The holidaymakers next door

[mindutopia]

Just a rant really, I know I’m not being at all unreasonable. We live in a very rural area that is somewhere people like to visit. It’s pretty and remote and lovely. The only house within about a mile or more is a holiday let. Owners are lovely and actually bought the property back that their grandparents used to own 60 years ago. We have no issues with them. We also have no issues with 95% of their guests. They are usually very quiet and respectful and all that.

We had a family arrive yesterday for the week, with a 5 & 10 year old (we have a 4 & 9 year old, so great we thought!). They came over to play yesterday afternoon, fine.

I woke up this morning to their 5 year old in our lounge (we have like 5 doors, it’s a big old farmhouse, we don’t lock them usually at night as literally no one bothers us down here). I returned him to his family.

They attempted to come over several times today but I sent them back as we were having an Easter egg hunt in the garden and also having lunch. They finally came over again in the afternoon (I was in the house tidying up after lunch). We live on a farm so I can’t really see much from the kitchen, or else if I’d seen them, I would have intervened.

The 5 year old got into our chicken pen, let all the chickens out, threw about £5 worth of food and grit everywhere, and then appeared in my lounge (I was tidying up toys) and chucked 4 eggs on the floor (thankfully didn’t break!). I’m over it.

I only discovered the chickens let out (for foxes to eat) and food thrown everywhere just now as I went to tidy up outside for the evening. I went to knock on holiday let’s door but was dark inside downstairs and I could hear kids in bathroom upstairs so they are obviously doing bath and bedtime now.

I’ll speak with them tomorrow, but I just needed to rant. We’ve had so many people traveling to our lovely part of the country the past couple years and it does provide income for many local people (not Dh and I, we work in careers totally unrelated to tourism). But these are the first CF we’ve had in a long time and it just irritates me. Every time I’ve returned their children to them, they’ve just been in the kitchen, drinking, and oblivious. We had a bonfire burning today. We have a river with deep fast flowing water. We also had our puppy out this afternoon, who is lovely but very big and jumpy, which is why we are careful to only have her off lead on our own farm. She definitely could have injured one on these kids in excitement if we hadn’t known they were wondering around our land. And also just the damage and expense to our livestock. I’ve had to clean out the duck and chicken houses because they filled them with pellets and they can choke without access to water. They’re here 5 more days! I will go have a word in the morning, but in the meantime, just arghhhh!

@Littleorangeflowers

If someone came into my house my dog would think yes! This is me! It's my time! Because nothing ever happens here 😂

Mine would make a lot of noise and then offer to show them round… 🙄😂

@mindutopia

The parents have never come over, no. I spoke to them as they literally came down the drive yesterday (we share a drive, houses maybe 1/4 apart), and said lovely to meet you.

The dc appeared in our garden about an hour later and played for like 30 and I took them back over to their parents (drinking in the kitchen) , and said they had to go home as we were having dinner but would be happy to invite them back at some point this week. I haven’t seen the parents since, though I’ve returned their children 4 times today.

I don’t think having a playdate for an hour implies they can just send them over at 9am when they can’t be arsed to get out of bed! My dc have loads of play dates with dc who come to visit. The parents normally just talk to us or with a small child, accompany them.

Anyway, it appears that the dad (who has come down with his ex and current partner, and children) is an employee of the holiday let owners, who are furious, so hopefully CF will get read the riot act. Just a shame as my dc would love to play with them, but they clearly need to be supervised and someone who isn’t us, needs to do it.

I think you must be a MUCH nicer person than I, OP, because absolutely nothing would induce me to invite strange children over to play in the garden just because they happened to be staying A MILE AWAY for a week! You have no idea how that's going to unfold. What if the kids are complete nightmares? You don't know their parents, you don't know if the parents are going to be Odd and accuse you of random nastiness, you don't know if the kids are feral little buggers who will nick your own kids' toys and raid the larder.... Who DOES invite totally strange children to play without at least trying to take the measure of them, or of their parents?

From the other parents' POV, it could be a safeguarding nightmare (though clearly this lot don't give a toss). But it's obvious that they're feckless lazy arseholes who took your (silly) invitation to bring the kids over to play as an all-hours invitation for childcare. They clearly don't understand the first thing about farm safety, let alone allowing their children to go over to a complete stranger's house without supervision.

