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Original poster

What do I do? Sibling partner on dating site

24 replies

Jules123izzy · 17/04/2022 08:37

Hi
Last night my daughter told me that she saw my sisters boyfriend swiping left and right on a dating site.
My sister and her partner have been dating for a year.. They are totally in love and he is very lovely. He treats her well and I think they're a good match.
I don't know what to do!
Could there be a an explanation!
I am scared to mention anything.,she totally adores him
Please help!

OP posts:
nomistake · 17/04/2022 08:40

You need to tell her. Your loyalty doesn't lie with him.

Countdownis35 · 17/04/2022 08:40

I would screen shot the pictures firstly. I would advise your sister to check her BF phone and laptop before asking her BF.

HerkyBaby · 17/04/2022 08:40

You absolutely need to tell her before she invests /wastes anymore of her time on this man.

DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 17/04/2022 08:42

Yes, tell her. If it comes out later that you knew it will be more hurtful in the long run. She's your sister.

GeneLovesJezebel · 17/04/2022 08:44

I’d find him on the site, screen shot it, then send it to her.
And tell her to get an STI test.

AllFreeOwls · 17/04/2022 08:50

How old is your daughter (ie old enough to recognise a dating site)? This would have a baring on things... If she's old enough to recognise the site that is one thing, if she's only little and has just seen him swiping left and right on a phone that's another (could be playing a mobile game for example).
If she's old enough to be confident in what she saw I'd have a look on the app and try and locate him. Without proof your sister is likely to just brush any accusation off.

TabithaTittlemouse · 17/04/2022 08:52

Does she know that that was definitely what he was doing? Did she see the screen?
I would set up an account and have a look before you accuse him.

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/04/2022 08:56

How old is your daughter?

girlmom21 · 17/04/2022 09:01

If she certain it was a dating site?

If she is, tell your sister because he's clearly not as in love as he claims.

Original poster
Jules123izzy · 17/04/2022 09:33

My daughter is 16 and saw him swiping left and right on his mobile so we wouldn't be able to screen shot anything

OP posts:
nosyupnorth · 17/04/2022 09:41

Did she actually 100% see it was a dating site, or did she just see him swiping on his mobile?

Loads of apps using swiping, and the swipe left or right to express a preference mechanic has made it to many other services - e.g. Olio the food waste app has a section of swiping left or right to accept or decline their waste reduction challenges, many shopping apps, apps with challenges etc do similar - I definitely wouldn't be rushing in to meddle in their relationship because a 16 year old saw him swiping and in true teen drama fashion jumped to whatever conclusion would get them loads of attention for discovering the 'scandal'.

Ariela · 17/04/2022 09:42

@Jules123izzy

My daughter is 16 and saw him swiping left and right on his mobile so we wouldn't be able to screen shot anything
Is she sure it's not one of those annoying arcade games? Did she actually see the screen or just the swiping?
AllFreeOwls · 17/04/2022 10:04

Did she see the screen or just the swiping?

Fatherliamdeliverance · 17/04/2022 10:11

Yes, is your daughter 100% sure what she saw, as in she saw that it was, say, Tinder or Bumble and he was swiping on photos of women (or men) rather than just he was swiping on an app? I'm not doubting her, it just seems so brazen of him to sit and do that in front of a partner's family.

If she seems sure then I think you need to go straight to your sister with the information you have and let her decide how to move forward.

catfunk · 17/04/2022 10:14

Unless daughter can 100% be certain she saw a tinder/ bumble logo I'd do nothing.
Loads of apps and games use swiping commands now.

IDontHaveAnOutingHobby · 17/04/2022 10:23

Loads of games swipe- Pokemon go for example

FairyCakeWings · 17/04/2022 10:27

Dating sites can’t be the only thing that people need to swipe left or right on so the evidence that he’s doing anything wrong is pretty flimsy.

Thestagshead · 17/04/2022 10:31

So she didn’t actually see what he was doing jist he was swiping left and right and he could habe been playing a game on his phone?

Original poster
Jules123izzy · 17/04/2022 10:31

@AllFreeOwls

Did she see the screen or just the swiping?
I'll ask her
OP posts:
Original poster
Jules123izzy · 17/04/2022 10:33

@AllFreeOwls

How old is your daughter (ie old enough to recognise a dating site)? This would have a baring on things... If she's old enough to recognise the site that is one thing, if she's only little and has just seen him swiping left and right on a phone that's another (could be playing a mobile game for example). If she's old enough to be confident in what she saw I'd have a look on the app and try and locate him. Without proof your sister is likely to just brush any accusation off.
Yes she's old enough to know I'll ask her if she saw which site it was
OP posts:
greenlynx · 17/04/2022 10:39

Could it be that he was on dating sites before and still getting adverts from them and your DD saw this? I’m not saying that him still being on dating site is impossible, just that it’s better to approach this carefully.

QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 10:49

Seems unlikely he’d be doing this in front of his girlfriends niece. More likely he was playing a game

ThatsALotOfPassionfruit · 17/04/2022 10:55

Blimey, there are loads of things he could’ve been doing not necessarily dating apps!

You need to be certain before telling your sister, a false accusation wouldn’t be good.

InFiveMins · 17/04/2022 17:44

I'd say at 16 she can recognise the dating website, even if she's not used it before she'll know what it looks like. I'd tell your sibling.

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