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I've been offered a lift for a 200m journey - want to do about "petrol money"

57 replies

OctopusSay · 14/04/2022 07:20

Friends (a couple) have offered me a lift to an event. They're, obviously, going anyway, but I'm grateful I won't have to do the journey alone or take my car.

They're fairly well off and very generous. It can be a struggle to get them to let me buy them a drink. At one point I had to say "look if you don't let me pay my way, I'll have to stop coming out".e.g. The husband is quite a big drinker and very generous, so by the time I'm half way through my drink, he's back at the bar bringing back the next round, but wife is just as bad if we're out for coffee, even when I think she's agreed I can pay she'll nip in with her contact less card! If we're out for dinner he'll lay the bill for the whole group without telling anyone.

Anyway I know if I offer fuel money they'll say no, but I still feel I should do something.

So how much do I offer? Buy their breakfast? Pay for hotel parking? (Which I think will be quite expensive). Try harder to buy more than my share of drinks? Just offer a sum of cash? How much?

I know it's ridiculous, but I can't see a way they'll let me contribute and yet I feel uncomfortable not doing. I know it roots from a place of kindness, his business has done unexpectedly well during covid - it was a business that should have "died" but he's managed to diversify in some brilliant ways so it's thrived and they want to share their good fortune. They're not at all braggy about it. Also DH died and they think I'm down on my luck, but I have a decent job of my own, I'm OK (financially), but really appreciate their friendship and the way they've looked out for me since he died.

Anyway what do I offer? If it makes a difference it's a fully electric car - the expensive one with the long range!

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 14/04/2022 16:32

Personally I'd just accept their generosity. Always offer to pay, but if they're that insistant, I'd just leave them to it!

However, if it makes you that uncomfortable, then you need to tell them. Something like "You're both absolutely lovely people, and your generosity is part of the reason why. However, personally it makes me very uncomfortable when I'm not allowed to pay my own way, so please, take the petrol money, let me get a round in down the pub etc."

If they really are lovely people, they'll listen to you. If they don't, then they're flash bastards who like flaunting how loaded they are, so stop feeling guilty about them paying for everything!

Daphnedot · 14/04/2022 17:35

Take some lovely tasty treats for the journey

dipdye · 14/04/2022 17:37

Well this is gonna complicate a lot of lives now isn't it? What to do about lifts in electric cars???

🤔

Hatinafield · 14/04/2022 17:52

It’s not just petrol that costs! Running the car, insuring the car, charging the car….

modgepodge · 14/04/2022 18:00

*Another who also thought the same.

I'm also thinking I'm being a bit thick here but people keep suggesting petrol money or paying - but I didn't think electric cars used petrol?*

They don’t. I think ‘petrol money’ is a turn of phrase really, if people drive a diesel car I think we still say petrol money. I’ve never heard anyone off diesel money.

Is it 100m each way or 200m each way OP? I’m not sure if you have realise how cheap electricity is for home charging (compared to petrol)…if it’s 100m each way they’ll do it all on home charging, that would cost me about £6-7 I think. If they have to top up on route as it’s 400m round trip it probably won’t be more than £10-15 to put in enough to get home if they have a long range car on top of the £6-7 home charging.

Kezzie200 · 14/04/2022 18:01

Offer to pay. They say no. Buy them a very nice bottle of wine circa £15.

If I was going somewhere and offered a lift I'd not want anything if I was going anyway but I would appreciate the offer to pay.

Blossomtoes · 14/04/2022 18:11

@Hatinafield

It’s not just petrol that costs! Running the car, insuring the car, charging the car….
They’re going anyway. 🙄
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