Instigating divorce after 38 years ...

[UsuallyHappy43]

I have been married for 38 years to a man who provides well financially but emotionally is cold and dismissive of any feelings I may have. I have had enough and want out. If you have left un the same circumstances what is the process and how can it be done smoothly? It scares me tbh and it's what has kept me in this marriage for so long. I am retired and all income now is via our savings and my husbands pension (substantial). Thank you for any advice you can give me.

Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? Does he know you want to divorce? If he agrees its for the best it could make things alot easier. A split of assets is what is at stake here as I imagine any children are now adults?
Most people take legal advice as the first step so making an appointment with a solicitor is probably the way to find out where you stand financially. Its a long marriage so you will be just as invited to any assets as him.

Thank you. No, I haven't spoken to him, although I think he suspects something is wrong. He won't want a divorce, as he knows he'd struggle alone. He is very hard to talk to, as he dismisses my feelings as me being daft. Then walks away. Yes, children grown up and married themselves. The easiest option is to stay and put up with it all. But I know I'd be so much happier without him.

If you are in England this may be helpful

www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/lifestyle/family-and-parenting/new-no-fault-divorce-laws-in-england-explained-3629788

I left XH after 40 years and paid for a divorce via wikivorce. Sadly, due to his agression - hauled in by the police - he launched the action in France.
It's doable. As a last resort you could file online via the court at Bury St Edmonds.

Thank you both, that article was really helpful. I will look into Wikivorce too.