Weird question borne from a very weird conversation I had with a friend - we were discussing a friend who recently married a man who wasn't really what people would have expected her to choose, and we got onto the topic of "settling" - I said it seemed like quite a sad thing to me, and my friend said "but it worked out really well for you."
Before anyone jumps up to say that my friend sounds like a bitch, I want to flag that she's probably ND in some way and often phrases things oddly - I am 100% confident that it didn't occur to her that this could be offensive and she's not a nasty person, just to head that whole argument off.
I don't think I settled, though I see how my friend might see it like that. My BF before my husband was very rich, in a high-powered job, and very good looking. My husband is from a WC background, works a good job but will never make a fortune or set the world on fire, and while I think he's beautiful he's not model gorgeous. My ex, however, was a dick (though he hid it super well) and my husband is the best man I've ever met. I absolutely did not settle.
Is that a thing that people do though? I can definitely imagine scenarios for myself in which it could have happened - I always wanted children, and might have chosen to marry because I wanted a family, even if it wasn't fairytale love, but I don't know if it would have been a conscious choice? Do people who "settled" only realise it afterwards, or do they know it when it's happening?