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Original poster

I don't see a future anymore

29 replies

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 20:38

Can I have a handhold please

Tonight I'm done. I've had enough.

In 3 weeks time my tenancy runs out and my landlord won't renew it.

I have no savings - they went on repairing my car a few months ago.

I have no money for a deposit or movers

There are 5 properties for rent within a 10 mile radius of me and all are outside my price bracket and most don't accept pets.

I am currently going through a cancer scare. I have been unwell since early January and if it's not cancer then it's something else.

Im self employed so no sick pay if I am not working.

Tonight I've just been turned down for yet another property that the landlord was advertising themselves rather than through an agent.
I asked for feedback and it's because she wants a couple and didn't want someone who was driving so many miles per day!

Tonight it just all feels too much. Im a self employed carer with clients who rely on me for everything. Im rural and finding alternative care for them is impossible. I literally don't know what i am going to do. The council won't help - im not eligible.

I don't really know why I'm posting. I just wish I didn't exist.

OP posts:

WahWahWahs · 09/04/2022 20:46

Just hold on. Just a little more.
This is really tough but there will be a way through, it just takes energy and faith that you are a little low on tonight.
Someone else will be along with practical advice to help in a minute, but until then, wrap yourself fun something warm and imagine the warmth and gratitude of those you care for. They are glad you exist.

WahWahWahs · 09/04/2022 20:49

Do you have any friends nearby? Any one you could call for a chat?

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 09/04/2022 20:52

Spare room.co.uk OP. Have a good look on there. There are lots in my area. Even as a stop gap. What pets do you have?

SunscreenCentral · 09/04/2022 20:56

In your situation OP, I'd write back a version of what you've written here to the LL of the place you were declined from today.
They'd want to have a heart of fucking stone to turn you down, and you have nothing to lose.

I'm so sorry things are so difficult right now and I wish I could help.

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 20:57

@WahWahWahs

Do you have any friends nearby? Any one you could call for a chat?

Nobody close by. I live 200+ miles from most of my family and few friends. I only have a couple of friends here and none of them are close enough friends for this.

I'm autistic and have adhd so I don't find making friendships easy

OP posts:

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 20:58

@halfsiesonapotnoodle

Spare room.co.uk OP. Have a good look on there. There are lots in my area. Even as a stop gap. What pets do you have?

House sharing isn't an option sadly. I'm autistic and can't cope with living with people who I don't know really well. I have two dogs.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:01

@SunscreenCentral

In your situation OP, I'd write back a version of what you've written here to the LL of the place you were declined from today. They'd want to have a heart of fucking stone to turn you down, and you have nothing to lose.

I'm so sorry things are so difficult right now and I wish I could help.

I pretty much did when I applied.

Being single and having suspected cancer makes me too high a risk apparently! Presumably for non payment of rent. Despite having a guarantor.

OP posts:

duvetdayforeveryone · 09/04/2022 21:10

Can you take your dogs and move back in with your parents?

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 09/04/2022 21:11

Please just take a look though. They're not all necessarily sharing. Some of them are bedsits.

SenoraMiasma · 09/04/2022 21:18

OP, can you say roughly where in the country you are or name an area you would consider? We can then help look for places.

Also please Google intermediate rent in your area. Housing associations are offering this now - often studios/one beds for single people with pets/without pets.

There is always an option but I think when you are stressed (and have health scares) you can’t see the options. But they are there.

Stay on the side of realism, OP these are practical things. How wonderful will it be to have confirmation that the cancer scare is just that - a scare and the real problem is fixable?

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:19

@duvetdayforeveryone

Can you take your dogs and move back in with your parents?

No sadly not. My parents are separated and neither have a house big enough for me to move in with them. Nor would it be any good for any of us. I don't cope well living with or near to them.

