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Original poster

Working full time with kids tips

37 replies

sweetlimes · 11/04/2022 19:11

This is my first ever Mumsnet post!

I know this thread has been done before but I'm really struggling to find any examples using the Mumsnet search options.

I've been working part time since having my children but I've been given the chance to go back full time as maternity cover and I'm really keen to take on this opportunity with the cost of living rising etc.

Obviously this is going to take some adjustment family wise. I'm looking for tips to make life as easy possible whilst working full time with kids. What are your hacks? Is there anything you swear by? I have a notepad at the ready!

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 11/04/2022 19:12

Lower your standards in all areas.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 11/04/2022 19:15

I don’t do it I’m always interested in ways to make life easier.

  • true fair division of labour, make sure the kids pull their weight
  • 4 week meal plan or at least a list of meals, pizza/hot dog night on friday
  • online food shopping
  • cleaner
  • occasionally batch cooking/ slow cooker

How old are the children?

DollyPartBaked · 11/04/2022 19:20

Following for ideas as I'm upping my hours to FT at end of month.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
SpeedofaSloth · 11/04/2022 19:30

Don't try to do it all. Many, many things can wait until you have headspace for them, IME.
Don't compare yourself to PT working mothers in terms of playdates, activities etc. - just do what you can.
Take all annual leave and Toil owing to you.
If you can afford it, get a cleaner

ChloeR81 · 11/04/2022 19:33

FT working single parent here and has been like that since my 2 were age 1 & 4 (not both at school) so I’m a bit of a pro Grin

Top tips would be, get a cleaner if you don’t have one already, don’t try and skimp on childcare/squeeze in school drop offs and pick ups around a FT job, get good, robust childcare in place even though it’ll be long days for everyone. Also means they’ll have had dinner before you get home in the evening so only need to feed yourself in the week. No lunchboxes, has to be school dinners. 5x school uniform so no mid-week washing. No week day hobbies/clubs, just too much rushing around so has to be weekend only clubs. Everything (and I mean everything- shoes, bags, clothes laid out etc) ready the night before. Then make sure weekends are about being together as a family.

Drivingbuttercup · 11/04/2022 19:34

I went back full time with 2 dc under 5 they're now 10 and 8.

Batch cook meals and freeze. Know what you're going to eat everyday and avoid a big shop in the middle of the week.

Depending on how old your children are, they need to do more for themselves. Ie pour their own milk for their breakfast etc. Get dressed themselves etc.

Get into a routine quickly.

If there is another adult to support, then make sure they are aware of their responsibility.

Have a strict bedtime routine. Otherwise you have no time for yourself.

The house will be a tip, at times, but it is what it is.

I have big tidy ups to saturday morning and leave washing to Friday nights.

Goodluck

ChloeR81 · 11/04/2022 19:35

Oh and what SpeedofaSloth said is a great one- don’t compare yourself to non working or PT working parents when it comes to play dates, fancy dress days, parties etc. 100% agree

Nix2020 · 11/04/2022 19:36

As previous posters said lower your standards get a cleaner if you can. Also flexible working makes the juggle easier so you can do drop offs and pick ups.

MoonBat · 11/04/2022 19:42

I'm a full time working single mum to three and it's just occurred to me to get a cleaner. How do you find one? I don't have any friends to recommend one.

I agree with lowering standards. Kids and yourself fed, watered and rested? You've done a good job.

Original poster
sweetlimes · 11/04/2022 19:58

These are all amazing tips! Thank you so much.

My kids are 8 and 4 so still little but becoming a bit more independent with little jobs around the house.

What I didn't mention is that I'm a teacher so not able to take annual leave as I wish but I do get lovely, long holidays.

Love the idea of a four day meal plan, always nice to close the kitchen on a Friday night.

I know what everyone means about lowering my standards. It's going to be hard as I'm very house proud but I feel like it's probably a good lesson for me to learn, having a tidy house isn't everything.

OP posts:
QuinkWashable · 11/04/2022 20:11

Absolutely agree with so much of this - meal plan (we have the same dinner 3 nights a week - Steak Friday, Pizza Saturday, Curry Sunday, and the rest varies, but is planned so no thinking is required).

