What would you do?

[ThereIsTooMuchConfusion]

Last-minute opportunity to house sit for my friend. Giving a mini getaway for me and my two dd's over easter. Dd1 (14yo) isn't keen to come, she wants to stay at home with dh (who has to work). So she can still hang around with her friends.

I want her to come.
I do not want her to come if she’ll be miserable and thinking of her friends all the time.

Would you make her go? Or let her stay at home?

I'd let her stay home of course.

We are going camping next weekend. 2 x dd's are staying home.
Older sibling is sleeping over...
Forcing a teen on an unwanted break is torture.
Ime.

What makes you say, of course? My sister thinks it's good to get her away from her mates for a few nights and thinks it's crazy I'm letting her pass up opportunity to go on a mini holiday. I'm torn. And biased because I want her there! But equally can see it'll be torture if she doesn't want to be there.

Nah just leave her home. Else she'll ruin the holiday by sulking the whole time.

I say of course because she doesn't want to go, she's 14 and her dad's at home. Unless you can think of a problem with that, why would you make her go with you?

Alternatively, could you invite one of her friends if you really want her to come along?

I think as her dad is at home it gives her the option to choose unless there is a reason to make her have a break from friends. You will have a special time with one child, she gets to feel like she is growing up a bit . It is hard when they don't want to do things with you any more but perfectly normal.

I’d leave her at home.

Reasons why:

Firstly she’s old enough that her preferences should be listened to where possible and where it’s not obviously unhealthy - pick your battles as one of these days there might be something(s) you have to insist on her not doing/doing/not being allowed to do/etc.

Secondly perhaps this will be a nice time to spend with just your other daughter. Sometimes it’s nice to do things with them one-on-one.

Oh yes, inviting one of her friends might be another way to do it. Although that might change the dynamics for you and you probably won’t be able to relax quite as much.

Let her stay at home! "I want her to come" is a silly reason if she doesn't want to and will just sulk and moan. 14 year olds do prioritise their mates, it's a phase teens all go through.

Thanks, everyone, for your responses.

I’m surprised that no one thinks she should be encouraged to come. I think that's my upbringing that you had to put family things first - which I understand might not be the best way. So good to get the difference of opinions.

My dd 14 is friends obsessed and has FOMO so much that I think she does things even when she doesn't want to. However, this trip away was last minute, and she already had expectations of the Easter hols being friend-filled fun.

Again appreciate the responses.