This is a very woe is me post. I've name changed as I haven't actually spoken to many people in real life about all this. This last week has just been a lot.
I am wide awake. Full of steroids and just trying to process the last week.
I was very unwell the previous week back and forth to the gp every day, eventually begging to be put into hospital. Was put up to an assessment ward, had to be alone because of covid, I was being violently sick and in serious amounts of pain. I waited for 4 hours initially. Taken through, they started assessing me but kept being interrupted finished being assessed and told I would need to stay.
It took 3 days for them to discover my bowels had perforated and that I was developing sepsis. I'm youngish and my relatively healthy body was doing its best to fight for me but it was very close.
I had emergency open surgery on Monday to remove part of my bowel.
It will be a long recovery. Moved wards at 2am again. This will be my 4th ward with different staff on each one in a week. I would really like to get back to the specialist ward but was moved from there after it became surgical.
I think I am on the right track but it is not going to be easy or a quick fix.
Different consultant saw me yesterday, barely looked at me and wanted to change the plan for me. The original plan had been made along with a consultant who has supported me through my IBD journey for seven years.
New guy admitted that it wasn't cost affective and that was his main issue. He also told me Crohns can be cured which I questioned.
Im just tired of having to fight every step of the way. Im tired of it all. Because of covid ward restrictions my young kids haven't seen me since Sunday. DH has an army of helpers and I will always be grateful to but this is just exhausting.
I think they will push to send me home tomorrow even though I can barely eat yet. I only started eating rice yesterday. I ate 4 spoonfuls. The first in food in over a week.
I have lost a shocking amount of weight.
But as im no longer at the life threatening bit, im going to have to muddle through, googling to help myself.
My husband will work from home, the kids are on holiday. I just need to get better.
Im usually a very upbeat, positive person but im too tired to motivate that instinct right now.
I worry a lot for anyone elderly or vulnerable at the moment. If you need an advocate to speak for you, support you, I think it will be difficult.
Anyway, I'm going to try and find a comfy spot and get some kind of sleep.