Dd3 teeth are terrible

[blackheartsgirl]

I honestly don’t need any judgemental comments, I feel terrible enough as it is.

Dd3 is 11 and I’ve always had trouble getting her to brush her teeth. I’ve always took her to the dentist and tried to instill good oral hygiene into her but she struggles. Her bio dad has terrible tooth decay and refused to brush his teeth for years resulting in him losing every single teeth bar 4 by the time he was 30. He also tells dd she doesn’t have to brush her teeth if she doesn’t want to and definitely does not encourage her when at his.

At home, she will put the tooth brush in her mouth for a few seconds and then heaves and gags (her bio dad also has this reflex) and often point blank refuses to brush at all. She is an anxious child anyway, a fussy eater some days I’m just grateful she eats anything at all and is grieving the loss of her stepdad, my husband who died last year.

I took her to the dentist this morning and it turns out that she has bad tooth decay and is going to have to have one of her adult teeth out. I’m horrified tbh and I’ve gone out and bought an electric tooth brush, her own tooth brush, and some disclosing tablets. The dentist explained to her that she has to take some responsibility for her own tooth cleaning but she really didn’t take it in..we’re home…and she’s really upset and refusing to even think about using the tooth brush…help where do I go from here.. I need some advice please.

Own tooth paste that should say lol. She doesn’t share a toothbrush with anyone else

Anyone

Electric toothbrush isn’t the answer. A small baby/child size ordinary toothbrush will reach right at the back of a child’s mouth to clean effectively.

That sounds really tough op. Don’t beat yourself up it sounds like you are trying your best. Tooth strength is also partly about genetics (though of course regular brushing helps massively). Have you spoken to the gp about the sensory issues she has brushing her teeth? Could you try to start her just using a mouth wash twice a day and move on to a super soft baby toothbrush?

OP it sounds like sensory issues potentially. My autistic 10 year old hates brushing his teeth but it’s non negotiable. He doesn’t get his iPad if he doesn’t brush his teeth and is not allowed to play with his friends outside if he doesn’t. However he picks the toothbrush (he has al electric one and tooth paste). I would show her images of tooth decay in woman, talk to her about the level of pain lots of tooth decay involves and other peoples impression of her if she doesn’t brush. We reiterate this daily. How often is she with her dad? He is neglecting her effectively by failing to enforce teeth brushing so please try make sure she brushes before she goes to dads and straighten after she comes home.

Maybe offer her a couple of types of brush, eg electric, baby brush, one of those semi circle ones on the proviso she has to try and use.

Can you get to the bottom of why she doesn't like cleaning her teeth? Is it because she gags? Doesn't like mint toothpaste? Is it painful? I think a kind conversation is the best way forward. Base your next steps in what she says - smaller toothbrush, tooth brushing reminders on her phone, fruit rather than mint toothpaste...

At this age she's got to want to do it herself rather than have you forcing her, particularly if her dad isn't going to any help in reminding her.

Have a look at Curaprox. They do amazing brushes in fun colours, and different levels of softness too. They also have interesting flavours for toothpaste. Since I started using their brushes my teeth feel completely different, I’m obsessed!

Has she got sensory issues?
If yes then could you bring her to an occupational therapist to help with this? One or two sessions could change her life.

My son had to get one of his adult teeth out when getting his brace and he has been taking great care of his teeth ever since. Sorry you are goi no through this. All the best to you.

The dentist recommended the electric tooth brush tbh, so I thought I was doing the right thing. I will certainly try the baby tooth brush though thank you.

I did explain about her dads teeth problems and the dentist was very dismissive about tooth strength being heriditary (I’ve read the same as well) my dd2 who shares the same dad also has had decay problems but she is very good at brushing her teeth and she is keeping the decay at bay, she’s nowhere near as bad as dd3.

My first 2 children ds and dd1 have a different dad and their teeth are perfect

Thank you, I honestly thought I’d get flamed or something. She doesn’t mind the mint (she never used to but she got over that) it’s literally that she gags when the brush goes in her mouth.