OP posts:

Ballcactus · 09/04/2022 21:20

For someone to talk to tonight Samaritans are there 24/7 116 123

Housing- shelter can also help. They’ll advise you to stay out beyond the end of your tenancy, if you leave before you’re making yourself homeless, if you stay out the landlord will have to have a court order to get you out and then the council will house you, possibly in a b&b for a while. Tough journey ahead but you are worth sticking around

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:20

@halfsiesonapotnoodle

Please just take a look though. They're not all necessarily sharing. Some of them are bedsits.

I will definitely look

OP posts:

Ballcactus · 09/04/2022 21:21

Stay put*

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:24

@SenoraMiasma

OP, can you say roughly where in the country you are or name an area you would consider? We can then help look for places.

Also please Google intermediate rent in your area. Housing associations are offering this now - often studios/one beds for single people with pets/without pets.

There is always an option but I think when you are stressed (and have health scares) you can’t see the options. But they are there.

Stay on the side of realism, OP these are practical things. How wonderful will it be to have confirmation that the cancer scare is just that - a scare and the real problem is fixable?

I'm in the south west. I can't move far from where I am because of my work. I have clients who are reliant on me and it has taken a lot to build up my business. I don't want to throw it away.

My health issues are such that there is something wrong it's just figuring out what it is. But yes having a diagnosis and a plan would definitely help. But in the current situation Raven fast track things are moving very slowly.

OP posts:

Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 09/04/2022 21:25

Ask at your local council for accredited landlords.. They can offer with deposit and loan if you use one. Ask work for references.. Personal ones /from a GP also. Ask current ndn for ones regarding your Well Behaved Ddogs.
Sorry you are having a rubbish time op.

duvetdayforeveryone · 09/04/2022 21:25

@Dobbysgotthesocks Do you have a social worker?

If not, on Monday call up your local council and demand one. You are a vulnerable adult and need support.

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:26

@Ballcactus

For someone to talk to tonight Samaritans are there 24/7 116 123

I will definitely stay out until forced out by the courts as at least I will have a roof over our heads. After that I don't know. Council b&b won't really be an option with the dogs and my ASD. I think I would be safer and happier in my car!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:27

[quote duvetdayforeveryone]@Dobbysgotthesocks Do you have a social worker?

If not, on Monday call up your local council and demand one. You are a vulnerable adult and need support.[/quote]
I don't want a social worker. Or need one.

I work with social services every day due to my job.

OP posts:

SophieSoSo · 09/04/2022 21:29

Please call Shelter, they will have excellent advice for you.

I worked in housing years ago - do not move out until you are evicted through the courts. This will take a few months so buys you more time and you won’t be classed as intentionally homeless.

Being allocated a social worker isn’t that simple unfortunately, and there’s quite a high threshold for allocation but it’s worth trying, even to get some advice.

But please do ring Shelter x

Original poster

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/04/2022 21:33

@SophieSoSo

Please call Shelter, they will have excellent advice for you.

I worked in housing years ago - do not move out until you are evicted through the courts. This will take a few months so buys you more time and you won’t be classed as intentionally homeless.

Being allocated a social worker isn’t that simple unfortunately, and there’s quite a high threshold for allocation but it’s worth trying, even to get some advice.

But please do ring Shelter x

I will do

OP posts:

ThreeLocusts · 09/04/2022 22:02

Hi OP, no useful advice, sorry, just to say I'm rooting for you. It sounds like a tough few months ahead, but with staying out the tenancy and the council's obligation to help you once evicted, you won't end up on the street. Scratch your dogs behind the ears from me if that is something they like.

MNHQ

ClaraMumsnet · 09/04/2022 22:18

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

Babyroobs · 09/04/2022 22:23

Could you re-locate nearer to family and stay with one of them temporarily ? To be honest you could get some kind of care work pretty much anywhere right now. I understand you don't want to let your clients down but sometimes have to put yourself first.

TunnelOfGoats · 09/04/2022 22:26

Hi OP. Just wanted to mention that there are lots of live in care/housekeeping jobs which come with accommodation across the UK. Some are very well paid and lucrative as you often have no living costs. Good luck!

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