitality for many years so there was a busy social scene and lots of people who'd moved through various work places so knew lots of people locally.

Other friends have come from the local running scene, I do Parkrun often and when I was single (and very lonely) I'd always have breakfast afterwards in the cafe nearby, and be open to talking to anyone. Sometimes you need to push yourself out there a bit I think x

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2022 14:06

School for me, not very helpful!

AHungryCaterpillar · 18/04/2022 14:08

Most people I know are still friends with all their friends from school! Unfortunately I was bullied at school so don’t have any friends from school and have found it very hard making friends since, everyone I know has that good group of old school friends.

Original poster

chubbachub · 18/04/2022 14:13

@AHungryCaterpillar

Sorry to hear about your school experience.

I was fortunate enough to have a group of 5-6 really good school friends and I dont know what happened. We just all lost touch. I reached out a few times during the first lockdown to see how people were getting on and heard nothing back. It's like since I had kids no one bothered anymore.

Its easy to feel like you've gone wrong somewhere along the line if you aren't still besties with mates from school isn't it?

OP posts:

Original poster

chubbachub · 18/04/2022 14:15

@ImInStealthMode

It helped that I worked in hospitality for many years so there was a busy social scene and lots of people who'd moved through various work places so knew lots of people locally.

Agree with putting yourself out there! I've got 3 children and I haven't had the confidence to do so until after my 3rd baby. I would go to all the bookbugs and baby clubs but struggled to get over that line of "mums at baby group" to "friends I can go on nights out with and call in the middle of the night when things are shit!" until now. So glad I did it. I was starting to feel like my life was just kids, work, housework... repeat.

OP posts:

KitKattaktik · 18/04/2022 14:16

I made my friends through a craft club that was started in my village. Before then I only had acquaintances from work.

Lightning020 · 18/04/2022 14:17

Two friends through a spiritual group. Although I no longer attend I consider them good friends. Two schoolfriends who live far but we always keep in touch. An old friend from London when I went on a workshop day when still living down there at the time. A friend from netmums. A new friend from a business site as we are both self employed. I will be joining a meet up group summertime to find more friends too as a few have drifted off.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2022 14:21

I moved away from whwre I grew up and went to school when I was 21, and I am only in touch with school friends on FB.

Locally I am friends with people I met at toddler group, friends from work, a coiple of parents from when DD was at primary school, neighbours, book group and a group of women I met through church. I am joining another volunteering group and they seem pretty sociable as well.

We also have friends that we used to work with, and DH is still friends from people at university. He is 70 and has known thm for over 50 years!

Unfortunately, a lot of them aren't local so we don't see them very often.

TeenPlusCat · 18/04/2022 14:21

University, Work, toddler group, PTA.

MummyInTheNecropolis · 18/04/2022 14:24

I have a group of 4 close friends, one I’ve known since we were babies, one I met at secondary school, one I met at work 10 years ago and the other I met through my sister being friends with her sister. They all met each other through me and get on brilliantly so we’ve become a group, and all have individual friendships as well. I have some newer friends met through work as well, and some of my sister’s friends have become my friends too.

XenoBitch · 18/04/2022 14:24

I met them in a combination of group therapy and mental health support groups.

ThePug · 18/04/2022 14:39

Doing NCT with my eldest who's now 6 - only one who I still see regularly and we're very good friends, I'm godmother to her youngest. And a mum I met when same DC started school last year and our two boys became best friends. Both of them seem to have lots of other friends from uni, neighbours etc but they're my only real friends rather than just acquaintances.

gingerhills · 18/04/2022 14:52

My friendship groups are:

old school friends, old uni friends, ex-colleagues, current colleagues (which often overlap as everyone knows everyone in our field of work, so we keep finding people in common and adding to the group.

I also have local friends who are a mix of primary school gate mums (DC long since grown and left home) or people I met through evening classes. Again, there's a cross over.

Countdownis35 · 18/04/2022 14:55

School and college. Not in touch from school.

Work colleagues but once I've moved jobs haven't really stayed in touch other than SM really. I think it's hard to meet new friends I made 2 friends from a community baby group I'm close to one of them still.

2 of my colleagues I'm quite friendly with and we have been for a meal outside of work together.

Planesmistakenforstars · 18/04/2022 15:29

I'm not in touch with anyone I went to school or uni with.
My first workplace (15 years ago for me) has a group of people who always go to the pub on a Friday after work, and it's just been a standing invitation that anyone can turn up. Sometimes there's a only a core group of 4 there, some nights there's friends of friends, usually the bartenders after they finish their shift, and about 30 people in all. So, I've met most of my new friends through the pub. Everyone has spin off groups with other people they share interests with - there's a walking group, curry group, horror film group, poker night, book club etc

oldestmumaintheworld · 18/04/2022 15:39

I have friends from school, work, NCT, church, school PTA, WI, next door neighbour. I've moved house often and collected friends along the way. One of my best friends I met on jury service 20 years ago. Be open to chatting to people.

Scandishores222 · 18/04/2022 15:51

I was exactly the same as you, I was so grateful to make some mum friends. Unfortunately now our 'babies' are teenagers they've all evaporated into thin air so I'm back to square one. Was lovely while it lasted though.

VenusClapTrap · 18/04/2022 16:12

School, uni, work, NCT, school mums. My closest friends now are former work colleagues and school mums. I don’t see school and uni friends much any more and the NCT relationships are fading now the dc are secondary school age.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/04/2022 16:15

4 from school, 6 or so I worked with, a few mums (eldest child is 4)

ifonly4 · 18/04/2022 17:05

One friend from playgroup and school.

A group of five friends, mothers of children in DC's class - have been friends sixteen years now.

One friend from work. She left over a year ago, so it's not just a work thing.

Very lucky that DH has a large circle of friends, they all know eachother and are married to someone in the group. I've known them 26 years. If the girls are going out, I'm often included.

Flip