She does have some sensory issues yes. The dentist really did sit and explain to her about what tooth decay looks like, how it can affect your appearance and life and the pain. She’s been in a lot of pain on and off but seems to be willing to put up with it as long as a tooth brush doesn’t have to go near her mouth

What about a silicone finger brush? My DD finds these better sensory wise than a normal toothbrush.

Oo I’ve never heard of a silicone finger brush. I’ll have a google thanks

Is electric brush small enough for her? My DD was told that it’s better to use small ( soft) toothbrush for younger age rather then electric toothbrush which is too big for her. Also DD was at some point prescribed special toothpaste which’s got extra fluoride and was advised to leave the toothpaste at night not to rinse. She has additional needs and wasn’t particularly good at brushing her teeth. So our dentist advised us to brush DD’s teeth every other day at night time at this age to make sure that it’s done properly.

I know hope hard it OSS with sensory issues, my DN has had to have silver caps put on his back teeth and Needs three teeth removing.

What's helped us. There is a Bluetooth app device that you can get that goes on the base of your toothbrush. This makes tooth bruising a game and gives you scores. I think it's by Colgate. Xylitol chewing gum 3-4 times a day after eating To try and flush food away and reduce bacteria ( they can't eat xylitol). Reduce sugar in everything. No chocolate etc unless she brushes her teeth. You can also get Xylitol wipes for the teeth. I would even suggest some of the mouth wash in the brown bottle that kills bacteria. Even 1-2 of these things has got to help? Also look into a a sensory diet to reduce gag reflex/oral sensitivity. This will help to get her mouth and throat muscles working and reduce the gag.

Also try her with the tooth brush but just cleaning the external surface of her teeth with her mouth closed.

If she uses the electric brush make sure she uses it correctly and not like a manual one.

Would she try a water flosser?

Would a brush like this help?
www.fledglings.org.uk/products/collis-curve-toothbrush?variant=7379346096164&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjN-SBhCkARIsACsrBz4-HJwRd_gIH8apIkYjHgXwk_ypkEB8ZgVGFXY-pzLFbVIGwyjj9SgaAmMAEALw_wcB

Does your DD like cheese? My dentist always tells us that we should eat a small cube of cheese every time we eat anything sweet as it neutralises the sugars.

I’m autistic and brushing my teeth has always been horrific. Even now I’ll admit I do it once a day because it’s distressing, and I’m paying the price in terms of needing dental work done.

I use a super soft toothbrush with a small head and I HATE mint, so I use strawberry toothpaste and kids fruity mouthwash. Even then, it makes me gag and cry pretty much every time

I had terrible teeth in my teens and abscesses and only really got good oral hygiene from aged 23+. I think I'm probably autistic (my children are) but either way I definitely have sensory issues. I wouldn't have said I hated it but I avoided teeth brushing/ flossing to some degree and had bad eating habits when younger.

Now as an adult I have a favourite electric tooth brush head, favourite floss and a favourite toothpaste (I find sensodyne enamel care ones taste best). If I use alternatives it's a bit nails on a chalk board. I use mouth wash 2x a day too. Floss is very necessary for my teeth or I get trapped food despite brushing.

So money allowing I would get her to try a range of products and buy her favourites. Now I get sensory issues if I have 'dirty' teeth. Remind her if she forgets but it's a little out of your control once she gets to a certain age.

Does she do well with rewards incentives and a visual representation of the two minutes? Not as bad but my dss hates his teeth being brushed so we have a sand timer and a two minute long song and then he gets a reward at the end. We also do it a bit before bedtime so he doesn't feel too pressured. Maybe break it up into two one minute segments with a break in the middle? Also see if you can get extra flouride toothpaste prescribed.

If she has decay, does it hurt when she brushes, meaning she's just stuck in a cycle of pain?

So no brushing = sore teeth, but brushing also = sore teeth, so in her mind it's easier not to brush as her teeth hurt anyway?

If she appears to have sensory issues and perhaps other additional needs then I woukd highly recommend asking your GP for a referral the to the Special Dentist. I have an 11 year old with ASD and sensory issues including extreme issues with teeth cleaning. I have tried and tried and tried and a few weeks we finally got (via the GP) a referral to the Special dentist who are used to people with disabilities and the differnece was like day and night. DS had his teeth properly cleaned and a filling and was fine about it. Total game changer.