Do you cook dinner for teens?

[Orangesandlemons77]

MIL was telling me I should let them cook their own dinner. I have always made it for them. That they wouldn't be independent etc.

Do you all eat together?

I definitely think it's a good idea for teens to help in the kitchen and that might sometimes include cooking for the family. Don't like the idea of everyone cooking just for themselves though and don't see how it would work practically.

Well I think you're both right really. It's not really practical or financially sensible in a family to have everyone jostling in the kitchen to cook their own meals.

However, it is important for them to learn life skills and to help out around the house.

Mine have started by helping with meals, followed by cooking simple meals, baking etc. That's how they learn.

When I'm cooking dinner I cook for everyone who's going to be there. I take into account everyone's preferences and adjust timings if necessary due to leisure activities.

Probably worth noting that I don't have a job; but if I did the only difference would be in the amount of time I spent on it. I wouldn't exclude the teenagers simply because they're teenagers.

S1 was helping his dad with Sunday Dinner before he was a teen. S2 spent a little while making his own packed lunch (pasta salad) because he felt it was important to learn independence.

They're both managing to feed themselves reasonably well at university (despite S2 not having full cooking facilities).

But if both. Teen lives with me part time. Older ones don't. I often invite the older ones too as I enjoy cooking for them and miss that family meal vibe. Teen can cook tho!

Menu dependant teens eat with us. Prob half the week at best. The rest they opt for stuff me and dh don't like! Saturday night used to be Sort Yourself Saturday but recently have eaten with us!!
5 dc here...

My elder teen has started to cook one meal for the family per week but both kids help me cook, serve, clean every day. Weekends people suit themselves out unless we make plans to eat together.

At weekends we all make our own pizzas and they sometimes make e.g. pasta dishes and puddings.

DD is almost 18. When she turned 17 we agreed that I would give her a food allowance and she would buy and cook her own food. I was fed up with cooking meals only to realise she'd made last minute plans to go out etc. The one exception is Sunday roast which we eat together every week. We spend quite a lot of time together anyway just chatting so there's not a huge need to use meals as an opportunity to catch up.

It works for us and has given her an appreciation of the cost of food and also more confidence when it comes to cooking. Some foods are for both of us (milk, bread, eggs etc) and we both share responsibility for making sure we always have some.

By the time they were 14 they would cook meals for the family 2/3 nights a.week.

We all pitch in here.

My 15 year old mostly cooks for herself. We like very different food - she taught herself and uses BBC good food website for recipes.

She's done it for a couple of years now.

I like the idea of them cooking on some nights of the week, might try this. Yes we all eat together usually.

I cook dinner for everyone every night. However I don't make two meals, so if it's a weekend or they're on holiday my DC (age 12 to 16) will sort out their own lunch.

They don't generally help with the cooking in term time unless I'm out for the evening, but in the school holidays they take it in turns to cook dinner for all five of us once a week.

Yes of course, we all eat together, even now, they are over 20!

Sometimes.

If I'm having a v low calorie day (5:2) then 16yo sorts himself out. I tend to do one when he is at his dad's and one when he is here.

If he is at hockey training (won't eat beforehand) then he'll cook for himself when he gets back - I would probably cook for him if I was home but I'm out at an activity at the same time.

If nothing is happening and we are both just home then I'll mainly cook for him, but sometimes we will cook together (I'll put pizza dough in the bread machine and we will make our pizza together), and occasionally he will cook (but I'd no eat his choices by preference so this is rarer).

Before the now 19yo went to uni they'd also cook for each other if I wasn't eating.

Yes I do. DD1 is 20 now. DD2 17 and DS is 10. DD1 is in recovery from very severe anorexia and still largely relies on me to provide her main meal. So it would not seem right to leave DD2 out. I’m the only cook in the house really. But everyone else pulls their weight. Just do different things. I’m a decent cook and enjoy it and it’s my main domestic job. So I cook an evening meal for everyone (plus my DF who lives down the road) pretty much every day. We are good at using up leftovers in the event that someone doesn’t need a meal after all. Because of DD1’s history I try to make nice food without too much angst (not saying I always succeed!).

I normally cooked dinner, it was just easier. But I made sure that both my DSs could read and follow recipes and had the basics down as far as 'normal' food prep, cooking and baking techniques (and clean as you go!) and so by the time they left home they were able to cook 'real meals' for themselves and their friends. Both of them quite enjoy cooking and 'experimenting'.

A teen ranges from 13 to 19. So refusing to cook for a 13 yr old us being a right arsehole.

Of course i cook for my kids. How can you exclude a 19 year from a family meal you’ve cooked just because they are of a certain age is beyond me.

Mine are 13 and 17. Yes I feel the same - it's a bit strange as MIL has always cooked for FIL and their grown up DC ...now she's saying their 'wives in future won't thank me'.

Erm, yes, of course. Why wouldn’t a parent cook for and eat with their teenage children?

My teens are 13 and 15. We usually eat evening meal together, I split the cooking with DH. Recently the DC have expressed an interest in cooking and will cook one night a week, something simple like making pasta sauce or chilli. We all contribute ideas to the meal plan on the kitchen whiteboard.

Breakfast and lunchtime they tend to sort themselves out.

Yes, I have an 18 and 19 year old (when not at Uni) and if we are all in for dinner, which is most of the time, then I cook dinner for all of us and always have done. They sometimes cook dinner ( as does DH) but it is rare. I think it would be good if they did more, and I think it is good for younger teens too, but I'm afraid it's always been more trouble than it was worth to force it regularly and I am lazy!

If DH and I are going out, then I don't cater for them (I would have done if when they were young teens). I just leave them to it. They sort themselves out, obviously, but it is pretty basic.

If they were going to be very late in for dinner then I would probably make enough for them to reheat it later, though not necessarily.

It would be very weird (unsociable, inefficient) to require them to cook for themselves when you are there! Same as it would be weird for me not to cook for DH (he does lots of other things in the house btw, but cooking is my job). But I think it is a good idea to encourage them to take a turn at least sometimes.

Nothing to eat after midnight is the only food related rule that MUST be obeyed

Just do whatever suits your family. I do most of the cooking in our house, though dh cooks at the weekend, and we all eat together as a family. All of my dc can cook when they need to though, even the 12 year old can do basic stuff, like home made soup, pancakes, pasta etc.

Most of the time we cook for ourselves and that includes DS1 (13) but if DH or I make a big communal meal then he's very welcome to have some. It's about 50/50 whether he will - he doesn't like stew or casserole, usually rejects shepherds pie, usually accepts lasagne, spaghetti Bolognese or curry, and usually moans about but sometimes will accept chili or sweet and sour chicken.

We have younger kids too so obviously cook for them. Sometimes if I'm making pasta or whatever for the little ones I'll see if he wants me to do extra for him. Sometimes if he's hungry around the same time he'll make pasta for all of them.

We only very rarely eat whole family meals all together, it just seems logistically very tricky, I know it shouldn't be because it seems like most people manage so I don't know why we find it so hard. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes I feel guilty about it. Other times it's just normal for our family and I don't think about it.

I don’t think they need to cook for themselves , it’s more a case of knowing they can . It’s the same as the laundry everyone in our house knows how to use the washing machine and tumble dryer but I still do 95% of the washing because it would be ridiculous for us all to be doing our own separate loads .