Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Should rich people buy from charity shops?

164 replies

CricutKeeno · 04/04/2022 10:46

I saw a post from a well known celeb mum on Instagram, she had bought a pram from a charity shop for her baby. My first thought was wow! That’s surprising and great that she’d buy from a charity shop. But then I thought that it could be stopping someone who couldn’t afford a new one from being able to get it.

This mum has a silly amount of money at her disposal, should people like that not buy new, and leave the cheaper options for those who don’t have a choice? If so, then where do you draw the line? Maybe her buying a second hand buggy won’t make a difference to anyone else, or perhaps it could encourage others to shop from charity shops who might not think to, maybe that’s a good thing?

OP posts:
VyeBrator · 04/04/2022 12:39

To be honest, phrases like 'preloved' do nothing at all to reduce the stigma. It's as though people just can't bring themselves to utter the word 'secondhand'.

Beercrispsandnuts · 04/04/2022 12:40

Charity shops are predominantly there to raise money for the charity, it’s not like using a food bank.

Cornettoninja · 04/04/2022 12:40

@stargirl1701

We have enough stuff on the planet for at least 100 years. No one should be buying new.
It’s mind boggling when you really sit and think about it isn’t it? The amount of ‘stuff’ that the majority of people have yet there are still shop shelves stuffed with exactly the same stuff.

On the occasion we frequent somewhere like hobbycraft it blows my mind that something like buttons are specifically made for them to sell. Buttons! There must be trillions knocking around on items of clothes no one is ever going to wear again.

DirtyDancing · 04/04/2022 12:40

Charity shops are not food banks, and they are not means tested. So yes, she is well within her right to buy the pram & contribute towards the charity.

This could be viewed a different way- should the pram owner have given the pram to a charity shop in the first place? Near me there are at least 4 organisations that support low income families (British Red Cross, British heart foundation, Lewisham Hub, It takes a village) . In all cases the pram would have gone to those who need it most). I donated my Moses basket to the local Red Cross and it went to a local family.

You also assume the buyer, seller and charity shop doesn't contribute to locally in need groups in other ways.

So, it's not all one dimensional . Not all the onus is on the buyer, not all the issue is with the charity shop (which I of course am glad get the money to support the cause)

Charity shops near me are extortionate.. but that's a different post..

Phormiumjester2 · 04/04/2022 12:43

@juliainthedeepwater

I think this is interesting! We are financially well off and I recently have felt too guilty to buy the 'best' kids' toys, clothes etc. in charity shops, as I just know there are lots of people who need an amazing bargain much more than me and for whom these things would mean a lot more. I would be a bit miffed by a wealthy person who didn't have this cross their mind, tbh. I do try and buy secondhand for environmental reasons but feel less guilty on ebay etc... I really think it's a sad sign of our times actually.
Playing devil's advocate- why feel less guilty on Ebay when you've deprived a charity of your ££ and potentially, a rich person has sold you their old pram when they didn't (by OPS standards) "need" the money?

If you want to look for problems with 2nd hand buying choices, you can find them everywhere. In reality, we need to stop looking for problems and just do it.

Poverty won't be stopped by people leaving stuff in a charity shop to help the deserving poor.

rocksonrocks · 04/04/2022 12:44
  • Presumably she was not the first or only person to see it and then purchase it? Therefore others had the chance to purchase it but did not?
  • Charity shops are by no means the only place to find a second hand pram.
  • Good on her for being environmentally aware.
  • When did we start judging who is rich or poor enough to shop in a charity shop?
  • Shame on you for assuming you understand her personal financial circumstances based on her profession alone.
TypicaIMe · 04/04/2022 12:44

@drpet49

Based on the responses here, if you can afford to buy food you are okay to use those community food banks right?
Food banks don't exist to make money for a charity. They are the charity.

Charity shops don't exist to provide affordable goods to those on low incomes. They exist to raise as much money as possible, for charity.

Namesrus · 04/04/2022 12:45

In my work (SW) I encounter a lot of mums to be on low incomes. We get offered a lot of good quality second hand items including buggies and we often have to turn away people wanting to donate because we are jam packed. Most of our mums don’t want second hand they might have gone without themselves as a child but believe the whole Facebook/ instagram world where new branded goods are seen as best for their baby. I would love to see celebrities/ influencers being filmed showing the good things you can get from charity shops to encourage our mums to do the same and realise there is no stigma. We also have two local charities that we can visit with our clients, that they can get stuff at no cost, and both these local charities are out the door with buggies, travel systems etc that people donate in order for local families to get these items without having to even pay charity shop prices. There is no shortage of second hand buggies believe me.

ColouringPencils · 04/04/2022 12:46

Not only is she using her platform to normalise charity shops as a place to buy baby gear, but as a charity shopper herself she will probably be dropping off a bag of barely worn baby clothes every six months, which then others can go on to buy. Many of us who shop in charity shops also donate a fair amount too. And her cast-offs will probably be better than most!

The more we normalise reusing and recycling and make throw-away items a thing of the past, the better it is for everyone.

Gilly12345 · 04/04/2022 12:48

I see your point of view, however charity shops can’t ban people because they may be rich and have enough money to buy new.

rocksonrocks · 04/04/2022 12:51

@drpet49

Based on the responses here, if you can afford to buy food you are okay to use those community food banks right?
Absolutely ridiculous, stupid comparison. Not only are food banks means tested but I doubt anyone in their right mind would try to play the system in this way. Buying a secondhand item that literally any person could purchase is not remotely the same.
Abraxan · 04/04/2022 12:52

I've seen the post you are likely referring to on Instagram.

