Pros and cons of living with someone.

[Ilovetheseventies]

Just want your thoughts on living with your DP.
I was married for 18 years and I would say that most of it was good. Lots of benefits and we had three lovely children together. It felt secure.
I have been with my DP for almost five years and no sign of anything like living together happening. I am not sure if I could live with him anyway. Lately though I am thinking if I do not want to do I really want to stay in this relationship.
He lives with his daughter who is 28.
Lately I have just had this sinking feeling about the relationship.
Its not just the fact that he doesnt want to live with me its no talk of that ever happening.
Anyone else in this position.

I'm not in that position.
But thinking about pros and cons......

Obviously two people living together is a lot cheaper than 2 people living in separate places
and, when you love someone, it is lovely to wake up next to them every morning, and to just be able to sit and chat, or even sit in silence and just 'be' together, without having to make arrangements, and then one of you travel.

BUT
There are a lot of compromises when you live with someone - 101 seemingly minor things that are quirky or funny when you are passionately in love and first move in, but that are incredibly irritating once the annoyance at them is greater than the advantages you see to being together.

I actually know 2 couples who have a really longstanding relationship (I'm talking decades) without ever living together. I think it is odd. I don't think it would be for me. However, if it works for them, then it isn't anyone else's business. What is important here, is working out if it is what you still want to be doing next year, the year after, or in 5 years or 10 years time.