stillbirth. why is there no forum?

HijHij · 2022-04-17T14:01:53+00:00

just as the title says. There is the pregnancy/miscarriage or bereavement forums but nothing for stillbirth, so unless I can't find it. I know it's not an easy subject but it happens many times over every day and a section on a parenting forum should be a standard, not something to be ignored.

MartinMartinMarti · 17/04/2022 15:12

Sorry you need this - the ‘miscarriage and pregnancy loss’ board includes people who have suffered a stillbirth. You will find lots of people (unfortunately) there x

TabithaTittlemouse · 17/04/2022 15:14

I think people tend to post on the bereavement board. You are right though, there should be somewhere to post.

Babyroobs · 17/04/2022 16:09

Lots of threads on the bereavement board for support.

Yummiliscious · 17/04/2022 16:26

You are absolutely right, there is no separate section for stillbirth. I think it’s an oversight by MN.

Original poster

HijHij · 17/04/2022 22:21

I'm going to ask for a specific stillbirth and a neonatal death board.

All the miscarriage posts seem to be early loss and bereavement feels to be adult bereavement.

What about the babies who never had a chance to just be?

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Original poster

HijHij · 17/04/2022 22:28

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/4532306-stillbirth-and-neonatal-death-board-please

I hope people can support me with this request

And huge apologies for the terrible 'typo' I meant neonatal. I have to use speech to text and it didn't understand my tears. Ivm sorry.

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ZeroCaffeine · 18/04/2022 00:24

There are lots of posters who have experienced stillbirth posting on the bereavement board?

JellyBunny · 18/04/2022 00:34

I posted on the bereavement board when my daughter was stillborn. It never occurred to me a separate section was needed in addition to the pregnancy loss abs bereavement boards.

greyinganddecaying · 18/04/2022 01:05

I'm so sorry @HijHij - hope you're getting lots of support. Losing a baby is horrific.

Seafog · 18/04/2022 01:08

I think I have sadly seen a number of still births in the bereavement section, I'm sorry you've been through this pain

Krabapple · 18/04/2022 05:18

I am so sorry about your lost op. I completely agree with you - there should be a separate thread.
Have you found SANDS? They have an extensive forum/chat room. The charm was quite new when I needed it. I can’t go on there now but it was huge when I last used it.

Impatientwino · 18/04/2022 05:44

Hi @HijHij

I'm so sorry you've needed to look for such a board. I lost my son in 2016 and received tremendous support and advice via the bereavement board - much of which I carry with me today. An individual board would be a good idea though.

I now volunteer with SANDS as a befriender and help run my local group and our support meetings. Forgive me if you know all this already but each local group will have a Facebook group and a website if you are in need of some support. If you aren't sure of yours and are happy to PM me I can help find your nearest group if you like.

I'm travelling today so won't be online much but home tomorrow.

Original poster

HijHij · 19/04/2022 07:59

@JellyBunny

I posted on the bereavement board when my daughter was stillborn. It never occurred to me a separate section was needed in addition to the pregnancy loss abs bereavement boards.

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, but pleased you found comfort on the General bereavement and boards.

We are all different, we all deal with grief in our own way; in the middle of the night there is a huge expanse between the type of bereavement discussed.

I deliberately waited a day before responding because I felt totally stupid and fobbed off by your comment, but realised its just that we are all different.

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Original poster

HijHij · 19/04/2022 08:03

the request for a stillbirth and neonatal death board, along with late miscarriage has a lot of support.

If you have a minute, would any of you keep bumping this thread or
adding your support to the thread linked above?

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cutebbg · 19/04/2022 08:04

@HijHij

I haven't had a stillbirth (but have had another immediate family loss when younger). Even I wondered why there's no stillbirth board. Or at least the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board to be renamed as maybe miscarriage and stillbirth. I hope they create one soon, because unlike some of the really obscure ones, a stillbirth board she be an essential on Mumsnet 🌻

JellyBunny · 21/04/2022 08:18

I didn't mean to fob you off OP. It was just an observation that it didn't occur to me and I found a lot of support on those boards. I didn't really understand what the reasoning is. Is the issue that you want to be able to read others' experiences all in once place or somewhere more dedicated for you to share yours? I started a thread on the bereavement section and had a lot of replies and support and I also found similar threads on that section but I can see how having a dedicated section would make those easier to find.

I don't know if you are aware but there is a dedicated Sands forum and I also found that useful.

Moodycow78 · 21/04/2022 08:35

I agree a separate board is needed for stillbirth or neonatal deaths, it is different from other bereavements, not worse but different xxx

Original poster

HijHij · 21/04/2022 23:03

JellyBunny · 21/04/2022 08:18

I didn't mean to fob you off OP. It was just an observation that it didn't occur to me and I found a lot of support on those boards. I didn't really understand what the reasoning is. Is the issue that you want to be able to read others' experiences all in once place or somewhere more dedicated for you to share yours? I started a thread on the bereavement section and had a lot of replies and support and I also found similar threads on that section but I can see how having a dedicated section would make those easier to find.

I don't know if you are aware but there is a dedicated Sands forum and I also found that useful.

It's OK, we are all different. I was having a difficult day, sorry

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