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Original poster

Has anyone else's husband really stepped up to the plate over the years?

29 replies

Reflectiveshine322 · 16/04/2022 06:57

I've been with DH for 24 years now. When we first met he was a bit of lad, liked nights out, drinking, not very responsible with money but always treated me well.

The last few years have been difficult for lots of reasons and I look at him now and just think what an amazing man he's turned into. He's so supportive, positive, hard working, a fantastic dad, a million miles from the teenager I met all those years ago. It's brought us closer rather than pulling us apart.

Anyone been through difficult times in life and felt so thankful to have their OH to lean on?

OP posts:
FiveShelties · 16/04/2022 07:06

We have moved from UK to NZ, back to UK when my Dad was ill and then back to NZ and he has been amazing. I cannot imagine life without him, we have no children and he is my absolute best friend.

He would have been an amazing Dad and is a fantastic partner, I am very lucky.

My first husband on the other hand ...............

Tootiredorcare · 16/04/2022 07:08

Absolutely love this post your day has started amazing

Nnique · 16/04/2022 07:16

He has. He was brilliant right from the beginning, tbf, and has stayed that way throughout some very difficult times for the two of us over the years. He’s a genuinely decent person with integrity and I admire him greatly and absolutely adore him. Endlessly patient, endlessly generous and endlessly loving. I thank my lucky stars that we found each other.

Starshine22 · 16/04/2022 07:24

Yes! Always been the loveliest man alive. He would do absolutely anything for me but lazy, lacking in ambition, rubbish with money. We share chores 50/50 but I've always had to instruct him, I've always been the breadwinner and the saver! He's always worked hard, don't get me wrong, but has never been ambitious.

5 months ago I fell pregnant and he's a different person. He has had a 13k pay rise, he regularly works overtime on weekends to provide for us. He has had promotion after promotion in his job. He tidies (without being asked 😂).

I just love him.

Show your husband the post! I'm sure he would love to read all the amazing things you've said about him.

Roselilly36 · 16/04/2022 07:31

Yes my DH, is an amazing husband and dad too.

Always supported to learn to drive, advance my career, boosted my confidence - I had low self esteem when I met him, over 30 years ago.

He cooks, that started when I was pregnant withDS1 and was sick every night. And he has cooked all our family meals ever since.

He has helped my get through an acute bout of Transverse Myelitis 10 years ago and later my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. He will do anything to help me. My MS is now Secondary Progressive, I know without doubt whatever the future brings he will be there, no matter what.

Original poster
Reflectiveshine322 · 16/04/2022 07:35

Roselilly36 I've got complicated health issues too, he's seen me at my absolute lowest points and always picked me up (quite literally at times). He's also never made me feel anything less than beautiful and wanted even though I've had months of struggling to walk/shower etc. Best of luck with your health in the future, it can feel terrifying at times but I think if you've got someone to go through it all with it will always be ok.

OP posts:
Moody123 · 16/04/2022 07:48

Yes my DH (together 10 years) is my best friend, I love him to pieces
I am currently 39 weeks pregnant (and suffering tiredness and aches and pains) and he's looked after my DS for the past few months and myself all without complaining ...
He is a wonderful dad and the best person I know

DragonOverTheMoon · 16/04/2022 07:52

What a lovely thread OP. I love reading of happy marriages

tiggergoesbounce · 16/04/2022 08:01

Yes my Dh is wonderful. He has just become even more so since we had our DS, he is a fabulous DH and we are a team.

It was a massive change to our lifes, as it is, having our DS and its made us appreciate eachother more. I know he would do anything for us and me him.

We play to our strengths and support eachother on the bits we struggle with, we support eachothers choices and needs.

I do feel really lucky to have him.

custardbear · 16/04/2022 08:04

Aahhh how lovely! My DH was never a lad but we split our parenting and house responsibilities well and he's always doing stuff with the kids, I'm very pleased he's a full hands on dad, love him to bits even now 26.5 years down the line 🥰

2DogsOnMySofa · 16/04/2022 09:21

My dh hasn't stepped up, as I've only known him for 10 years, but he's the kindest, most patient, thoughtful man I've ever met. He does more than his fair share of life drudgery with a smile on his face.

But, he's had a real chequered past, been married twice, been a bit of a lad, out all day/night, openly admits he was horrid to both his wives etc. his friends and family have all said he's a different bloke than he once was. He's in his 50s now so I'm sore age is a factor but I couldn't ask for a more lovely partner

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 16/04/2022 09:23

No, mine’s the complete opposite of yours OP.
I am seriously considering ending a 45 year marriage because of his behaviour.

Kinsters · 16/04/2022 09:29

I came down with covid just as my parents, brother and sister came to visit. My wonderful DH has stepped up and entertained them, cooked dinners, sorted lunches etc also whilst caring for our 2 young children whilst I'm isolating.

JessCat75 · 16/04/2022 09:30

@Reflectiveshine322

I've been with DH for 24 years now. When we first met he was a bit of lad, liked nights out, drinking, not very responsible with money but always treated me well.

The last few years have been difficult for lots of reasons and I look at him now and just think what an amazing man he's turned into. He's so supportive, positive, hard working, a fantastic dad, a million miles from the teenager I met all those years ago. It's brought us closer rather than pulling us apart.

Anyone been through difficult times in life and felt so thankful to have their OH to lean on?