Honestly, if you don't get any joy with a firm talking-to at their house, I'd be calling the non-emergency police number and expressing concern about the wellbeing of the children.

How can these parents think it’s safe for children to wander about a working farm? Telehandlers, cattle, general farmyard junk, chemicals, tractors, sharp things, steep drops, standing water, flowing water, slurry .. the list is endless! Agricultural accidents are hardly rare events. Never mind letting small kids out around total strangers.
Even if they did think the kids were “welcome at any time” would basic common sense not tell them it was completely unsafe????

It is batshit. The OP invited visiting kids to play and gave the parents an afternoon to settle in. And suddenly she is held responsible for all the million stupid things they could do to get themselves into danger. Errr, where are the parents?

You'd need to be either very thick or very sheltered not to realise that the whole world isn't exactly like the bit right in front of your nose though.

Which was exactly my point @Scianel

@ExMachinaDeus Fair

ExMachinaDeus

Thing is, that the crime in rural areas is of the sort the OP states: stealing expensive farm machinery, stealing fuel, stealing livestock sometimes.“

When we were still living in Cornwall, my husband’s home county, one of the notorious murders for some time took place on the Roseland.

Anyone assuming that it’s still Enid Blyton territory (sorry, yes, that was Devon 😱 but the view of each county from holiday-makers is similar) and allows a 5 year old to wander about alone needs their head tested or a serious discussion with social services.

allows a 5 year old to wander about alone needs their head tested or a serious discussion with social services

If they're townies they'll be fairly ignorant about farm safety - a lot of urban dwellers think it is all 'look at the pretty lambs' sort of stuff.

Whereas, rural life has its dangers - but they're different from those of suburban or urban life. I've lived in the centre of big cities, and in remote countryside (although never in suburbia thank goodness). They're different & I guess a lot of tourists don't realise that.

ExMachinaDeus

Whereas, rural life has its dangers - but they're different from those of suburban or urban life. I've lived in the centre of big cities, and in remote countryside (although never in suburbia thank goodness). They're different & I guess a lot of tourists don't realise that.“

So have we. Mostly rural. Anyone who allows their 5 year old to wander about unattended and play in the home of complete strangers is a
f”””ing idiot , whatever the setting.

FYI Enid Blyton's Famous Five was set in and around the Isle of Purbeck, Dorset; it's also a place with lots of working farms and also lots of unthinking holidaymakers.

I sympathise with the beach goers being co-opted into childcare, it happens a lot at Studland beach.

PMSL at the idea that if you don't lock your doors you only have yourself to blame when unattended children rock up in your house.

:45Oatsandstuff

No the thread was another poster talking about whether she should move to the seaside

And op said that she’d only very recently moved to the countryside

OP isn't coming back, they've only lived there 5 minutes themsleves, maybe as long as the holiday let has been running. Lots to learn about living on a farm. Its not about locking your doors.

@ExMachinaDeus

allows a 5 year old to wander about alone needs their head tested or a serious discussion with social services

If they're townies they'll be fairly ignorant about farm safety - a lot of urban dwellers think it is all 'look at the pretty lambs' sort of stuff.

Whereas, rural life has its dangers - but they're different from those of suburban or urban life. I've lived in the centre of big cities, and in remote countryside (although never in suburbia thank goodness). They're different & I guess a lot of tourists don't realise that.

I think this is nonsense really. I am a City dweller. I watch the news and read papers. I know children are killed by tractors and slurry pits. I know it’s dangerous to enter a field if you don’t know what animals are there. I know dogs are frequently allowed to roam freely in farm yards.

These parents are spectacularly negligent: but not all people who live in cities are stupid😂😂😂. Such a ridiculous stereotype

@M0RVEN

This thread has been an interesting insight into city life in the UK.

I live in the country and we never lock our doors. I have to look for the key when we go on holiday. We don’t lock the car either.

Fortunately we have no sheep or tractors, although I guess I should worry about the oil / kero.

However thanks to this thread I now know that I NEVER want to live in a city where you have to keep your doors lock at all times. It sounds terrifying. What happens when you go into the back garden , to hang out washing or sit and have a coffee ? Do burglars come and go into the back door when you back is turned ?

