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Original poster

Daughter blackmailled

26 replies

fortifiedwithtea · 07/04/2022 18:45

Back story , 19 learning disability and bi polar. Currently in a very bad place mentally.

Creep finds her on tiktok starts messaging. Contact is created by her adding telegram app to her phone.

The time line started March 31st. At first very romantic, quickly escalated to demands for money. So all this in a period of 7 days.

Followed by demands for access to her Instagram account and her bank details. He takes over her Instagram account. She thinks she has been hacked. In truth She gave him the log in details. He changes her username, bio pfp adds his pictures.

Demands nudes. Not sure she actually done that. Him lots of angry emoji she is not doing as he is saying. Says he will stop talking to her unless she sends money, send pictures of herself.

He has a video she sent, showing her bare legs which are very bruised because she is an ice skater.

He takes over her Tiktok account too. He tells her she can have her accounts back when she pays £500. He reposts on the telegram app a video of her bare legs that she sent him and threatens to post it on Tiktok. Which he has done. The implication is there are more boobs and pussy that he will sent directly to her Dad’s work place, and on her social media (which he has stolen).

I have reported the post and the account to Tiktok

I have reported the account to Instagram.

I have contacted the UK police, waiting for a police officer to come and see us.

She has 2 bank accounts. One has her PIP money paid in, she can not access that money. The other is a petty cash fund at another bank fed from the main account. Limit is £50 per week and not possible for her to go overdrawn.

We have taken her phone. She has not seen the numerous messages from him today as she is out at a supervised activity all day until 9.30pm tonight.

Has anyone been in a similar nightmare? Could do with some support

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 07/04/2022 18:58

What a vile scumbag, keep the messages and give the phone to the police. I would also contact the fraud dept at her bank just in case he tries to access them.

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 07/04/2022 23:03

Police have called to arrange a meeting with my daughter and myself at home.

Meanwhile creep is still messaging, he is getting more and more desperate for a response. I have her phone.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 07/04/2022 23:15

Total and utter nightmare. I would be careful not to delete him if that makes sense - it might help the police if they can actually see the messages.

Have you spoke to the bank to make them aware there is an issue to watch out for suspicious transactions? Just in case she has given her details to him and you don’t know. It might be worth just letting them know.

I wish I had some really good advice to give but I’m afraid there’s just no good advice for a situation like this. I think you’ve done right to get police involved ASAP.

Kanaloa · 07/04/2022 23:16

Also if funds allow maybe you could do something nice with your daughter. Even if you don’t have learning disabilities and poor mental health things like this can suck you in - it’s easy in hindsight to spot it but these people are master manipulators who take advantage of vulnerability. She will be really grateful of your support at the moment.

TinselTitsAndGlitteryBits · 07/04/2022 23:21

The implication is there are more boobs and pussy that he will sent directly to her Dad’s work place, and on her social media (which he has stolen).

Jesus Christ, OP. That terminology is brutal!

There's not much you can do apart from what you've done. Hopefully the police can help further.
I would be keeping her off the phone full stop for the foreseeable.
In future, no unrestricted access to any devices or social media. I'd maybe even restrict her access to the bank.
Anything to protect her.

BluebellsGreenbells · 07/04/2022 23:27

People need to be more aware of these things. I’ve said it many times on here, it’s so easy to fall into these traps.

Children as young as 9 have hundreds of followers and the parents just don’t think ahead.

Thank you for highlighting this.

Shinyandnew1 · 07/04/2022 23:28

Christ-how awful. Your poor daughter.

Are you abroad? Your reference to having told the UK police makes me think you may be?

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 08/04/2022 08:14

@TinselTitsAndGlitteryBits I am quoting his phrasing. Thing is I am not convinced the images he holds are that severe. What she has told me , matches up with what I have found in this telegram app.

I suspect my daughter is just one of many . He probably can’t recall who exactly has sent what.

@Shinyandnew1 yes I am in Uk. But we believe he is in Florida.

There is likely not much the police can do but its might be part of a bigger scam

OP posts:
Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 09/04/2022 12:42

This a naive question but I really don’t know much about the internet.

Why would the creep ask for our broadband details, wifi code? What could he do with them? She didn’t give him the wifi code because she doesn’t know where to look.

Reading through the hundreds of messages is grim. He has enough info for identity theft definitely of her and possibly me and DH as well.

Every day brings a new oh fuck moment.

I know she is mentally ill and he found her at her lowest . I just feel like I don’t even know her .

OP posts:
EvilPea · 09/04/2022 12:46

Is she ok?

What an absolute scum bag he is.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 09/04/2022 12:51

If he had your router and password details I think it may be possible for him to access your router remotely and be able to see what you're doing. Like internet banking passwords etc.

I'm not sure, but I think it's possible.

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 09/04/2022 13:32

Oh God I feel sick.

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 09/04/2022 15:17

Yoou need to speak to your internet and phone company and get all the wifi codes and passwords changed. Have the police been round to see you yet.

