*may be triggering *Need some advice on something my child has disclosed to me

[TweeterandtheMonkeyman]

I’ve debated all day on my own with what to do about this - some advice needed.
My child has told me today (after me happening to overhear a conversation between siblings) that he saw a swimming instructor’s penis under water at a swimming lesson (they can’t remember which lesson, we go weekly). He said it was on the outside / over the top of the man’s shorts. Dc was telling it to sibling as a funny story , but was embarrassed when telling me , it was when DC was swimming under water to the steps to climb out of the pool . This person is not my child’s swimming instructor, he teaches the youngest children. My dc said “I think it had come out by accident”.
I have some more to say about this, regarding the instructor … but I’d like some advice first on what to do with this information. Could this have been accidental? I absolutely believe my child as he is not one to make up a story , he is very factual. Also , I think it must have shocked him to be mentioning the incident a good few weeks (I think) after it occurred.

I would call the NSPCC for advice on who to report this to immediately. Alternatively contact your local council safeguarding team. Swim school should have a safeguarding officer.

Sorry this has happened op. It could be innocent, but also not.
Not sure what I'd do in this situation, probably swim elsewhere but I'm mainly commenting to bump the thread for you.

Oh jeez op, I'm no expert on men's swimshorts but I can't see how that could happen accidentally and him not be aware of it...
Could you contact NSPCC for advice?

Please don’t just move and say nothing. It could be absolutely innocent, it could be a mistake but it could also be an important piece in a safeguarding jigsaw puzzle.

Thanks . I’m not actually worried about my own dc , they swim right at the other end of the pool with a lovely instructor . I’m just worried about the children he does teach . And I’m worried about ruining someone’s life/ career if it was innocent. I just don’t see how / why his penis would be out - and I would think swimming instructors of young kids would be very aware and avoid this happening?

Write down what he said word for word and phone the police. Saying it was a swimming instructor at the pool who whilst teaching appears to have his penis on the outside. Report it as a serious safeguarding risk. Let them deal with it. Do not brush it out if history. This is not your responsibility to deal with - report and let the police and swimming pool deal with it.

@iamruth I agree . So maybe NSPCC ?

Thanks @IAMGE

Phone nspcc for advice. Write down what your child says so you remember it accurately

@IAMGE

Write down what he said word for word and phone the police. Saying it was a swimming instructor at the pool who whilst teaching appears to have his penis on the outside. Report it as a serious safeguarding risk. Let them deal with it. Do not brush it out if history. This is not your responsibility to deal with - report and let the police and swimming pool deal with it.

This. Excellent advice.

Yes NSPCC, police or local council children’s safeguarding team will all be able to help with what to do. I appreciate that you don’t want to make a mistake but that is someone else’s job to decide. As others have said, write down exactly what you child said and just say you want to share safeguarding concerns.

@SmallChange11

Oh jeez op, I'm no expert on men's swimshorts but I can't see how that could happen accidentally and him not be aware of it... Could you contact NSPCC for advice?

This. I can’t see a way this could possibly be accidental, or that he could be unaware of it.

Don’t minimise it or question your instincts, OP. @IAMGE’s advice is excellent.

Thanks all. I will pass it on .. I feel awful about it but my instinct is that it’s the right thing to do .

Penis's don't just pop out of proper swim shorts, unless he was wearing a totally inappropriate type, which is problematic in itself.
This needs to be reported.

I agree with calling the police and reporting. It is highly unlikely to be an accidental thing

There’s a reason I agree with bypassing the swimming pool management and going straight to the police, btw, OP -

Some years ago my sister witnessed something very disturbing at our local, council-run leisure centre. In the big unisex changing/shower area, she watched a man repeatedly leave a changing cubicle to use the shower each time a class of young children came in from the pool (hers were in 3 separate classes). He’d then return to the cubicle, only to come out and get back in the communal shower 5 mins later when the next bunch of kids were in there, mingling in with them. He couldn’t have used the pool as it was lesson time, and had no child with him.

She called him out on it but he just went back into the cubicle and locked himself in, so she went up to the reception desk. The manager and staff treated her like she was a nutcase and basically threw their hands up, “what do you expect us to do about it, it’s not illegal for him to have a shower”, etc.

Six months later a 7 yr old girl was seriously sexually assaulted in those changing rooms.

Definitely involve the police.

I agree about bypassing pool. I’ve reported safeguarding concerns before and got nowhere.