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Feel so low

1 reply

52andblue · 13/04/2022 10:28

I just cried on the phone to the DWP. I feel so bloody low.

I have 2 children (now teens). Both are Autistic. Both also have SEN.

I used to be in receipt of ESA. Then I got a job. NHS. Full time, good prospects as included University course too. I tried SO SO SO HARD. I'm physically disabled myself. It was just too much (mostly as zero concessions were made for my disablity despite being in the contract but that is another story). Eventually my GP signed me off & I was 'let go'. It was for the best as it was not right for my kids either re support levels: they both receive DLA at sufficient level for Carers allowance & on the advice of the CAB I now live on that (£67 p/w, topped up by some income support). I hate it. I want to work. but they won't 'grow out of' being Autistic & we need to eat so it is what it is (reviewed every 2 years so god knows what then but I can't think about that)

Today I got a letter out of the blue from the DWP Debt Management Dept. say I owe £643.51. No explaination what for. I cried.
Eventually I got through on the phone & was informed it is an overpayment of ESA from 2018. I cried. The person I spoke to was kind but cannot change the debt or my sense of being trapped by it.

I just needed to post this as I have no one else I can tell really. I am not asking for help (or sympathy) I just needed to say it so that I'm not crying when kids emerge for porridge (hot brekkie helps in cold house, Easter hols here so warm bed for as long as possible a good idea!)

I saw the Newspaper headlines on my phone earlier.
If I wasn't so tired & scared I'd feel angry. Those who can't work are trapped, those who can are also often strugglng / tired /broke too.
(tho, I'm grateful I am not in the Ukraine / any other war zone of course)

OP posts:
52andblue · 13/04/2022 10:55

I should clarify - I think the reasons the headlines re partygate got to me in respect of this in particular is:

when I asked hte DWP why I am still paying this back (I remember the overpayment amount from that time - I was not claiming incorrectly but because I went from one situation to another & back again quite quickly it took the DWP time to catch up so I was wrongly paid a bit).

I was told that there was a pause in repayments 'due to Covid' so it will now take until May 2023 to repay (as I don't have a spare £600).
Now I agree it is generally correct that the DWP adjusted things due to Covid (though for me it just means repaying now when all my other costs are so much higher due to energy crisis etc).
But when the PM etc didn't alter his behaviour, & £50 is the price of a couple of cocktails to him, it's pretty galling.

OK. Pity party over.

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