What about your children ? Are they safe to play on the garden without people abducting them ?

I live in South London. Our doors automatically lock when you shut them. I don't have a garden. I've never had a break in but someone did break down the locked door of the flat below us (brute force) in the middle of a Sunday and steal all their tech when they were at lunch.

So yeah, you have to lock your doors in cities. And sometimes crime happens even if you do.

@OakRowan

:45Oatsandstuff

No the thread was another poster talking about whether she should move to the seaside

And op said that she’d only very recently moved to the countryside

OP isn't coming back, they've only lived there 5 minutes themsleves, maybe as long as the holiday let has been running. Lots to learn about living on a farm. Its not about locking your doors.

Maybe reread the OP's posts - nowhere does she say they've "only very recently moved to the countryside". She talks about the changes over the last couple of years, how her family have lived round there for generations etc, but nowhere does she say she's very recently moved in.

@Allergictoironing I've read those, this is other posts, about moving house, this year. She's been on MN a long time.

How on earth is that at all relevant to the poor parenting of the wandering 5 year old who is trashing the chicken pens?

The issue here is this particular set of holiday makers.

Waiting and hoping for photo of puppy 🐾

@Oatsandstuff

No point getting contents insurance OP As claim would be thrown out in and instant if discovered door unlocked whilst out

So if I take my dog into my front garden, and don't lock my front door my insurance is invalid? Or if I go for a walk, and leave DH and kids at home in the house, the insurance is invalid? That's what the OP says she did. I don't think so.

[quote mindutopia]@SillySallySassySausage Really?! 😂 No one here locks their doors. Truly my in laws who live in a similarly rural part of the same county, took two weeks to find the keys to their house as they never lock the doors except on holiday, and they never go on holiday. We literally only lock the doors if we all go out! I was out walking the dog and dc and Dh were still asleep in bed. We don’t live in a WAG McMansion in Chester 😂. I don’t lock the doors when I take the dog out for a wee, because who the hell does that. I’m out on my own garden. I don’t expect the hungover random neighbours children to wander in. I mean that’s literally never happened in the 12 years we’ve lived here. Is that a normal risk in Surrey?! I can imagine it is. 😂[/quote]
Having lived 50/50 rural city, my view is that city folks don't have a clue out of the smoke.

And no, we don't lock doors either, why would you if you don't need to? Not needing to is one of the reasons we live in bucolic bliss.

[quote mindutopia]@NeverChange is this actually a thing people do? I’ve truly never met anyone around here who locks their doors when they are home? It’s one thing if no one is home, but to literally take the dog like 100m away while 3 people are actually in the house seems crazy.

I mean it doesn’t really fix the problem though does it?? Because the actual damage occurred behind closed, locked gates, behind 4 foot livestock fencing, while no one was around to be like ‘hey stop it!’. What do all the rest of the farmers in the UK do? We can’t be forever hanging out hoping no one is on holiday and decides to cross their land.

The issue with the kids coming into our house is one thing. But I it doesn’t address that at a completely separate time(s), they climbed over the gate and let our ducks and chickens out, and just generally were running around a working farm (behind obvious closed gates).[/quote]
My front door locks automatically. If the kids are in and out of the garden they have it drilled into them that the last one to come into the house has to lock the door, unless I'm in the kitchen doing things. Wouldn't dream of leaving the back door unlocked if I wasn't in the room that it leads to. London though.

What happened to the op ?

I would be slightly concerned the child could go wandering in the night. Maybe have a word now and don’t wait until morning.

@Hawkins001

What happened to the op ?

Probably gone away to bang her head against the wall from having to explain multiple times that she doesn't lock the doors! 🙈 OP - I make you completely right, parents sound like CF's and nobody has the right to think they can just enter your property. The sense of entitlement here is astonishing!

@Clymene

Why are people so fucking fixated on whether or not the OP locks her doors? The issue is the 5 year old wandering into her house and among her livestock

This. It’s bizarre. Children shouldn’t be left wandering alone into someone else’s property, let alone into someone else’s house. And that’s before the horrifying fact of all the danger for a five year old on farm land, FFS. God knows how OP hasn’t lost her manure shit explaining this on this thread. She could have no doors at all and it still wouldn’t be the point.