I don't batch cook really, but I do freeze the extra couple of portions of a meal so my 11 year old can just defrost himself a lunch at the weekend, and I have variations on a theme lunchboxes so I can get 2 done in 10 mins in the morning.

Alarms is what keeps everything on track in my house - alarm for me to get up, alarm for time to put coats/shoes on, alarm to brush your teeth, routine time for dinner etc. (and if you can get a childminder who'll feed them dinner, that's even better)

Washing only done Sundays (only 3 of us, so two loads does most of it, with bedding done every now and then). When the kids were younger, I'd hang a day's outfit on a hanger so they just had to pick one up and put it on, rather than rummage through everything.

Llamasally · 11/04/2022 20:14

Following

Original poster
sweetlimes · 11/04/2022 20:16

@QuinkWashable

Absolutely agree with so much of this - meal plan (we have the same dinner 3 nights a week - Steak Friday, Pizza Saturday, Curry Sunday, and the rest varies, but is planned so no thinking is required).

I don't batch cook really, but I do freeze the extra couple of portions of a meal so my 11 year old can just defrost himself a lunch at the weekend, and I have variations on a theme lunchboxes so I can get 2 done in 10 mins in the morning.

Alarms is what keeps everything on track in my house - alarm for me to get up, alarm for time to put coats/shoes on, alarm to brush your teeth, routine time for dinner etc. (and if you can get a childminder who'll feed them dinner, that's even better)

Washing only done Sundays (only 3 of us, so two loads does most of it, with bedding done every now and then). When the kids were younger, I'd hang a day's outfit on a hanger so they just had to pick one up and put it on, rather than rummage through everything.

Alarms is a great idea!!! My kids would probably think it's a fun game too.
OP posts:
Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/04/2022 20:23

My daughter Is only 1 so not quite the same as not getting her ready for school or Anything like That!

But little things help me massively

I have an excel sheet that has all food we have in the fridge, freezer and cupboards so when we are deciding what to have for dinner I can see what we have 😂😂 makes meal planning way easier

When I cook I make enough for about 10 people (a massive chili or a huge batch of sauce/curries etc) and freeze portions so we have easy nights where you just grab something from the freezer! Also I bought heaps of ready rice so don’t always have to cook the rice

Picking our our clothes the night before makes a big difference too and I leave them out ready to go - seems such a tiny thing but it really feels like it saves me time

I pack my bag and the babies nursery bag and leave at the front door so I just have to grab it

I get away with just giving my daughter a banana most mornings as she gets a proper breakfast at nursery! And I just eat when I get to work!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/04/2022 20:24

Ohhh and I sometimes pop to a supermarket on my lunch break to pick up groceries so that I don’t have to do it later in the evening

QuinkWashable · 11/04/2022 20:27

Alarms is a great idea!!! My kids would probably think it's a fun game too.

I was amazed at how much more quickly they obey google telling them to brush their teeth than they do me......

SwearyMaclary · 11/04/2022 20:28

Agree on having a cleaner, being really well-organised, dropping your standards a bit and not comparing yourself.

The biggest thing I can suggest is if you have a partner make sure they are picking up half the load. That means the mental load too…half the organising, half the drop-offs and pick-ups, half the kids’ clubs. Remembering birthdays and sorting presents for their own family. Before you up your hours is a good time to start and to hold them to it and to stick to it.

Having it all doesn’t mean doing it all!

BumbleNova · 11/04/2022 20:32

Outsource. Outsource. Outsource.
We have a cleaner who comes Mon, Wed and Fri. We have someone who does our ironing.

I second robust childcare. Ideally someone who can come early/ stay late if you need extra help occasionally.

The aim is that we all get down time/ proper time as a family rather than fighting with the chores at weekends.

Rainbowqueeen · 11/04/2022 20:37

Your DH should deal with any sick days for the first 6 months to give you time to settle into your career
Get appointments such as optometrist dentist done now before you start back

Focus on getting everyone to where they need to be, fed and with clean clothes. Anything else is a bonus.

Your kids are old enough to introduce the 10 minute tidy idea. Basically set an alarm and everyone tidies for 10 minutes.

