If you met your DH/ DP in your 30s, when did you tell other people about them?

[Im30goingon13]

I know this is a really ridiculous question but I don’t know where else to ask.

I am 32 and I’ve never had a boyfriend/ partner before. I have been on dates but would only tell a few close friends as a safety thing.

I am so nervous about it all. My mum will be over the moon but will be like a dog with a bone to meet him etc.

I don’t know what’s normal and no one ever asks me about my dating life so it would be out of the blue.

We are going to a wedding together in July and I was genuinely thinking about just posting a photo on FB? Is that cringey?

When did you meet him?

How long have you been together?

How long have you been seeing him?

We met just before Christmas.

A good friend basically did the photo on Facebook thing its no big deal.
Would he be happy to meet your mum?

I wouldn’t put a pic on Facebook before telling your mum if you’re close which it sounds like you are. She’ll be hurt. I would tell her now but just say it’s early days and she’ll meet him when you’re ready.

I’d tell her about now just drop it into conversation otherwise it’s going to end up being a huge deal. I don’t think announcing with a Facebook photo at a wedding is very nice for your DM.

I think after about six months?

I only tell family about boyfriend’s when exclusivity and commitment has been established. I would tell my parents nicknames for the men I was dating. My OH still gets called that by my parents now

Are you publicly boyfriend and girlfriend? Not going to the wedding as ‘friends’? I think if the relationship has been defined and you are making plans then you are fine to tell families.

Don’t be like my friend who took the guy she was ‘seeing’ for 8 months to a massive family party for him to ghost a week later

I'd think it depends on the type of relationship you have with your DM/friends and how the relationship seems to be going.
My best friends knew all about my dating life and more casual partners but I wouldn't tell my mum about someone I was shagging not seeing as a long term prospect.
I agree with pp that your mum shouldn't find out from a FB post though, and would go with the "I'm seeing someone, it's early days but you can meet him when I/we feel ready".

I had a few dates who were only ever referred to as 'a friend'.

We were dating about 6/7 mths when we were planning a holiday together. And we visited each others parents at that point.

It just seemed right incase one of us ended up in hospital or something, irrational fear but hey ho!

For me when I was almost 30 it was about 3 months after meeting him but I wasn’t going to tell them then, but it was just before bonfire night, and someone saw us at a display and mentioned it to my DM. So I had to tell her about him. Didn’t marry him ended up seeing for 2 years though.

I was in my late 20 when I started dating DP. Similiar to you had never really had a proper boyfriend. My mum copped it when I said I was going to a sports event ( unusual for me) and asked about him.
Could you casually drop it into conversation. Oh this weekend I'm going to do y with x and let her ask follow up questions.

I wouldn’t post a photo on FB, with parents I’d just say you’re seeing someone, keep it light, you like him etc and leave it there.

My mum at that age asked me loads of questions about my love life, tried to set me up with friends sons etc but apart from a few relationships before I was late 20s I was happy having fun —shagging around—

Would he be happy to meet your mum?

Yes but he doesn’t know what he’d be getting himself into

Don’t be like my friend who took the guy she was ‘seeing’ for 8 months to a massive family party for him to ghost a week later
Poor girl. I do feel like I’m jinxing it.

I am dreading telling my mum. She’ll be so over the top.