How does your 8 year old entertain themselves?

[ToiletGambles]

Stepson is here for the weekend as he usually is, the last few weekends he has been absolutely obsessed with electronics, he arrived with a PS5, phone and a tablet this week. If he's asked to come off an electronic he's saying he's bored 5 minutes later, asking for noney for games in them, can't seem to entertain himself without one even though he has a room full of lego etc. Genuine question, is this just how 8 year olds are now? What do yours do other than electronics? Are they allowed free rein on electronics? He seems to have that at home. Before anyone says anything this I am not bashing him or his mother, he's a lovely boy and that's down to her mainly as she is RP.

Dd has a phone and a switch but rarely bothers with either. I am not massively strict but I do take them off her after a couple of hours.

She will draw, read, do lego, we have a trampoline and swing set in the garden that she plays on.

We go for walks and visit local attractions (have annual passes) etc.

8 is still young to self regulate. You need to intervene and suggest alternatives to the electronics.

I think there is a real difference between boys and girls at this age. Dd and her friends who are girls all still play with toys, do craft activities, play pretend, etc. All the boys are now into gaming and football and are no longer interested in toys.

DS1 was like this at that age, but it can also be a feature of them being at the "other house" with less access to their usual activities - toys, friends, siblings etc.

It's the weekend - do you have anything planned for the day? Walk, trip to park, skate park, swimming, free museum, farm park, cinema?

Or something he can do in the house - help with a DIY or maintenance task? Baking? Colouring/crafts? Activity books like "How to draw comics" etc?

Limits on the electronics help. But when they are used to a lot of stimulation from electronic toys or other children around then it can be hard for them to know how to self-start. You can help by suggesting activities (or just announcing right, we're going to do X today, and making everyone get ready). Once they are in the habit of that they will start asking you to do stuff. It doesn't need to be expensive or fancy. What did you do at that age? Maybe you can introduce him to your old hobbies? Are there cousins on your side you could meet up with? Friends with similar aged children?

My 8 year old is roblox obsessed and would play all day if I allowed.

He’s very crafty as well though so when screen time is over he’ll write stories, draw, colour, make collages etc. or he’s outside in the garden on the trampoline, bike etc.

He doesn’t play with any toys now. Could spend a fair bit of time with fidget things though.

I have a 7 year old ds, he uses his dad's ps5 sometimes but at the moment we've removed it and his behaviour is much better. He doesn't have a phone or tablet, there is absolutely no way an 8 year old needs any/all of those devices.

My ds spends hours drawing, playing Lego, watching cartoons for a bit before he gets bored of staying relatively still, reading, dressing up in different costumes, on the trampoline, kicking a football, etc.

My son is 7.5 and doesn’t have a switch etc. He does have a tablet which he can’t use during the week but can at weekends but we do control the times, roughly three hours a day. He usually plays games for about an hr when he wakes up on the weekend and then in the afternoon after lunch watches a film or something on Netflix. He’s not brilliant at entertaining himself but loves a board game or scrabble or something. I keep them busy and active on a weekend morning so I don’t feel guilty about the screen time in the afternoon. Could you try the same? Does he like swimming/tennis/ice skating/climbing or something that can done at a local leslisure centre or trampolining park? For example our morning yesterday was swim lesson, library, went to a cafe for cinnamon buns, then onto a park with woods where we played hide and seek for a long time. By the time we’d got home we’d walked about 7-8k and they were knackered! Of course you may feel that is not your job do fo any of that and that would be right but only if you want to! This morning is more low key but my son is doing some snap circuits vaguely supervised by my husband and they’re going to do an obstacle course using bits and pieces.

Thank you everyone for the amazing advice, I will pass suggestions over to DH. We do try and go out every Saturday and do a local country park etc, he has plenty here to keep him entertained by way of lego, drawing, figures etc but I understand the suggestion about not being around his 'usual' things at his mums. He's such a good lad and really imaginative, seems like he just needs a bigger nudge to get off the devices. I like the idea of having a bit more structure in the day probably nicer for him to know what's going on as well. Obviously he will have a different routine at home.

