Has anyone here ever worked for a bully?

[SummersBreeze]

My employer is ok some of the time then there are other times she's an absolute c*not, excuse the bad language. The later is one of those days. Just highly powered and over critical of absolute everything and just a bully. Like giving me a task to empty a massive box and sort all the rubbish and expecting me to have the several different tasks of sorting the rubbish and flattening the boxes within a few minutes and then grunting with there's a box that hasn't been seen to get but I was working on it. These tasks were never even within my role. Then refusing to pick up her plate and cup after lunch and leaving the kitchen in aess for someone else as in me to clear away. She caught me having a drink of water earlier and the she barked shit at my back. I'm just thinking, denying me water is absolutely against employment law. The only reason she hasn't been strung up in a court of law is because it will probably be costly to take a case and I think it will be a matter of he said,she said. I don't work in a large corporation with a human resources team. It's a smaller role with few colleagues. It's hard to explain.
Boss isn't all the time in work but is today and she's horrible.

My cousin killed himself last year and I just keep thinking he had the right idea. At least hes now allowed a break in his coffin. I'm in the toilet nearly in tears from the bosses moods. She was overly critical.

God op currently working for someone v similar and it's hell.

Ive requested to condense work days for personal reasons (I have another job because they don't fucking pay me enough) and it's been ignored by them although she's just come bak from a three week trip away and happy for me to keep things ticking over.

Today we have been told off for at least ten very small hideous things and quite frankly im looking for an out.

I hate the toxic environment and it's not doing my stress levels any good ata lol

Make an appointment to see an employment lawyer. She's leaving herself open to all sorts treating you like this. Make sure you document everything.

I used to and they were a bloody employment lawyer.

What I would suggest is start making detailed notes somewhere of everything she does including date and time (and if possible witnesses). You may decide never to bring a case but at the very least it will be cathartic.

Can you look for another job?

The only way to deal with bosses like this is to leave. Any other job at all will be better than the current situation. If you're thinking you're trapped there, worried about money from taking a pay cut, start working out how to reduce your expenses because all those things you think you really need? You won't need any of them if you're dead. So change your life now, while you still have one. Do whatever it takes to make taking another job viable.

I got tuped over to one of these. I did 8 hours under her and dropped her in the shit by quitting. Quite liked that job as well.

I appreciate it's not as easy as that atm.

Not now, but used to. Among many gems was asking me to do something, I'd do it, and then he'd look at me baffled and claim he'd never asked me to do it at all and I was making it up. Worse - he used to leave the bathroom door wide open in the (very small) office.

OP, I may be wrong but from the tasks she's given you, can I take a guess that you're a PA? If so, get yourself registered with as many recruitment agencies as possible - the job market it good at the moment.

Even if you're not a PA, I'd think seriously about getting out ASAP. Perhaps ask your GP to sign you off with stress to give you some breathing space? It's difficult when life is so expensive, but no job is worth feeling like this.

Yes I did. As a PA you know the devil wears prada? It was that but 1000000% worse.

Some of the demands now I laugh about but they were ridiculous.

The ultimate demand was asking me where the elephant in Africa was that he had adopted as he needed to know.

I was also told that his children’s sports day was more important than mine because he paid for private school.

@ItsDisneyBitch this sounds very similar to my nightmare boss too. I'd like to thing it was the same person, but sadly they're more common than they should be.

This is awful.
Firstly, I think you need to speak to your gp. You sound depressed ( I'm not surprised ), and when you are talking about taking your own life, it is time to seek help.
Secondly, I have studied employment law, but it was a long time ago. I don't want to give any outdated advice. Someone on mumsnet with more up-to-date knowledge will hopefully come along shortly. Without knowing much about your organisation, it's also hard to say. How many other people work there? What do they think about the situation?
Thirdly, yes, I have been bullied at work. It was an educational setting and many of us made formal complaints to either the union or the local authority and the headteacher was actually taken off the premises one day and never came back. It was a while ago, a horrible time for everyone. You have my sympathy.

I have and you must leave. It is the only option. I'm very sad you have to deal with this. Keep yourself safe and supported.

You’ve been asked to empty some boxes and then dismantle them. Doesn’t really matter if it’s ‘within your role’ sometimes adhoc tasks need doing at work.

I am finding it hard to imagine someone barking at you for taking a drink when doing manual work, is there a massive side to this you’re not saying?

