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Original poster

How to politely get these guests to leave?

94 replies

confusedttraveller · 10/04/2022 13:02

We have guests today for lunch. Whilst it will be nice to see them, from past experience with these guests, they will not want to leave, and will sit around looong after the conversation has dried up and we will need to drop hints that it's getting late. We have a toddler who will need tea by 6 and bathing at 7pm, and we have our grocery delivery on Sunday nights, organise stuff for the week ahead, plus I like to get into my pyjamas by 7.30 In the past I've used toddlers tea as an excuse but they just say "oh we don't mind" and then offer to help!

Any ideas for how we can get rid of them without telling them to F off?! SadConfused

OP posts:
Calphurnia88 · 10/04/2022 16:21

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Don't host if you don't want visitors, I think it's really rude to kick people out!
So you should only invite guests over if you're happy for them to stay indefinitely? Confused
2bazookas · 10/04/2022 16:23

Stand up and say "well, it's been lovely to see you. There's some left over pudding, would you like to take some home with you.?

Beamur · 10/04/2022 16:24

I say would you like to go for a walk and get some fresh air before you go home? Then they're ready with coats on and don't let them back in the house!

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YummieMummyof3 · 10/04/2022 16:50

Have they gone yet? I am intrigued how you finally managed to.get them to leave.

RewildingAmbridge · 10/04/2022 17:00

MN taught me "would you like one last coffee/tea before you go?" , they almost invariably say no, but if they do say yes they don't linger after, and if they look like they might I say to DS right give Bob and June a kiss goodbye, they'll be gone by the time you're out of the bath and then put the bath on.

HollowTalk · 10/04/2022 17:07

I would like one of those bells like the Queen had in The Crownwhere she just stares at the person and presses the bell and they have to go at that moment. I love the power involved there! I bet she bloody loves doing that to Boris.

AtleastitsnotMonday · 10/04/2022 17:24

My grandad had been known to put his pj’s on and take the milk bottles out if anyone stayed beyond 2100.

MurmuratingStarling · 10/04/2022 17:28

YANBU @confusedttraveller and this is the main reason I HATE visitors. They don't know when to fuck off!

I have experienced an aunt of DH's staying from midday to 9pm a few times, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it's made me feel sick and nauseous with stress and exhaustion. When we visited HER, she wanted us to stay over in her 'guest room' and we made the excuse that we both had work early the next day, or she'd have had us there from 11am Sunday, to 9pm Monday night. (She passed away several years ago, so we don't go now obvs!)

Also, a couple who we used to know, used to come to ours (sometimes uninvited!) and would stay for 5 or 6 HOURS, and it was soooo hard to get them to leave. 2 HOURS is a maximum we stay at anyone's home, and I don't want anyone at ours for longer than 3 hours. I start to flag and wilt then.

Why won't some people just FUCK OFF?! Confused

MurmuratingStarling · 10/04/2022 17:29

Forgot to say, I love adult DC coming, and they can stay as long as they like!

Palloom · 10/04/2022 17:38

I'm straight up front, and in a nice casual way stand up and say "ok, the party's over folks, time to wrap it up...." There is the usual shuffling of feet, the guests standing up too, kids grabbing their bags and coats for them and whatnot, and a bit of chat as they and we are moving towards the door.

My granny was Irish and she would say quite vehemently... "have yez no homes to go to!"

Lavender2018 · 10/04/2022 18:06

My dear late mil once came for tea on a Friday evening and went home the following Tuesday 🙄

MurmuratingStarling · 10/04/2022 18:08

@Palloom

I'm straight up front, and in a nice casual way stand up and say "ok, the party's over folks, time to wrap it up...." There is the usual shuffling of feet, the guests standing up too, kids grabbing their bags and coats for them and whatnot, and a bit of chat as they and we are moving towards the door.

My granny was Irish and she would say quite vehemently... "have yez no homes to go to!"

I need to be more like your Irish granny! Grin
MurmuratingStarling · 10/04/2022 18:08

@Lavender2018

My dear late mil once came for tea on a Friday evening and went home the following Tuesday 🙄
Shock
Prometheus · 10/04/2022 18:11

I’m chicken so would lie and say we had promised to go round to a friend’s house at a certain time to do a certain specific thing (drop off school book, babysit their kid for an hour etc). DH says I shouldn’t lie but I’m not assertive enough to tell people to leave.

IncompleteSenten · 10/04/2022 18:31

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Don't host if you don't want visitors, I think it's really rude to kick people out!
Overstaying is really rude.
Cheeseandlobster · 10/04/2022 18:42

They are still there. Guaranteed

noodlezoodle · 10/04/2022 19:07

Is OP being held hostage by the guests? Or maybe some kind of standoff as she attempts to get them to leave.

SeaToSki · 10/04/2022 19:11

The Chinese orange thing was told to me by my DH who grew up in Hong Kong. He said it was a plate of orange slices or segments, everyone would take one, eat it and then leave. I suppose its a bit like a party bag at the end of a dc birthday party. Maybe OPs guests want a party bag before they go home 🤣

MaryAndHerNet · 10/04/2022 19:19

Hang on hang on hang on...
Either this Mnetter is not English or no one has ever taught them the magical and useful word.. "Right"

Picture the scene..
You're looking at your watch, guests are scoffing after eights you need to get children sorted...
You slap your knees with both hands and say, loud and clear,
"RIGHT....."
standing slowly you continue...
"... Nice to see you, but it's time I cleaned up and sorted the kids..."

It also works when you're at someone's house and you're bored stupid,
"RIGHT...."
and as you rub your hands,
"... Best get home and get ready for tomorrow"

It also works when you're cornered by the boring bloke at work...
".. and the XY978 has a top speed of 38.6 kilometers per hour..."
"RIGHT...."
as you rub your hands and fiddle with papers...
"...I best get back to it..."

No one can ignore the calling of "RIGHT"

Mummyratbag · 10/04/2022 19:19

Dad always used to stretch and then lay on the living room floor starfish like - seemed to work. It was fairly mortifying then, now I wonder what the heck. Wonder if he still does it?

NameChangeCity123 · 10/04/2022 19:19

@123walrus

Doesn’t help for today but I tend to give people a finish time in advance. Eg ‘Does noon suit you on Sunday? We’ll do a roast. We have things to do in the evening but free until 4pm if that suits you?’
This is what I have started doing too and it's been really helpful
NotTheOW · 10/04/2022 19:21

@Lavender2018

My dear late mil once came for tea on a Friday evening and went home the following Tuesday 🙄
Shock
NotTheOW · 10/04/2022 19:22

@SeaToSki

The Chinese orange thing was told to me by my DH who grew up in Hong Kong. He said it was a plate of orange slices or segments, everyone would take one, eat it and then leave. I suppose its a bit like a party bag at the end of a dc birthday party. Maybe OPs guests want a party bag before they go home 🤣
I'm going to start doing this
NotTheOW · 10/04/2022 19:23

Sorry MIL you ate the orange, now you must leave

Watapalava · 10/04/2022 19:28

What time did they arrive? Did they travel far and do you see them often?

For me lunch guests would stay til 7. Leaving straight after lunch is weird and antisocial and pure rude if they’ve travelled far so it’s al relevant

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