He is past the age for playing on his own with toys. Are there other kids he can play with? If not you (mainly his DF of course) will need to do stuff with him. My DS is 7 and if I want to keep screen time down I have to engage with him or get him together with another same age child.

My 8yo DSS would do this if he could but isn't allowed here. He plays on the Switch a bit but certainly doesn't have free rein. He still plays with toys as well. I don't think it's appropriate for him to be sent with all those devices, his mum is overstepping in that regard.

I will say though, DSS increasingly doesn't want to come. I think his preference for his usual, youtube heavy lifestyle in the other household plays a big part in that. Personally I think it sounds like your DSS has far too much tech and time on it but the sad reality is that what they have in one house, they will expect in the other and it will affect your relationship with them.

Totally agree an 8 year old doesn't need all these things, DH didn't buy any of them. It's a hard age with them moving away from toys! I had commented on another thread the other day how sad it is that it's getting earlier. It will only be the same with my kids. Its only just been the past few weeks it's really ramped up, with summer approaching that will probably help with getting him outdoors more!

DS8 doesn’t have any screen limits. He likes to get his figures and film them on his ipad acting out the different things. He loves board games, you can get a family version of cards against humanity this is a firm fav.
He can spend hours writing out fact sheets on pokemon.

@aSofaNearYou

My 8yo DSS would do this if he could but isn't allowed here. He plays on the Switch a bit but certainly doesn't have free rein. He still plays with toys as well. I don't think it's appropriate for him to be sent with all those devices, his mum is overstepping in that regard.

I will say though, DSS increasingly doesn't want to come. I think his preference for his usual, youtube heavy lifestyle in the other household plays a big part in that. Personally I think it sounds like your DSS has far too much tech and time on it but the sad reality is that what they have in one house, they will expect in the other and it will affect your relationship with them.

We are having EXACTLY the same issues. Then DH looks like the bad one for not allowing the free rein on it making SS not want to come. It's so hard!

@TheYearOfSmallThings

He is past the age for playing on his own with toys. Are there other kids he can play with? If not you (mainly his DF of course) will need to do stuff with him. My DS is 7 and if I want to keep screen time down I have to engage with him or get him together with another same age child.

We live 40 miles away from his mum (so he can't really see a school friend) and don't know any similarly aged children, our friends all have younger kids. Not really much in the way of clubs on around here on weekends either! Will have a think though.

We live 40 miles away from his mum (so he can't really see a school friend) and don't know any similarly aged children

That is difficult, and will get more so as he gets older. If he is with you regularly, is there an activity he would like to attend while he's at your house (football, skateboard lessons, junior parkrun) where he would be with kids his age and get to know them? It might give some structure to his weekend too.

Things that have kept my 8 YO DS entertained recently:

Air drying clay, tie dying kit, local Pottery cafe (expensive!), paint at home ceramics, weekly session at private pool with inflatable and pool toys (pricey, but good for all of us).

Alternatively, more inclusive screen time like watching a film together (Star Wars, Harry Potter or LOTR back catalogues) or playing a racing game or Minecraft Dungeons together is a bit different to most of the time when he is involved in his own game.

I would take away the screens, push through the boredom complaints and wait for him to come out the other side.

The idea that 8 it too old to play with toys or play alone is absolute nonsense and quite a sad thought. It's a lie people tell themselves to justify the screen time their children have.

But that's with kids who are in the same place all the time, it must be much more difficult when you only have the child at the weekend.

Ds likes to read books and could spend ages writing scripts or making lists. Does not really play with toys much though.

I have a 10 yo boy but at 8 he would:
Play lego
Draw
Sometimes play with small toys like superzings, hot wheels, treasure x etc
Play football etc in the garden
Go on the trampoline
Play nerf wars
He would also sometimes play pretend games with his younger sister.
He was (and still is) also into gaming but we do restrict his time doing this and if he gets too obsessed make him take a break completely. I think most of his friends parents also do this, although some do seem to have completely free reign on screens!