What was your Oxbridge DC like when they were 15?

[boobashka]

Just wondering if I should be encouraging my 15 yr old DS to look into exploring an Oxbridge degree. He's able, in the top sets for everything at his very average state school. He works hard, is articulate and quite competitive. He's an all rounder with a particular interest in science. He's interested in a career in engineering. I just don't know if he would be capable of an oxbridge degree. I don't want to put any undue pressure on him but equally I want him to achieve his full potential. If you had a child who went on to attend Oxford or Cambridge what were they like at 15? Many thanks 😊

I don’t have an Oxbridge DC, but my sister went and I was offered a postgrad place (but turned it down).

At 15, my sister was very studious, very hardworking, and very responsible. She used to feel guilty if she wasn’t doing schoolwork and was a total bookworm. She also had a lot of extra curricular hobbies - swimming and dance. Having extra curricular stuff mattered a lot, apparently. Straight A*s GCSEs and A Levels.

We went to a shitty comp and sixth form college so it was a massive deal that she got in. Back then, Oxbridge really only accepted private school kids.

She’s a doctor now. And is still sensible, studious and hardworking. And is still a bookworm. She’s exactly the sort of doctor you’d want, actually!

She wanted Cambridge badly. Mostly because our parents wanted it for her because they wanted her to progress above them - they were very ambitious for us and put A LOT of pressure on us to achieve academically (which I hated, but she didn’t).

(We’re one school year apart and you can probably guess my year of birth from my username! So this wasn’t hugely recently.)

I went to Cambridge, I sound quite like your DS at 15. I was the first person from my school to ever go to oxbridge. I didn’t know what had hit me. I loved it

Thank you for your insight @Wanderlusting89. My DS is pretty well rounded and has a couple of hobbies he's really passionate about. He's no longer a bookworm (although he was until about 10 years old) but takes in information like a sponge. The reason I think we will have to encourage him is that his very average state school has no interest in pushing its most able students unfortunately. But obviously we want most of all for him to be happy!

This sounds encouraging @PotteringAlong. What was it you loved about it?

Our state school didn’t push at all, my parents couldn’t easily afford it, but they got my sister tutors at A Level. I don’t think she necessarily needed them as she was / still is incredibly motivated, but it might have helped?

Our schools were utterly shite!

But she enjoyed university. She worked very hard even there, but did have fun too and met her now husband and her best friend and talks about her uni days fondly even though she was shocked at how “posh” everyone was

Look at the widening participation schemes for both. Sumner schools and schemes. It will be one choice out of five.
Can he change to a different sixth form?

Also - my sister’s maths tutor went to Cambridge, so I think he really helped coach her to get in. She was always going to get the top marks, but he helped her with interview prep, which our sixth form college would never have done (it was very poor).

My mother worked extra hours to pay for tutoring. I remember that well.

If I wanted a career in engineering I might not choose Oxbridge. But aside from that: self-motivated to dive deep into subject of choice, capable of independent thought, very bright indeed, genuinely loved reading. For maths my Db who went to a good comprehensive, was exceptionally bright, very lazy, nerdy, loved to read, would take apart and build computers for fun, hugely into coding (is now a software engineer), very articulate and argumentative. He was definitely NOT an all rounder, but was astonishing at anything science-related.

Please don’t push. Encourage broad horizons, encourage debate about his future, give him enough info to draw his own conclusions about what he should aim for. If he wants Oxbridge, great, but there are lots of fantastic engineering courses out there which may actually be closer to what he wants.

We're in Scotland @embracelife so there's no scope for changing schools. Plus oxbridge is even less likely to be on the school's radar as it's 'down south'. I applied to a scheme which encourages Scottish state school applications to Oxford but not heard anything back.

at this:

Back then, Oxbridge really only accepted private school kids.

No they didn’t! I went 20 years ago from a bottom-of-the pile comp. Of my large group of friends at Uni, over half went to state schools. Sorry, I just wanted to correct that.

At 15 I was the top at everything in my school (not a boast, just a fact). I worked very hard but also had a lot of interests, played two instruments, volunteered, did DofE, lots of work experience.

If his school isn’t interested in sending pupils to Oxbridge then I would gently suggest it to him and check it out yourselves so that you can help him if he wants to try. If he’s not that into it and it would be more for you than him then I wouldn’t encourage him tbh. It never ends well if it’s someone else’s dream.

DS was bloody minded. Below average comp, but seemed to think yeah why not?

He wore his abilities lightly - seemed to put no effort in (I was constantly nagging him to stop playing computer games). Yet was an intellectual magpie, reading anything and everything (as opposed to his actual school work, which seemed to happen by osmosis!)
Was also quite a normal teen - went to parties and had a girlfriend and worked a weekend job.

At 15? Scatterbrained, not in top sets for everything, hilarious, clumsy, anxious, an excellent mimic, surprisingly well read in some ways and at sea on others.

Not an obvious candidate and did not, to be honest, find the workload easy once there.

Thanks @lollylol. I totally agree with you - I don't want to push. He's a happy boy and motivated and engaged in lots of areas. And as you say, oxbridge may not be the best choice for an engineering course anyway! Thanks for the reminder of what's important.

I would also echo what @LollyLol said: I was very motivated to know everything about my subject of choice and make it my world - I absolutely adored it.

