No more ‘SEN’!

[LookAroundYou]

Please can people stop using the term ‘SEN’. People are not SEN, they have Conditions or disabilities that mean they Have educational needs different to ‘the norm’. Also a blind person is going to have different needs to a dyslexic and lumping different support needs into one big Category is not helpful and just enforces Sigma against disability and neurological differences.
I am also fed up of seeing the The term being used as a euphemism for ‘Autism’. Is it really that difficult to just say the word; or neurodiverse (if talking about more then one condition).
I just wish people would stop talking about us (usually in a passive negatively tone) in language that is really dangerous for us.
Unless specifically talking about different needs in an education setting, please can we try and refrain from ‘SEN’ (the correct phase being SEND) and if we are talking about autism, to just say the word.

Kind regards
A very exasperated ‘SEN’ Neurodivergent MNer

@Titsflyingsouth

I take your point, Op but tbh most parents of kids with disabilities are fighting bigger battles - trying to get their kid's assessed, fighting for EHCPs, fighting for DLA, struggling to find appropriate school settings etc. Honestly, I'm too exhausted to worry about it most of the time. I pick my battles and arguing over the semantics is not high on the priority list.

This. I have 'played the game' with LA & NHS for so bloody long... NOW the only time I pay attention to specific language is if my now teens with SN (Autism) & SEN (dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia) say so ie I take their lead in how / if they wish to describe their lifelong neurological differences which, due to societal structure, are disabilities.

I prefer additional needs, personally. The special bit has become contorted, and in some places 'special' has become an insult or a bullying term.

Additional needs also makes it clear that the person retains the same needs as everyone else, but they also have others.

However, I don't police the terms that patents of those children chose to use.

@AHungryCaterpillar I think it depends. I taught children with autism in a special school setting for several decades. Some I would say were disabled by their autism, and others were not.
You know whether that's the case for your child, and no-one should be policing you. As long as you don't call someone else's child disabled where their autism doesn't significantly disable them, you're fine.

I tend to agree with a person who is SEN rather than a person with SEN. However I'm an autistic and would refer to myself as such. I don't see the issue, both my adult children would use the same, including the one who says they're a dyslexic.

[quote saraclara]@AHungryCaterpillar I think it depends. I taught children with autism in a special school setting for several decades. Some I would say were disabled by their autism, and others were not.
You know whether that's the case for your child, and no-one should be policing you. As long as you don't call someone else's child disabled where their autism doesn't significantly disable them, you're fine.[/quote]
Yes of course I just wondered if it was an acceptable term to use but most said it wasn’t and got very offended at the question. I use to tell people she is autistic but found people would be rude about it, someone said to me they are sick of people using “ that excuse” or people roll their eyes etc so I wanted to be more careful about what I tell people and not give out too much information to strangers. I do see my daughters autism as a disability and I’ve found that I get more understanding when I explain she is disabled rather than saying she is autistic.

Different parents will use different terminology. Ask 5 parents of children diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder how they describe their child and you’ll get 5 different answers.
You do what you like, but please don’t try to ‘police’ terminology.

My child has autism @AHungryCaterpillar and is extremely disabled by it he's non verbal at a special school etc etc ,to get a diagnosis you have to meet the Triad of impairment, s so by definition it is a disability, however many people may not feel disabled by their autism ,and its up to them how they feel
It is not up to them however to say nobody is disabled by their autism, its a huge spectrum etc

The most important thing is to be polite and respectful in tone.

I'll tend to type ASD for brevity but say "has autism/ is autistic" in conversation. DS also has dyspraxia and dyslexia so SEN/ SNs is a decent catch-all. I'll specify where relevant. He's "high functioning" another contentious term, because while he can normally function, when he's curled up in a ball, covering his face and sobbing because he literally can't choose sweets in a sweet shop, he isn't functioning. But "high functioning is the diagnosis and "Aspergers" even featured in brackets.

I agree with other posters that Autism is so broad in spectrum that the word itself doesn't sum up how that affects life in the slightest.

Language around additional needs changes regularly. I grew up with a "mentally handicapped" relative (I only use that phrase in its historical context). Now it would be "Severe Learning Difficulties" but that didn't really sum it up either, because he didn't really learn, had no literacy, and was a 2 year old in a man's body. There isn't really a simple term to describe the impact on his life and care needs and no specific condition to describe the level of brain damage he incurred at birth.

Let people respectfully talk about the needs that affect their lives in the way that is appropriate to them. Listen to other people describing how their needs affect them. Don't police people being respectful.

@Yerroblemom1923

I think only on mumsnet is it rife. Generally in RL you rarely hear about kids with insert correct term here and they're in the minority.

I think it depends on the circles you move in.

I’m in my 40s and had a Statement of SEN so that was the “acceptable” term act he time. This was due to physical disability.

I don’t care what the term is or was. I care that my parents had to fight to get the Statement. The LA didn’t fulfill it anyway. Tiny things like extra time during exams - not at gcse, only at A level because we found out about it.

I’m upset and angry that I did not get an autism diagnosis until I was an adult and there is no support and I need support.

I’m also angry as I know a family with child with EHCP living in same area and more needs of all sorts than me having to fight for what their child needs.

@Morph22010 yes, I guess if you have kids with disabilities you probably hang out with other families of a similar ilk. I just meant generally on Mumsnet (or maybe it's just AIBU) I'll stat reading a story and v often at some point the poster will fill in the backstory with dd is 2 adhd, ds 12 autistic etc etc There just seems a prevalence of it on MN.

