My Ds is 16. He is a lovely boy, very sociable and personable. He is in his first year of A Levels. He did okay in his GCSE's but did not achieve what he is capable of, mainly down to a lack of revision or drive to do well.
He moved school for A Levels and started really well. He has a great peer group who are all high achievers. He has an AS level exam coming up and is on the verge of failing.
He has no real desire to do well at anything. He is naturally able so lots of things come easily to him but if anything requires a level of effort to get better he just doesn't bother. If it's something he enjoys then it's fine i.e. he'll play his sport until he's blue in the face. However, the moment he needs to improve something specific such as his strength he just won't bother.
His bedroom is generally a tip. It smells and I often find old food/wrappers/containers lying around. I ask him to do it but it never really gets done and things just get hidden rather than done properly.
He also lies - he tells me he has done things but then won't actually have done them. Or he'll say everything is going really well at school then I'll find out at parents evening that he's failed a test or not been handing his work in. This happens over and over again. He just doesn't seem to care and nothing changes whatever approach I take.
He has a part-time job which he does really well at. However, he would never think to make sure his uniform is clean and ready. In fact he'd just go with it dirty and think that is acceptable.
It is really starting to affect how I interact with him as I am just constantly frustrated by his lack of planning or care and attention. He does nothing unless it gives him some level of instant gratification. Anything else is a battle. He says that he wants to go off after A levels and do camp America and then another seasonal job. However, unless I push for him to start thinking about things it just won't get done.
I know he needs to make his own mistakes and I am much better at letting things go. However, there is a consequence to this and that is I am disappointed and frustrated in him and it shows in how I act towards him.
Has anyone else dealt with this? How did it work out?
Thanks