Does anybody else feel like they are just existing?

[justexisting22]

I need somewhere to write my thoughts as I feel utterly low right now and I don't have anybody to talk to irl.

Recently I feel like I'm really not living life, merely existing. I'm just trying to get through each day, some days it's more of a struggle than others, some days I feel like I can. But I feel so down this morning. Most people around me with DC have done something nice this weekend for Easter, however I can't afford to do anything or go anywhere as I literally have £0 until payday next week. This isn't a begging post or anything, but I really wonder if there's anybody out there that's felt like this/currently feeling the same. I'd love some advice, as at the moment I feel like I'm failing my son by not giving him experiences. I try to take him out for fresh air most days so we are not sat in the house all day, but that's not really having fun. We do activities at home etc. but there's only so much that I can do. I just feel guilty for him and I'm constantly worrying whether or not he's happy

Any advice here would be so helpful, I understand it's a bit long so if you've read this far, I'm really grateful

Oh love it's so hard isn't it.

Sounds like you're doing a great job with your son. How old is he? If he is getting out and having fresh air every day plus activities at home it sounds like you're doing a great job - many kids won't have the same.

I'm sure someone will be along to give you a link to a list of free/ virtually free activities to do with kids. Just if you want to mix it up a bit for your own sake!

Is there any way you can change your financial situation? Could you take some over time / get a part time job etc.

So sorry you feel like this you are not alone!!

Thank you @D0lphine for reading and even taking the time to respond, it means a lot to me

He's 3 so still really little yet. I do work, but it is low paid which I'm really fed up about. Anxiety and depression has been the only thing stopping me from applying for other jobs. However I realise I've come to a point where life simply cannot continue like this and I have to do something to change it, because my existence is really miserable at the moment

I feel you.

If you are taking him out for fresh air and managing some activities at home, you're doing radically better than me.

I've put swimming (once), cinema (once) and a day of forest school on the cc. It wasn't the best idea, but I'll have to worry about that later.

@LetHimHaveIt You're doing a great job too

Honestly, to a 3-year-old anything free in the fresh air is fun. Please don’t compare yourself to those picture perfect social media posts. You’re doing great, I promise.

We'll be ok, @justexisting22. Keep going.

Thank you @NoSquirrels .

I agree, it is so so difficult not to compare on social media. All morning I've been seeing pictures of Easter eggs and treats piled high for other DCs. I was able to get my son an Easter egg though and a book so for that I am thankful, even though it's not a lot.

I feel this! Money is so tight at the moment with nursery fees and cost of living going up. Lots of posts of my eldest's friends going away for Easter and doing lots of things and it's hard not to compare.

We got a box of small eggs from Aldi for a few pounds and hid them round the garden and the girls got a £1 egg each. We went out to the local park but otherwise no big gestures and honestly both of them have been as happy as can be (if you ignore the 2 year old tantrums and the sibling bickering 😅).

Children don't need the big gestures to be happy. You're doing a great job.

It sounds like you are doing your best for your son. Lots of people are really struggling at the moment. Hope things improve for you soon.

Please don't worry
Children love
Jumping in puddles
Paddling in a steam or throwing pebbles in .
Picnic in the park
Ice cream from the supermarket
A bigger/different park to your local one.

Going somewhere and doing something doesn't have to cost money>
agree with Alwayscheerful, other things:
Go for a walk to the nearest park/nature reserve/unbuilt area and look for birds, butterflies or bugs - try and identify what you see
Is there a stream or pond or the sea? - get a jam jar and pond dip into a bucket /old ice cream container and see what you find

Yes I know how you feel. I need to stay off social media because the pictures of families having a great time in the sun makes me sad !

I've really ballsed up my dd9 Easter eggs too (melted bunny alert!) it's hard when other kids are being lavished by big extended families and I have to do it all !!

He really is so little and at a great age for just living in the moment.

Some of my days with my DS (17 now) were just playing hide and seek in the house, building endless lego towers, or chasing bubbles round the park.

And I promise you, all those people on social media posting pics of huge piles of eggs/birthday presents/Christmas presents, very few are impressed by that. Quite the opposite.

Yes, try and improve your circumstances when you are able, maybe once he's in school, because they do get more expensive and need more stimulation, etc. But know that right now, you really are more than enough for him.

At age 3 he won't need much stuff. I bet he loves getting out and about with you. You sound like you're doing a great job!

Re work, sorry that you're frustrated with low pay. I'm sure you've thought about how to increase your income, but it's tricky with MH issues.

I hear you. My DD has been battling anorexia for over a year now and it's sucked the joy out of every aspect of life. We hardly go anywhere because everything revolves around her meals and going out is just such a miserable experience we've stopped bothering really. It's fucking shit. Watching everyone going out and about this weekend having a nice time has really upset me.

Hoping things her brighter for you OP

Thank you so much everybody for being so supportive. We got through the day and I made it as special as possible at home. We had fun playing, eating chocolate and had lots of cuddles before bedtime hoping for a better tomorrow.