Stat = start

[quote Yerroblemom1923]@Morph22010 yes, I guess if you have kids with disabilities you probably hang out with other families of a similar ilk. I just meant generally on Mumsnet (or maybe it's just AIBU) I'll stat reading a story and v often at some point the poster will fill in the backstory with dd is 2 adhd, ds 12 autistic etc etc There just seems a prevalence of it on MN.[/quote]
I think there will be a prevalence as we are the parents needing more support / not knowing as many families with children like ours etc. Being a parent of a child with additional needs can be very isolating.

@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue

My son has autism, severe learning difficulties, is non-verbal, and has a strange form of deafness that means he can hear some frequencies but not speech.

My son has SEN.

Let's just say, the latter is far easier to type when the exact nature of his disabilities does not have relevance

This. I could write that DS has autism, ADD, tourettes, dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder combined with neurological issues.

Or I could say he has SEN.

I'm happy with SEN.

[quote Yerroblemom1923]@Morph22010 yes, I guess if you have kids with disabilities you probably hang out with other families of a similar ilk. I just meant generally on Mumsnet (or maybe it's just AIBU) I'll stat reading a story and v often at some point the poster will fill in the backstory with dd is 2 adhd, ds 12 autistic etc etc There just seems a prevalence of it on MN.[/quote]
I certainly hang out on MN more than others IRL. Ds's issues means he has bullying issues and friendship problems (as he is not developing at the same rate as others) and I don't have the energy to go around discussing the ins and outs of his medical history with allcomers, and indeed nor should I given his right to privacy. MN is anonymous and there is always someone who just 'gets' it when I talk about something being difficult or whatever.

I am a dyslexic, I am also a doctor, a wife, a mother, a woman. It is one of my defining characteristics.

[quote Yerroblemom1923]@Morph22010 yes, I guess if you have kids with disabilities you probably hang out with other families of a similar ilk. I just meant generally on Mumsnet (or maybe it's just AIBU) I'll stat reading a story and v often at some point the poster will fill in the backstory with dd is 2 adhd, ds 12 autistic etc etc There just seems a prevalence of it on MN.[/quote]
I think there’s various reasons. As others have posted above it’s incredibly isolating being a parent of a Sen child, particularly in the early days when you don’t know anyone irl to ask, so parents will tend to post as they often have no other option.

My child has been diagnosed with autism for 5 years and we have made a lot of friend with people in similar position through parent support groups, inclusive kids groups etc. It’s hard to stay friends with your old friends when they have no comprehension of what life is like and how much of a fight things are. I’ve not fallen out with anyone but have definitely drifted apart. Then finally you prob don’t notice when you see children with asd/adhd as they don’t look any different to a nt child. Sometimes they may be behaving differently and you may realise or just thing it’s a kid being naughty . I think having a kid with asd makes us abit more tuned in and I always tend to get chatting to other Sen parents when we are out for the day. Maybe we have some kind of radar. I’m the opposite to you I feel like I know far more ppl irl with Sen children compared to who post on mumsnet. Reality is prob somewhere between our two perceptions

@x2boys

Tbh I get more passed off with terminology being policed particularly when I'm talking about my own child people have different preferences it's hard to keep up .

This. It’s getting very difficult to keep up with all of the terminology around various social groups these days. And individuals prefer different terms.

It's funny how so many terms in this area, that were intended to be respectful and helpful when created, become offensive over time and have to be changed. Seems to happen a lot.

For now, I'll still say my daughter has SEN or ALN (not fussy, whichever fits the situation) and is autistic.

My father has worked with adults with learning difficulties for 4 decades. He once said to me that the terms change every 5-10 years because whatever term is chosen goes through pejorisation over that time, to the point where people have negative associations and a new term that is supposedly more positive and inclusive is coined. This process repeats ad infinitum and will until society does not see learning difficulties or neuro-divergence as a negative thing. So it seems SEN/SEND has hit that point.

I would also argue there is some degree of amelioration possible as dyslexic people often proudly declare that now in a way that didn’t happen a few decades ago. I do also think people are happier to discuss autism now as more is known about it in mainstream culture.

@Tiredtiredtired100

My father has worked with adults with learning difficulties for 4 decades. He once said to me that the terms change every 5-10 years because whatever term is chosen goes through pejorisation over that time, to the point where people have negative associations and a new term that is supposedly more positive and inclusive is coined. This process repeats ad infinitum and will until society does not see learning difficulties or neuro-divergence as a negative thing. So it seems SEN/SEND has hit that point.

I would also argue there is some degree of amelioration possible as dyslexic people often proudly declare that now in a way that didn’t happen a few decades ago. I do also think people are happier to discuss autism now as more is known about it in mainstream culture.

It isn't really autism in mainstream culture is usually protrayed as someone being just a bit quirky with some social communications difficulties ,there is still a lot of ignorance about just how vast the spectrum is and how disabling it can be for some people.

My teen children have dyslexia and ADHD but do not see it as a disability. They prefer Additional Needs as Special has been around long enough to be a bullying term.

What's "the norm"? I'm not any SEN/autistic/neurodiverse ! But I'm not "normal"

@LowbrowVictoriana

It's funny how so many terms in this area, that were intended to be respectful and helpful when created, become offensive over time and have to be changed. Seems to happen a lot.

For now, I'll still say my daughter has SEN or ALN (not fussy, whichever fits the situation) and is autistic.

Every word pertaining to minorities or disabled people will be used in a pejorative way, becomes slurs per se and then be changed. Changing the terms doesn’t actually help, it just gives people who have limited interaction with the world of disability less of a chance to feel they’re being respectful.

Every word pertaining to minorities or disabled people will be used in a pejorative way, becomes slurs per se and then be changed

Yes, sadly this.
I remember when I was a child there was a charity called "The Spastics Society" when then became - out of necessity - Scope (for people with cerebral palsy).