So interesting hearing all these different experiences. I agree @pattish - my only dream is for him to be fulfilled and happy. I'm happy for him to go anywhere but want to show him what's out there

I also don't have an Oxbridge child but was someone else's Oxbridge child.

At 15 I was working fairly hard for school but did in school extra curricular stuff like running the school talent show and other bits.

I did an extra GCSE in my spare time but used to go out and have fun as well... Probably started drinking at 15 I think.

I sailed through my GCSEs but didn't put enough work into some of them. I got a mixture of As and As and was bitterly bitterly disappointed in myself for not working harder to get straight As.

I'd wanted to go to Cambridge since I first visited - I must have been 9 I think? So GCSEs etc were all geared to Oxbridge. I actually struggled with the stress when I was there and I think I needed to have developed better coping strategies before I went.

I wonder about this - my 14yo dd attended a talk at school about applying and seems quite intrigued by the idea. I think her school has maybe 1 or 2 get offered places a year

I have no idea if she's capable or what to think about. She would want to do English but I wouldn't say she has a wide range of untreated - just loves reading and analysing books!

Mate of DS's is at Cambridge reading maths. I've not seen him lately as he was vulnerable during covid and he is not super sociable to not out drinking at holiday time, but he used to be here quite a bit when 14-15-16yo.

He is very very smart and very very keen on maths.He did everything maths related at school - all the various competitions that are available. I was once behind his parents at parents eve and the maths teacher was in ecstasies about him. My ds was pretty good at maths (did A level and got a B) but his mate was amazing.

He is a good all-rounder and his GCSE results were excellent (lat time they did actual exams) tho DS was delighted to beat him in something (Eng lang I think so mate got at least one grade 6, certainly not all grade 9s). He was especially good at science and maths rather than english or MFL. His family are very driven and hard-working and principled. He has hobbies (keen on a specific sport) but didn't go out and get drunk. He was very very knowledgable about specific things - I recall once driving them somewhere for a party and he knew all about the railway stations in the area.

At A level DS told me a story of an exam (in yr 12) that was so hard that some people got 6/95; one person scored 0. DS got 48 or similar; his mate got 93.

It was so so clear always that he would go to Oxford or Cambridge to study maths. I imagine he is loving the challenge and focus.

Not sure if this is helpful to you OP. I would say that if a child is keen on Oxford or Cambridge, they need to be very driven and motivated as it is a very tough selection process (I know a few people who were interviewed and then did not get an offer and some were quite demoralised about it).

If you're in Scotland and your DS is considering engineering, has been looked at Scottish University options in that subject? There are some excellent ones and Oxbridge may not be the best fit, as others have said. Also there is the free tuition to consider.

Why is changing school not an option? Are you very rural?

Do Oxbridge - or any other universities - offer access courses for pupils considering STEM degrees (apols probably wrong wording but you know what I mean)? To give him a flavour of what his options might be, in terms of courses and location.

At 15, he had friends, outdoor interests, Scouts, D of E, a succession of part time jobs. V. bright all rounder at school but preferred sciences. He was carefree, had no thoughts at all on university, degrees, career, or which university. Oxbridge didn't occur to any of us until his last year at school when UCAS application raised its head.

Your little egg hasn't finished incubating yet, don't rush him.

@boobashka it was just my niche. I made friends who are still my best friend now, almost 25 years later. I found my tribe.

And I went from a bog standard comp in the midlands

Looking back, DS was extremely interested in the subjects he now studies. He was reading key texts that were not on GCSE syllabus in one subject and just reading widely in the other as his school didn't teach it. He had a massive knowledge about both subjects and a passion for them. For Christmas and birthdays his present list was 50% books on these subjects.

He was very driven to work hard and get As, but also had a good, strong social life and was involved in lots of school societies with lots of pretty time consuming extra curricular commitments which he managed easily. He's always been very driven. I don't think I ever had to tell him to do homework or music practise. He was always ahead of me.

We're not rural @Chatwin but all the other local High schools are much of a muchness so no advantage in changing schools. Yes, we'd benefit from the free tuition in Scotland so it would be an easy decision to study in Scotland. I just want to keep his options open

If he’s capable of getting the highest possible grades in his Highers then he’s capable of an Oxbridge degree. I went to Cambridge from an average Scottish state school in 1992. I was the joint first with another girl in my school, to get in though one girl had gone to Oxford a couple of years previously. I was just an average academically bright teenager. Went to Guides and did a bit of horse riding, had a Saturday job in a pharmacy, but nothing spectacular on my CV. I did get As across the board in both arts and science subjects (that was the top mark, no A* available) and I guess at 15 I was doing my Standard Grades and coming in the top 5 in the class on prelim marks in all my subjects. I don’t remember finding school exams very difficult. I probably benefitted from not being over-prepared for the interview and knowing I could fall back on offers from Edinburgh, Glasgow and Strathclyde (they were all unconditional after 5 Highers, my Cambridge offer required me to get a certain grade in 2x CSYS subjects). I was fairly relaxed and just thought “nothing ventured”. I did spend a lot of time researching colleges, but in the end I was rejected by my first choice and then called back for a second interview by a college I had previously discounted. I absolutely loved Cambridge, it was the making of me. There were loads of state school kids there in the 90s. My degree was in French and Spanish. I’d not studied Spanish at school as not offered but had done a Standard Grade at night school.