I could have written this word for word OP, he's a gem!
Thisisit2022 · 16/04/2022 09:34

My ex always adored our child but was utterly hands-off and pretty useless when she was a baby and a toddler. We split when she was 4 and the bulk of the day to day still fell to me, though he never missed contact. However, when she hit a really sticky patch as an older teenager he REALLY stepped up. She probably owes her life, in part, to him.

Gliblet · 16/04/2022 09:41

Oh yes. SAHP, handles the bulk of home ed for DS10 (ASD & ADHD), got into a new hobby to support DS in trying it out and took to it well enough/is so genuinely interested in coaching others he is now being trained as an instructor for that hobby, equal shares in housework and does it to a good standard, good at DIY, and when my mum's health worsened and dad ended up in hospital at the same time he was right there doing visits, lifts, laundry, shopping, whatever they needed.

It doesn't always come naturally to him (more than likely on the autistic spectrum and definitely ADD) but he listens and works hard, and genuinely cares.

edwinbear · 16/04/2022 10:47

DH and I have had a couple of difficult years, he was made redundant in 2019 and it took him 2 yrs to find another job. He became severely depressed as a result, to the point of driving to Beachy Head to ‘have a look’. At that point, I insisted he went to the GP, he really didn’t want to go as he has severe social anxiety and couldn’t bring himself to call the GP and speak to someone to make the appointment, so I did it for him.

Having started AD’s he’s become a completely different man. Instead of sitting in the living room, in the dark, in silence, staring into space, he got himself a job in a pub. A nightmare for someone with social anxiety and earning a quarter of what he did in his old job, but he found he really enjoyed it. He’s since got a new job back in his old industry. He does most of the cooking, all the laundry, takes DC to their various activities, gets up with them in the mornings if I’m tired and need a lie in. He still struggles from time to time, but I’m incredibly proud of how resilient he’s been in trying to get well again and so pleased I stuck with him, when there were times I really wanted to leave.

Seafog · 16/04/2022 10:50

I've got one of the good 'uns , married 23 years, he is a great husband, father and friend.

Loyaultemelie · 16/04/2022 11:33

Absolutely. 3 years ago I had a life changing accident and he really stepped up, looking after the DC, cooking, slept downstairs on the sofa for 4 months with me because I couldn't move. He still does the lion's share of the housework as I can't and supports what I can do and the Dc help with without complaining. (Also puts up with us all having the cats sleep in the bedrooms despite being very much a dog man and my disabled "teenage" kitten being a complete arse and taking up most of the bed Grin)

littledrummergirl · 16/04/2022 11:41

I've been with my dh for almost 30 years, we've had rough points, times when we've drifted apart but he has absolutely supported me through everything and I hope he feels that I've done the same.
I feel lucky to call him my husband.

ifonly4 · 16/04/2022 12:06

Very lucky with mine as well.

I met my DH after a previously abusive relationship and came into the relationship with trauma issues. He really tried to understand and give me the support and space I needed in parts of our relationship.

He's an extremely hard worker, I can totally trust him and I know he's always there for me. Even though he spends more hours working than I spend working and doing housework, he's always grateful for everything I do. My DM is extremely hard work and he just accepts that's the way it is and we see her - she does out heads in within minutes, but he'll offer to take her home so can have a drink (I won't drive if I've had one drink).

BigFatLiar · 16/04/2022 12:47

I suspect that outside mumsnet most husbands do their bit. OH was the one that encouraged me to retrain for a more fulfilling role, helped me with my studies and got me through the exams. We've had a couple of serious health issues and he's been there for me. When the kids were born he was main carer for them as at that time my job involved a lot of travel. Basically he's always there for me and wants the best for me and the girls.

MaitreKarlsson · 16/04/2022 14:05

Yes - he's great. Married 17 years, 2 DC. Does more than his fair share of the endless domestic chores which I really appreciate - just gets on with it. (He was raised by a lovely mum who took me aside after we moved in together to check he was pulling his weight properly - think that really says a lot.)
He's great fun and can always make me laugh, but when I have something I want to tell him he gives me really honest and sensible feedback. We've had some ups and downs but I know he's absolutely solid and reliable. Whenever we get a rare night out together, even if things have been a bit hard/boring with the DCs, we love being together. We joke we can't wait for the DCs to eventually leave home Smile

stimpyyouidiot · 16/04/2022 14:09

Yes. He never did any housework. He didn't help with dd when she was newborn. Was awful with money and got us in to some big debt. We had some very serious conversations, very big fights, then he got a diagnosis for something that not only explains a lot but also gave him a kick up the arse. He now does more housework than I do, does everything he can with dd while he's not working, goes to things with school, helps her do her reading, and so much more. He is amazing, and supportive and loves our family so much. I couldn't ask for anything else. We're due our second in September.

yaboreme · 16/04/2022 14:13

My husband was a party animal, terrible with money etc, but always a 100% decent person.

We have been together 10 years and have been through the best and worst times of our lives together. We support, love and respect each other through everything.

When my son was born, I suffered terribly with PND and without him and his support and love I'm not sure I'd be here, he picked up all the things I couldn't do and worked his hardest to provide for us at the same time.

I'm eternally grateful for him being the man he is. We have both evolved in our relationship and appreciate each other for both our strengths and weaknesses.

He's hardworking and kind and I respect him massively.

I love him and I know how lucky I am. He's a keeper for sure x

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