Fed up with bossy people

[Aquabeachtowel]

I grew up with a very bossy older sister and generally find it hard to be told what to do. I am fine if there is a reason like at work or if I have asked for instructions but I am fed up with unsolicited bossy input from people.

None of these are a big deal, just things that irritate me. Told a friend about getting my dining room redecorated. She then goes on and on about how I should do it myself and trying to give me instructions on how to do it. Fair enough if I had asked, but I didn’t! I just replied that I didn’t want to do it myself. She seemed to take offence to this which is odd. Does she assume I will agree?

A friend of mine recently had a baby so I bought some cute babygros. This was during a break at work so a colleague asked to see what I had bought and I was happy to show. She then proceeded to tell me that I should have bought something for the mum instead!

The thing that annoys me is that I often think “that’s not what I would do” with friends but I keep it to myself unless asked. I tend to think my adult friends know their own minds and don’t need to be told.

Why are some people so bloody bossy!???

It irritates the hell out of me too. It’s like they think only their opinions/thoughts/ideas are valid. It feels like they have a huge sense of self-importance and you end up not sharing things with them in the end because you know they will end up telling you how to do it, and how their way is so much better. I avoid bossy people as much as possible these days.

I grew up with a very bossy/controlling mother and I felt like I couldn’t breath at times. The worst was when I’d already decided to do something and she would then tell me to do it and then claim the only reason I’d done it was because she’d told me. I remember her calling me to ask how my blood test had gone and when I’d get the results and then as the phone call was ending she just had to tell me “make sure you phone up for the results” yeah cos I’d make the effort to get the blood test but not bother with the results .

Agree with pp about self importance - it makes them feel special telling others what to do. I also don’t mention much about what I’m doing and life feels calmer without the interfering and grief from others when I do my own thing.

It's the assumption I won't have thought of things that annoys me, rather than suggestions made a bit forcefully. Quite an inflated sense of personal capability and insight.

@DrunkenKoala yes I am beginning to get that way with this friend. I have stopped telling her things as the bossiness is soooo annoying. It’s sad really as it makes the friendship a bit surface level. Some people just can’t have conversation without giving you instructions!

I also grew up with a (very) bossy older sister and I also find unsolicited advice really annoying. I married an oldest child, and he is just as bad!

@Aquabeachtowel

I grew up with a very bossy older sister and generally find it hard to be told what to do. I am fine if there is a reason like at work or if I have asked for instructions but I am fed up with unsolicited bossy input from people.

None of these are a big deal, just things that irritate me. Told a friend about getting my dining room redecorated. She then goes on and on about how I should do it myself and trying to give me instructions on how to do it. Fair enough if I had asked, but I didn’t! I just replied that I didn’t want to do it myself. She seemed to take offence to this which is odd. Does she assume I will agree?

A friend of mine recently had a baby so I bought some cute babygros. This was during a break at work so a colleague asked to see what I had bought and I was happy to show. She then proceeded to tell me that I should have bought something for the mum instead!

The thing that annoys me is that I often think “that’s not what I would do” with friends but I keep it to myself unless asked. I tend to think my adult friends know their own minds and don’t need to be told.

Why are some people so bloody bossy!???

Sometimes and I could be wrong, but some times people have different perspectives of what they would do, and rather than just seeming bossy, they discuss their perspectives but sometimes the way it can come across is if it's them saying person a should of done x instead of y etc

Oh, how annoying! I loved getting little baby clothes when I was expecting DS. Not everyone is the same! You didn't need telling what you should do/ should have done in either of those situations! I get it. It happens to me sometimes and it makes me feel small. I'm working on being assertive enough to answer back and put them in their place, but it's not in my nature.

I've noticed it coming from men, mainly middle aged men. They seem to think I want their unsolicited opinion on random stuff when out and about.

Dh is quite bossy at times. I've had to crack down on him. Me and ds2 gang up on him and he generally backs down.

Yes, it can be very annoying. I've found that saying 'who made you the boss of me?' has proved an ideal way of pulling them up on such behaviour.

I once bought tiny cowboy boots for my baby niece and the cashier told me off for buying something so frivolous 😂

@Hawkins001 yeah I get that. I try hard not to jump to thinking people are bossy as I know I can be over sensitive to it.

With the decorating thing if my friend had told me about a room she decorated recently then I would get it. It was the fact she just says “you should do it yourself “ and then starts with instruction. It’s always unsolicited advice rather than sharing an experience. She thinks I am her project to improve!

She also gets bossy with my kids as well. For example obsessing with my daughters hair and trying to do it a certain way. My daughter just stares at her like she’s mad!

I think I just find it jarring as I really hate telling people what to do. I don’t know why some people are so obsessed with bossing others about.

Yes didactic people are a strain. I detest unsolicited advice.