Ex husband co parenting

[Rozee]

Please can anyone help
I am struggling with my ex husband who will not undertake his fair share of parenting with our 2 amazing kids (10 and 14). they live with me and I have always been the main carer but with us separating I have had to take on a full time job as he doesnt pay maintenance (thru court he has been told to pay the mortgage until the house sells) He works full time and will not commit to any help with the kids but expects to have them for an hour here and there (no structure or advance planning) to suit him. He is killing me with stress and exhausting and he will not communicate - he is a very controlling man - hence the divorce. Can anyone offer any advice - I cant afford a lawyer and I have tried womens rights and social services but with covid no one ever gets back to me. This has gone on for 6 months and I need to accept this new job for the sake of my kids and earning more more to support them.

the children are available at 12 - 6pm sunday (or whenever) rinse and repeat

if he does not show up within 15 mins of start time then carry on with yoru day

i mean this kindly, behave as if you do not have him in your life if he is that unreliable!

@GettingItOutThere all this. Set your stall out and don’t pander to him. Don’t get sucked into when works for him (by the sounds of it then it will change by the minute!), he’s busy with work blah blah

Also agree with @GettingItOutThere set a routine so he has an opportunity on a certain day/time to see them, and don't allow any last minute visits. Don't change any of your plans for him!

It is shit and unfair, but you cannot make him do more childcare. You can have a clear boundary about when he can have access to the dc so it isn't mucking up your plans.

Go through CMS if he isn't paying the support he should be.

You need to sort out childcare for the 10 year old.. 10 year old is not available then..

Does he live local.

The 14 year old is old enough possibly sorr contact himself...

The 10 year old is available from..

You can't make him co parent .... sadly the dc will have to learn who he is.