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 09/04/2022 15:23

This is frighteningly common and something that gets referred to my team often, for both vulnerable young men and women.

Don't be surprised if the police refer it on to social services for adult safeguarding, if you feel there is more support she may benefit from to prevent this from happening again then this is a good opportunity to ask for it.

Has she got a learning disability nurse? If so they have specific social story type stuff they can use to work through it with her as again, its sadly very common for young people with LD to be deliberately targeted in this way. If she hasn't then again, a referral for this is something that could be asked for as part of any safeguarding discussions.

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 09/04/2022 15:34

@SafeguardingSocialWorker I really tried to keep her social worker. She was sectioned at age 15 so obviously she was appointed a social worker then. I really needed that support but as SS deemed we were doing everything we should as supportive parents she lost her social worker.

And no she does not have a disability nurse.

She has had a lot to cope with in the last 7 months. Not something I want to disclose here but very serious and has impacted massively her mental health as it would anyone. She was just beginning to open up to me , tell me what had happened to her. And now this.

I am going to make an appointment for myself for some anti depressants because seriously I am at the end of what I can cope with.

OP posts:
BonnyandPoppy · 09/04/2022 15:38

We had a problem with a guy setting up a fake Facebook page under my (also with learning difficulties page) daughter’s name then messaging her friends saying she was a slag and prostitute and all sort! He stole photos of her page and used them on the fake page. We went to the police with it all and he got a visit from them and told to stop! My daughter did know him though from college and we knew who he was. The police came here and took a statement and we’re a great help.

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 09/04/2022 15:44

She would have been referred on to adult services at 18 anyway which is a whole new referral. She will be assessed in her own right for services as an adult rather than her assessment being based on what support you offer her. Adult services work very very differently to children's services.

If she wasn't open to services at the time she turned 18 then no one will have done this. You/she can refer to adult services ant any time you like and request a Care Act Assessment.

They will also assist you with referring to LD health services if you have struggled to get a referral to them yourselves. Your GP can also make this referral.

Even if the police don't make the referral to adult safeguarding (and they should do) you can make this referral yourself via your local authority. Be clear when making the referral that you feel she is still at risk.

You can also request a carers assessment from the local authority in your own right regardless of what happens with her assessments and what services she is offered. This should offer you some support as well.

Neverreturntoathread · 09/04/2022 16:11

I’m sorry OP. She (and you!) are victims of a crime and can only do so much. Like you, I suspect he doesn’t have any actual nude photos or he’d be sending them to you with threats he’d release them.

Has he got actual access to her bank account? Have you been in contact with the bank fraud hotline to freeze the account / reset login? The bank can help here.

As to the rest of it you’re taking the right steps.

Hope the police can help xx

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 09/04/2022 16:51

We have taken steps to protect her bank accounts.

Police were available to come out to us earlier but because DD can not drop out of a sport thing this weekend we arranged for Monday morning. Looking back on that, there was stupid on my part. Should have Made seeing the police the priority.

We have an incident number and if anything significant happens we can phone the police and update them.

Creep is messaging less often. He is being ignored, its not feeding his sick ego.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 09/04/2022 17:01

Id switch the phone off & shove it in a drawer til Monday. Let the police switch it on & read the messages. There's nothing to be gained by you reading them

Xpologog · 09/04/2022 17:20

Your poor daughter. And you, what a shit scumbag this guy is.
IF he has your router passcode he can access your WiFi. This has been highlighted on a TV programme recently. Call your Broadband provider and request a new router and after resetting phones, iPads etc, tape over the code on the back of the router ( make a cope of the code and lock it away somewhere first) .
You have done all you can and I hope your daughter didn’t send any more photos to him.

Peasandcabbage · 09/04/2022 21:22

Absolutely sickening. Well done you for the steps you have taken.

I can't offer practical help but some of the evening people might be able to.

Can certainly give a handhold and support. You say uk but I'm Scotland legal so might be able to advise if here.

Original poster
fortifiedwithtea · 13/04/2022 17:18

Update. The police came Sunday morning. Don’t know if there really was a mix up with the diary but glad to get it sorted. It was hanging over us all . The police were here for nearly 3 hours. They were completely brilliant . Tech savvy enough to gain control over her Tiktok. They were also able to find that the creep was using a vpn and not in Florida and actually in Nigeria.

Instagram have removed the account as many people reported it. So that is gone.

Dd is recovering well and is at my mum’s for a sleepover.

At some point we will buy her a new phone with a new number so we can put this behind us. Its a tricky one. On one hand we don’t want her to have access to social media but on the other hand a smart phone is so useful to have find my friend so she can have some independence and we have rhe comfort of knowing she can’t get lost.

OP posts:
SawnWood · 13/04/2022 17:22

Well done for being an awesome mum!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/04/2022 17:56

@fortifiedwithtea if she's open to it, you can always put a parental fix on the phone. I use Family Link for my 13 year olds, they can't use social media with it. They can still watch the shorts on Youtube which satisfies them on that front.