That's £50 the charity gets. The main aim of a charity shop is to provide funds for the charity. Anyone should be welcome to donate to them abd to purchase from them.

If more wealthy people openly buy second hand then it can help reduce the stigma of buying second hand.

Second hand is also better for the planet.

The child in question isn't a small baby so the pram will only be needed for a relatively short time. Would be a waste to buy a brand new expensive one really. And when done they might also be able to donate it back to the shop or pass it in again.

MurmuratingStarling · 04/04/2022 12:53

@TabithaTittlemouse

Should we show our wage slips at the door before entering a charity shop?
This. ^ And should people who are on state benefits people bring a letter from the DWP to prove they're in receipt of benefits? And should people who work - but are on low pay and in receipt of working tax credits - bring their 'tax credits award notice.'

What a ludicrous idea @CricutKeeno to stop people who are fairly well-off financially using charity shops! What next? Stop people buying stuff in sales? Stop them getting discount vouchers at the checkout? Refuse them any kind of offer for the trains or any flights or hotels? Where do you draw the line?

Daft.

Antarcticant · 04/04/2022 12:54

As a regular user of charity shops. I have noticed lately a lot more young, fashionable people shopping in them - teens and early twenties - which is lovely to see. I hope it points towards charity shopping becoming more fashionable.

NerrSnerr · 04/04/2022 12:54

Charity shops are for anyone to buy from. I buy most of my things second hand and I sell/ donate unwanted stuff. Both of the prams and buggies we had were left outside our house with a note saying please help yourself. Both got taken within the hour.

What annoys me is when people try ti give things away on FB and say 'pram, for someone who really needs is/ can't afford new one' as if someone is going to message saying 'yes- I'm poor can I have it'.

I think more people in need would buy second hand, take free stuff if it wasn't viewed as just for poor people.

Abraxan · 04/04/2022 12:56

@drpet49

Based on the responses here, if you can afford to buy food you are okay to use those community food banks right?
It's in no way similar.

The purpose of a charity shop is to raise funds for the charity.

The purpose of a food bank is to provide essential food and drink to those who cannot afford it.

VyeBrator · 04/04/2022 12:58

It's worth remembering that prams are a very popular item when it comes to charity shop donations, and most charity shops (around here anyway) are limited when it comes to storage space. So the more people that buy them the better it is.

Tiredalwaystired · 04/04/2022 12:58

Oh don’t be ridiculous! Perhaps people with money shouldnt shop at Aldi or Lidl either?

Charity shops are there to make money for the charity. If they achieve that, job done. Any efforts to reuse and recycle should be applauded. The other option is make no more waste by buying new (including all that packaging!)

Also charity shops allow you to buy stuff no longer in production which is nice.

Prams can be redonated after use. That pram could go through the charity shop system a dozen times to all sorts of people

Also how are you going to police it? Check for a gold Amex card before entry? Or make people show benefits books on the way in?

Either way you’ll cut down the income for the charity and ultimately put them out of business meaning everyone loses.

MurmuratingStarling · 04/04/2022 13:00

@drpet49

Based on the responses here, if you can afford to buy food you are okay to use those community food banks right?

@rocksonrocks

Absolutely ridiculous, stupid comparison. Not only are food banks means tested but I doubt anyone in their right mind would try to play the system in this way. Buying a second-hand item that literally any person could purchase is not remotely the same.

THIS. Talking about well-off people BUYING from charity shops, and saying it's akin to them getting food FREE from a food bank is stupid!.. Some people do chat some crap honestly! Hmm

juliainthedeepwater · 04/04/2022 13:02

@Phormiumjester2

Yeah, I completely agree overall about the ebay thing. I suspect for me it's the (semi) illusion that on ebay there is an endless quantity of bargainous stuff, so it's ok for me to snaffle some, whereas often in charity shops there are a few stand out items which hit my guilt buttons much harder. I think I generally feel very guilty and sad about the crazy inequality of wealth in this country and it's a bit of a trigger point. But of course agree that you can't really go wrong buying secondhand and giving to charity!

MrsMoastyToasty · 04/04/2022 13:03

People become rich (unless inherited/gifted money) by being careful with their money in the first place. She may just be continuing to do so.

Minatrina · 04/04/2022 13:05

I grew up with a mum who didn't have the money to buy us new clothes. All our stuff came from local jumble sales - charity shops were a little too expensive for her liking to be honest!

As an adult who is not "rich" but certainly no longer poor, I still always buy from the jumbles and charity shops (my mother thinks me rather frivolous). Hell will freeze over before I buy things new! Never have done so why should I start now?

woodhill · 04/04/2022 13:13

@TabithaTittlemouse

Some of the most snobby views that I’ve heard regarding charity shops are from some of the least well off people that I know.
Ditto
GraceandMolly · 04/04/2022 13:16

Of course she can buy from a charity shop. Just because someone has money, doesn’t mean they have to spend it buying everything new. There’s more than enough second hand available for everyone.

LadyMacduff · 04/04/2022 13:20

I think we should all buy second hand where possible because there is an awful lot of waste.

The purpose of a charity shop is to make money for the charity.