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Original poster

Holidays/time off while working for a bully

47 replies

SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:06

I wrote a post last week or the week before about working for a bully. I will be making changes getting out from that job. That won't happen over night though.

The last time I was allowed a week off was back in 2019. I wasn't allowed holidays since then. I only had one week off. I know this is against employment laws and it should be 4 weeks per annum.

I remember asking for holidays in early spring of 2020 for a week holiday in August and the hullabaloo that was made by my boss was incredible. She felt hard done by, allowing me a week off. The face on her, was incredible at the time. She begrudgingly gave me the week off.

Then the pandemic hit and the world changed and my holiday was cancelled. I because I didn't get on a plane to fly away anywhere, I was made to go to work. I worked all throughout 2020 and 2021 without any time off.

I hate it.

I have an important event coming up in June now. It's not a holiday exactly but it is important to me and I would like to get a week off.

How will I go about this. I know if I was to ask for a week off I will be denied or it will be begrudgingly given. I know if I was to go to work that week, she will likely see the important event and work me into the ground from morning time til night time. Being made to work for 12+hours can be regular from the boss. She doesn't think twice about having me in from 8 am in the morning and there I am still working at 8 or 9 or 10 or 11 at night.

I do have an important event coming up in June and it's so important for me. If I continue to work I will likely miss it because my boss will work me into the ground. If I book time off, it may be begrudgingly given. Maybe but more than likely some excuses will be found.

I'm thinking about goitto my GP and getting signed off from work. What can I say to get signed out from work for a week? Do I pretend to be sick or have back ache to get time off? Or will I be honest and maybe say depression or work stress?

OP posts:
ChickenGotLegs · 14/04/2022 13:14

Can you not find a new job? That sounds totally ridiculous that your not allowed time off.

Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:14

I have family coming home from abroad. They live so far away. We haven't seen each other in years because of the pandemic. I am anxious that if I go into work, I would be lucky if I was to get an evening off to spend time with my family.

I think it's so important. They are coming from miles away and I would like time off.

I work in residential care. I have a contract that doesn't mean shit. My original contract stated the hours between 8am and 6pm. I have to rely on the boss to come in and relieve me of my days work. Quote often I get stuck for hours of overtime which is always unpaid. Golf and her social activities are usually more important to her instead of coming into the establishment so it might be 8 or 9 or 10 or 11 by the time I finish. That's often all week long. It's draining.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/04/2022 13:14

I would book 2 weeks off and if it's not given her signed off with stress.

Look into how to report them for breaking the law.

Angry
RandomMess · 14/04/2022 13:15

Don't tell her why you need the time off just that you are going on holiday and you haven't had any leave for x years which is illegal.

Thanks
Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:15

It's written down on paper in my contract that I am allowed time off but that's it's never fulfilled.

I am looking for new work. It's not going to happen overnight.

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 14/04/2022 13:17

The contract doesnt matter if they are breaking the law - the law is bigger than the contract. Is this a big carers organisation? If yes, go to HR in that as a start.

Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:17

@RandomMess

Don't tell her why you need the time off just that you are going on holiday and you haven't had any leave for x years which is illegal.

Thanks

I learned a few years ago to get any time off I need to physically leave the country because if I remain in the country she tries to grab a hold of me.
OP posts:
MrsWidgerysLodger · 14/04/2022 13:18

You really need to speak to ACAS about the situation long term. Short term I think you just have to either put in your leave and remind her it's your legal right to take it or get signed off with stress!
If you've been there for two years or more you have some additional protection regarding unfair dismissal etc.

Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:19

@TheDaydreamBelievers

The contract doesnt matter if they are breaking the law - the law is bigger than the contract. Is this a big carers organisation? If yes, go to HR in that as a start.
It's a smaller carers association. There's no HR department.
OP posts:
MrsWidgerysLodger · 14/04/2022 13:19

Also if you're not being paid for the overtime you're working make sure you calculate what this works out to as an hourly rate when you take into account the extra hours. It may well be she's paying you under NMW too.

mudgetastic · 14/04/2022 13:21

What exactly do you think the consequences of taking leave will be?

Her face tripping her, her getting upset and angry are not reasons for you not to take the leave. Does she actually refuse or do yo just give in for a quiet life? It's not clear

She tries to grab you - physically? Call the police . Otherwise - Block her number whilst on leave

IncompleteSenten · 14/04/2022 13:22

You need to report her. What she is doing is illegal

ZealAndArdour · 14/04/2022 13:23

What happens at the end of the year when you’ve not been allowed to take your annual leave? Do you get paid the money equivalent instead?

This is all so fucking illegal, but it seems you’re not ready to tackle that!

shuckleberryfinn · 14/04/2022 13:24

do thoseextra hours mean youre earning less than minimum wage for all the hours you actually work? you're entitled to 28 (ithink) days paid leave, the business can decide when you take them but must allow them to be taken.

you may want to talk to acas an/or a union (if you dont have one you can look into joining if you choose.

what you do now probably hinges on how much you can stomach a fight. you have the option to work only your days and hours and ignore any communication outside of work hours but it is up to you.
your boss does not own you, you owe them nothing.

Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:32

I don't get paid any holiday money at the end of the year.

I get paid a set wage whether I work 40 hours or 60 or 70 hours. I was never paid over time according to time and half hours. Sometimes my boss my give me an extra 50 in cash in hand but that would be the most. It's not according to time and half laws.

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 14/04/2022 13:33

You don't have to put up with this. There's lots of jobs in the care sector so you should easily be able to get another one.

Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:34

Currently, I have something important coming my way in June and that's all I care about. I want to spend time with my family when they come home. I know if I was to ask for time off excuses will be found to deny me the time and I will be told off to take it another time. I am anxious if go into work, I won't be allowed to be away on time and so I will be lucky if I get to spend one day with my family when they travel across the world home.

OP posts:
Original poster
SummersBreeze · 14/04/2022 13:35

My bosses golf and dinner parties will be more important than allowing me to finish on time so that I can see my family.

OP posts:
Persephonegoddess · 14/04/2022 13:37

Your boss is breaking a number of employment laws, document all you have written here then go to an employment solicitor and get proper advice.

Motnight · 14/04/2022 13:38

Op I know how hard it is working for a bully.

But you need to woman up, take your annual leave, and stop working ridiculous amounts of overtime.

Genuinely, what is the worst that could happen?

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 14/04/2022 13:38

You need to stand up for yourself.

She isn't physically coming to your home and dragging you to work is she?

So when you say you're forced to work if you're not out of the country, you mean she calls and asks you to work and you say yes. You need to say no. It might not be a nice conversation but the end result needs to be you saying no.

So put in your request for leave, ignore any upset facial expressions, if she says no remind her you have a legal entitlement to annual leave that she hasn't fulfilled for the last 2 years and that she's also neglected to pay you for the leave you accrued but weren't allowed to take.

Lollypop701 · 14/04/2022 13:38

You are owed holidays pay too. Honestly I’d get legal advice and make sure you get paid what you are owed. In addition carers jobs are very available

needmorethanthis · 14/04/2022 13:40

Does your boss have a boss?

user1471538283 · 14/04/2022 13:40

Tell her you are taking two weeks leave. She cannot deny you leave.

From now on when your shift ends you leave work. If she isnt there to relieve you then that is her problem.

If she refuses you leave then go off sick. It sounds as if it is making you unwell anyway.

She is using you.

needmorethanthis · 14/04/2022 13:40

Who is the ultimate person in charge?