Dealing with that awful feeling of anxiety, how?

[bloodywhitecat]

That feeling that you can't quite catch your breath and that feeling in your chest, the tightness in your throat. Sleep is crap, I can't. I feel tired but have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I just want the world to stop so I can get off. I am not depressed. I know this is all grief (my DH died a few weeks ago) but this physical stuff is hard to deal with, it is there all the time. For 30 seconds, when I wake up in the morning, I feel normal then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Is there anything I can do? I am waiting for counselling but at the same time it feels too soon for counselling. Nothing makes sense. Nothing.

I didn’t want to read and not reply but oh my lovely that sounds hard.
Have you anyone in real life to talk to ? Xx

Id ask for propranolol. It stops the adrenaline whooshing round your body, causing these physical symptoms. The mental symptoms will be the hardest to deal with. I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you. It must be so raw and painful right now. I know time helps, but that's in the far future, just now must be unbearable. I'm just so sorry

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry OP.

Definitely ask your GP to try propranolol - you can just take it when you feel you need it, and it really helps with the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Propanolol or Trazadone. Counselling can certainly help but these and other anti anxiety meds are wonderful things and there to be taken in order to help in the short term.

I'm so sorry about your DH @bloodywhitecat. I don't have any experience of what you're going through, but I do suffer with anxiety and have for a couple of years.
When it's bad, there's a few things I try to do to calm myself. I'm not sure if they work, or it's a placebo because I feel like they do, so they do.
Vagus nerve ice pack (basically something cold on your chest). Or a wheat bag as hot as I can stand on the back of my neck, cold pack over my eyes. Dim the lights, radio on very low or white noise and concentrate on my breathing.
As a last resort for me, I take Propanalol. I'd think your GP would be willing to prescribe, if you can take it and want to try. Wishing you the best

(((HUG)))

I've been on your threads since your DH was first dx.

You're doing well xx. You're getting up each day, you're looking after the DFC.

Your anxiety is totally normal. It's a horrible horrible way to feel c

The good news is, it will go away!

The bad news, it'll do so at what feels like a glacial pace.

That lovely few minutes when you first wake up is great, then reality hits you with a smack in the chops & brings along its mate 'anxiety'

It's utterly crap!!

For me. I find fresh air helps. Taking the kids to the park or a walk along the river etc is perfect (for me) but when that's not possible, even just standing in the doorway with the door wide open helps.

Sometimes a really good cry in the shower

& obviously cuddles with the kids!! Stories & snuggles. The bookshelves got a HUGE cull, so many I couldn't read without bawling!

But hang onto the fact that you'll never stop loving DH & missing him, but it DOES stop being so 'raw' and 'in your face'

🌸

Just to add, propranolol isnt addictive and even if the gp prescribes it X amount a day, you can take it as you feel fit. Some days you might not need any, other days its a lifeline. It just stops the physical signs of anxiety you are experiencing, but it doesn't help with the mental stuff. But maybe the mental stuff will be a tiny bit more bearable if your heart isnt racing and your throat isnt closing.

Also, I'd get something to help you sleep.

Nothing is supposed to make sense, and feeling utterly horrible is allowed. Permit yourself everything.

For me, exercise helped with the physical crushing sensation, and with the feeling that I wasn't capable of doing anything.

Eventually things will start to look and feel different, but don't feel you're the one who has to fix this. You're going through a natural process, and that will progress at its own pace, along with the rest of nature.

I hadn't realised that there was something that could take away the physical symptoms so thank you for that. I don't want to numb the emotional pain if that makes sense because I think it is normal and to be expected but the physical stuff is horrible.

@LoveSpringDaffs I agree getting out every day, regardless of the weather, is important for me too. I find outdoors very grounding. We went to a local forest park at the weekend, we had a great time finding the Gruffalo and playing on the musical instruments, I try to plan an outdoor activity every day. Today we only made it as far as the garden but we have a large garden and FC1 was happy to be out there for hours. He discovered an old Cozy Coupe in the garage and has had so much fun in it that I have ordered him a new one of his own for his birthday.

I collected his ashes this week but I haven't told anyone yet, we had plans to scatter them in a couple of places that were important to him but I am not ready to break him up yet. I suppose that sounds mad. I think I would've found it mad before I was in this situation but now I am here I am not ready.

You must do what's right for you. I remember being forced to spread my mums ashes far too soon, due to siblings desperate to get away. I was distraught, feeling like I'd abandoned mum in the dark countryside after looking after her for so long.

There's no right or wrong way to feel just now when nothing feels right anyway.

@ssd I am so sorry you went through that, I completely understand how awful that would've been for you. No-one has asked me yet so I am not going to say anything until I am either asked or until I feel ready.

@bloodywhitecat

That forest sounds great!!

But the garden is far enough! As I said, even just standing in the doorway helps me. I don't know if it's the fresh air, or just not being closed inside the house?!

If anyone is asking what they can get FC1 for his birthday, there's a really cute trailer for the CC & a petrol pump! So cute.

As for DH's ashes (which just shouldn't even be a thing xxx) do what is right for you. If others ask & you're not ready, then just say that! We had the ashes put into a pottery pot (with a lid) & several years later I still like to pick it up for a hug! I don't GAF what anyone thinks about that! Not many people know that's what it is, but I find it comforting 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're doing incredibly well, one day/step at a time 🌸

Totally agree with that post^^

Have you managed to speak to your gp yet @bloodywhitecat about getting propranolol?

Another vote for propanalol.
I started on them last month and they are like a miracle . The constant stomach lurching has just stopped!

I can't get an appointment until the 19th April.

I don't know if you've tried the tapping technique OP, it might help while you're waiting to see your GP. It did help me with the physical symptoms of anxiety when I was struggling a while back.

@bloodywhitecat

I can't get an appointment until the 19th April.

Thats rubbish Can you not ask for an emergency appointment?