@FTEngineerM Possibly, bu not necessarily - sometimes people are just bullies. This is partly why I asked if the OP is a PA: there's an old saying that PAs are either well paid or well treated (and in my experience often neither), and plenty of people seem to think they can be as rude as they like to admin staff in a way they'd never do to other people.

I was expected to do the task within a silent timeframe of about 5 minutes. I was expected to do it out side in a tshirt and apparently there was no time fore to put on a jacket. The cold went through me.
I was also expected to do that take while at the same time doing the tasks that I am required to do. So I left some boxes beside the door so that I could work on them and the employer walked on by and started criticising and huffing. She won't even do half of the load that she's so quick to dish out to me.

Then a while later I was getting some water from my own bottle and sitting down while knocking back some mouthfuls of water. My mouth was so dry and sore and I was dizzy and I felt like I needed to sit down for a moment and then she walked right in on top of me taking a quick moment and started shouting fucking shit at me for taking a moment to have a drink of water.

She's someone who only sees what she wants to see.

I'm not a PA.

I don't have any issues on working on tasks that need to be done. I often work on suck tasks like emptying bins but slaving around a kitchen after another adult is something else. It's almost as if she expects me or someone else to pick after her at all times while she pokes and finds critisism in everything.

She's ok some days and she's ok to be around then other days like today she's an absolute fucking turd of human.

a - is she the only boss
and
b - how long have you worked there?

My friend is a PA and she has had several bosses who have put her through this sort of shit. It seems to be par for the course so I'm not surprised if someone asked you if you were.

I would vote with my feet personally.

What do you do? Could you find something easily enough? If you're being asked to empty boxes I can't imagine you are director level. At least I hope you're not!

I was expected to walk across a wet floor today. That's not an issue for me but when there's a wet floor, I generally use caution and walk slowly. That makes sense doesn't it?
Boss saw me literally crawling on the wet floor to get from one point to another and then she started on me again for not going fast enough.
My back is sore as it is and if it was up to her,she would be delighted to see it broken under her nose.

What exactly was the dialog when she started on you?

I have. I worked for an absolute asshole who micromanaged every second of my day. And would come over to my desk at ten to 4 ( I worked 8-4 to avoid traffic which he agreed to) and give me more jobs.
I lasted 5 weeks, went on sick leave and searched for another job.
To my knowledge he has been unable to retain any staff since. I filled a complaint when I left but HR took the stance that as i resigned the issue is resolved. He still works there probably on the guts of a 6 figure salary.
My advice document everything but realistically start looking for another job now.

Yes.

But I kept pulling her up on it. Asking her why she was trying to bully me and others. I told her that I wouldn’t let her intimidate me.

I was bullied throughout school. I wasn’t about to be bullied as an adult for the sake of a job.

I KNOW it’s not easy for everyone to stand up to people, and it did help that I wasn’t relying on the job to survive.

She fucking hated me for that but left me alone when it was clear I wasn’t upset by her and wouldn’t take her shit. I didn’t need the job and so caused merry hell with HR, logging everything she did to me and other staff when they wouldn’t.

she got made redundant in the end.

Yes in my early 20s I wasn’t his particular target he bullied everyone and the relief and joy in the place when he booked annual leave was amazing! It was his company and he would pick at put you down, praise was unheard of. I was a nervous wreck in the end, he even bollocked me on my first day back at work after I’d been in a horrific car crash and work had built up while I was in hospital! I found out after I left he had sexually harassed a PA and had an agency telephone me and ask me if the conditions there were as bad as a temp they had placed there described? (They had my CV from my job hunting) I said yes she would be telling the truth and they decided not to place any staff either temporary or permanent there after that. My advise is leave as soon as you can, life is too short

Yes, when I was younger. She used to check my work every single day, and then drag me into a room and pull apart every tiny thing I did until I cried. When I cried she felt her work was done.

I was given loads of extra tasks that were above my pay grade and covered 3 roles. I was the youngest member of staff and was not respected.

Then every night she would get drunk, call me and rip apart all of my colleagues, pretending to be my best friend.

I complained to my area manager and was basically told it was all in my head. I left pretty soon after and never looked back.

Yes I did and after 11 months with her I was off sick for 7.

The trouble with bullying bosses is that you dont see it coming. I was micro managed, shouted at, made to feel useless no matter what I did until I was a shell. I had never had the feedback she gave me. She was known for it as well.

You need to find another job. I was so unwell that I couldnt.

You need to get out of there OP. Can you start job hunting? Once you start that you know you won't be there forever.