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Original poster

How to stop going red argh!

30 replies

HaudYerWheestFella · 05/04/2022 08:51

Anyone else have a really awful blushing problem for absolutely no reason? And is there anything that helps?!
All it takes is for someone to talk to me and I will start to burn up, even if it' just a general polite conversation- I'm not even embarrassed so why do I go so scarlet?? It's been like this for as long as I can remember and especially awful at work when anyone tries to talk to me even though I can hold a conversation absolutely fine and have otherwise normal social skills?!!

Anybody the same and managed to find anything that works?

OP posts:

Sammysquiz · 05/04/2022 09:19

Same here! And then people say ‘oooh you’ve gone red’ which makes things 10 times worse

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 05/04/2022 09:20

Yes 😑 My God, I feel the burn creep up from my neck upwards, I hate it.

Change123today · 05/04/2022 09:22

I’m a glower, then I fluster!

Hate it as I then get anxious and go redder!

No idea how to deal with it - depends on the situation I either step back but I’m finding as i get older I try not to care and carry on.

yourlegmyleg · 05/04/2022 09:24

Yes, I used to be exactly like this for years. I feel your pain.
For me I decided I wasn't going to care about it (more difficult than it sounds I realise). I made a decision to crack on with social interactions and if I was red so what?...It took a while but honestly it never happens now.

Original poster

HaudYerWheestFella · 05/04/2022 09:38

Arghh I hate the 'you've gone red' comments, like do people think we can't feel the burn?!
I do just ride it out now and ignore it as it happens but for once I would just love to be able to have a conversation at work without burning up

OP posts:

D0lphine · 05/04/2022 09:53

Yes I blush. Nothing you can do about it

Sh05 · 05/04/2022 09:54

I read something about controlling your breathing when you feel a blush coming. Calm deep breaths are supposed to stop the blush spreading. Just normal in from your nose out of your mouth deep breaths

millievanille · 06/04/2022 11:03

I've had this problem all my life so I completely understand. The slightest embarrass with make my cheeks flush deep red and make my neck, chest and tops of my arms hot and blotchy. Even someone saying hi to me or giving me a compliment can trigger it off.
One woman I used to work with found it endlessly amusing and would say things like 'she's going red again!' And would actually turn her chair round and watch me like it was some sort of office entertainment.
As a pp has said, sometimes controlling breathing when you feel it start can limit the length of time it lasts. Another thing I've found works at times is if you locate an exit and remind yourself it's there if you need it. If I feel like I'm choosing to stay in the situation I feel more in control of it. Hope this helps!

GigglingPinkGiraffe · 06/04/2022 11:12

Breathing is absolute key in anything embarrassment or nervousness related.

Changed my life!

florianfortescue · 06/04/2022 11:15

@millievanille

I've had this problem all my life so I completely understand. The slightest embarrass with make my cheeks flush deep red and make my neck, chest and tops of my arms hot and blotchy. Even someone saying hi to me or giving me a compliment can trigger it off. One woman I used to work with found it endlessly amusing and would say things like 'she's going red again!' And would actually turn her chair round and watch me like it was some sort of office entertainment. As a pp has said, sometimes controlling breathing when you feel it start can limit the length of time it lasts. Another thing I've found works at times is if you locate an exit and remind yourself it's there if you need it. If I feel like I'm choosing to stay in the situation I feel more in control of it. Hope this helps!

There is a special place in hell for that kind of person. "Ooh, look, she's gone bright red!" Oh fuck off.

Sympathy... I have had this problem all my life. On a practical level I find wearing high neck tops helpful so the neck flush isn't visible. I have heard good things about CBT but can't personally afford it.

spiderlight · 06/04/2022 11:23

I've had this all my life, and having it pointed out that I've gone red is the absolute worst!! This has been a major contributor to my crippling social anxiety :( Will try the breathing.

Original poster

HaudYerWheestFella · 06/04/2022 12:24

Will try the breathing techniques also but sometimes I find it can catch me so off guard, like I will be fine at first talking to somebody then it just suddenly comes on?!

I must say I'm lucky that it doesn't start from my neck and it is literally just my face, although not sure if that looks worse- a pale white neck with a bright red head attached .

OP posts:

FlippyFloppyFlappy · 06/04/2022 12:26

Oh God yes I hate those who take delight in "why have you gone red?" 😤

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/04/2022 12:29

Yes I'm the same OP. Had this in school, hated reading out lout in class etc due to it. Thought I'd grow out of it but I'm now early 50s.

I do think it's held me back at work, I've been reluctant to go for more senior roles, although I know I could do them, because I'd have to chair meetings and manage people.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/04/2022 12:29

At least I can laugh it off and blame it on menopause now

SheWoreYellow · 06/04/2022 12:32

Decent foundation. If you know it can’t be seen so much, I didn’t you don’t blush so much and then retrain your body. In my experience anyway.

mrdarcyfan · 06/04/2022 12:38

Since I took anti depressants the problem went away.It's an anxiety issue.

MumChats · 06/04/2022 12:40

Totally in the same boat its so annoying and embarrassing. No advice but you aren't alone :(

chillichutneysarnie · 06/04/2022 12:45

Its social anxiety, I got a private prescription for propranolol (you can do this with online doctors). It will physically stop your symptoms eg blushing so after a while your brain breaks that association and you can try cutting down or cutting out the meds completely. Not saying you'll never blush again but it cut that annoying "unnecessary" blushing by about 90% for me.

chillichutneysarnie · 06/04/2022 12:46

Propanolol not propranolol

NETSRIK · 06/04/2022 12:49

The people that point it out are idiots.

I now try to just carry on as normal and ride it out.

LakeIsle48 · 06/04/2022 12:50

I had that same problem and it was awful. Someone told me to pretend I was freezing and bizarrely it did help a bit. I also got beta blockers, they helped. I dont care that it might have been a placebo It ruined my life for many years. I'm 100% fine now. See your GP and hopefully that will help. I know how awful it is. Take care of yourself

LoganPaw · 06/04/2022 12:51

If you wear makeup try a green base under your usual foundation/tint. It's designed to even out skin colour so will hide some of the blush when it strikes. Won't stop you going red of course but might give you reassurance that it's not very noticeable.

coffeeschmoffee · 06/04/2022 16:35

Omg this is me!!! In my 40s now and it worse than ever.

@GigglingPinkGiraffe please can you expand more on breathing and how its helped?

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 06/04/2022 23:40

Have you considered hypnosis? Worked amazingly well for me years ago.

I feel your pain, it can be crippling! X

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