Good jobs for kids are helping to put food shopping away, putting away clean dishes and folding and putting away washing. Youngest can match socks and put away pants.
Dh must contribute equally to cooking, housework, life admin and childcare. Have one night a week each where the other person can work as late as they need to while other parent takes care of dinner and bedtime.

Family calendar everyone can access and put everything in it. I’ve seen suggested on here a Sunday night planning meeting over a glass of wine to get organised for the week.

Loaf of bread and emergency meal in freezer and long life milk in cupboard at all times.
Same (very simple) meal every Friday night followed by a treat. We have a block of chocolate to share and everyone takes a turn in choosing what kind. We call it family chocolate and it’s a nice way to end the week

My2favboys · 11/04/2022 20:42

I just wrote a post worrying about taking a full time promotion. This post is stressing me out more

StubbleTurnips · 11/04/2022 20:43

Most of the things here - also I find:

  • shared Google calendar with Dh so we know where we / kids / parties / haircuts / vets / dentists / etc and birthdays are
  • present cupboard and card box so I’m not dicking about before a party looking for something
  • we have a chap who cuts our grass, a cleaner and send out ironing out
  • sack the big shop off and online shop, we have the same order week in week out so we know where we are with dinners (boring but necessary)
  • our two are 9 and 5 we make sure they know they have a huge part to play in helping, each night they tidy any toys, sort washing, and one night a week cook tea (which is pretty much beans or scrambled egg on toast with us supervising). It’s a team effort.
  • Morning routine is strict DH sorts kids dressed / breakfast, I put washing / dishwasher on and do school bags

I work at home so washing is done on my lunch breaks (load or peg out) and I have a robot hoover who does a long shift most days Grin

ohidoliketobe · 11/04/2022 20:46

For me its about getting organised and staying on top of it. Shared family calandar app, as soon as you know of an event, you get the message from school - stick it in there. Take a screenshot/ picture of the letter or invite. We use Familywall and it has shopping list features too. As soon as something is running low its added to the list. Next time one of us does a food shop everything we need is on the app. We have a Hello Fresh box delivered on a Sunday- that's 4 nights of reasonably quick and healthy meals sorted.
We have a cleaner once a fortnight. In between I vaguely follow The Organised Mum Method - quick half hour tidy and clean at the end of each day. Check school bags. Load and set the washer on a timer to finish as we get up so it's hung out/ on the heated airer first thing. No-one goes upstairs empty handed.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 11/04/2022 21:03

@sweetlimes

These are all amazing tips! Thank you so much.

My kids are 8 and 4 so still little but becoming a bit more independent with little jobs around the house.

What I didn't mention is that I'm a teacher so not able to take annual leave as I wish but I do get lovely, long holidays.

Love the idea of a four day meal plan, always nice to close the kitchen on a Friday night.

I know what everyone means about lowering my standards. It's going to be hard as I'm very house proud but I feel like it's probably a good lesson for me to learn, having a tidy house isn't everything.

In which case use the school holidays to review the kids clothes and what they need next, buy birthday gifts ect. Amazon subscribe and save is really good for reducing the mental load. Buy 4 of the same neutral gifts at a time for birthdays parties.

Assuming you have a partner you need to sit down together and make sure he knows what he needs to do to make this work.

Bugbeau · 11/04/2022 21:19

I agree with a lot of what is said here. I’m also a full time teacher & find the holidays help hugely as it gives you regular breaks to catch up on stuff. I get up half an hour before the kids, to have a quiet cup of tea & get organised which really helps. My husband does morning drop off and I do pick ups which works well for us. Shared diary, online good shop, meal planning all help. Would love a cleaner, that would be a huge bonus for me!

anon2022anon · 11/04/2022 21:37

Honestly, I would be questioning if it was worth it. The difference in pay between a 4 day week and a 5 day week is often not great because of tax/ni thresholds, and the amount you (I) would like to consider outsourcing costs more than that difference- cleaner, childcare, ready to go meals. Plus I found it harder to clear my had- there is no time work and child free. You are constantly rushing.

Sorry if that's not in the spirit of this thread, just felt it was worth being the only not- positive person on here! Good luck if you do decide to do it, and maternity cover is a great way to trial it.