If you’re on a low income or disabled, how do you plan for your children’s futures?

[PackASmack]

I am disabled and unemployed due to chronic illness. I’m thinking about the future (as I have another ESA assessment looming).

I have a DH (low earner due to caring responsibility) and 2 children (plus 2 cats).
We rent our home.
We’re on a low income and we have some debts from during diagnosis time when life went to pot.
Neither of us have extended family and neither of us will inherit property or money. Our DC will obviously not inherit property from us.
We do have some scope to save a little each month.

We want to secure our children’s future to give them a boost, to get them on the property ladder when they’re older so they don’t face the same challenges we do.

What amount of savings would you think was reasonable to save for them over a period of 20 or 30 years to get them started in life?

Please no wild responses , we’re never going to match figures of people who own property and have six figure salaries

I think you need to be realistic about your situation and what you can afford to save. While it's lovely to be able to help children get on the property ladder, it's not an essential. The most important thing is that you use the money you have to live comfortably - enough decent food, warm home, clothing and ideally you're able to afford a few treats and days out to make your lives more enjoyable. If after all that you're able to put a bit away, then that's brilliant, but I don't see any point 8n setting yourself a goal that's likely t9 be unobtainable?

I'm a single parent and not in a positon to support my young adult DC with any more than £100 occasionally if they're struggling. It would be great to give them a deposit to buy a house but that's just not going to happen so they realise they need to make their own way in the world, just as I have.

You have to be very careful about the amount that you keep in savings as the more you have saved the less the government will help you

It depends where you live, really. There are parts of the country where £5,000 each would be a really decent contribution to a deposit on their first flat. Not so much in London.

I’d just aim to do the best you can whilst, as a previous poster says, the saving isn’t to the detriment of them having a comfortable home and an enriching childhood now.

@PackASmack I completely agree with @VioletCharlotte - use what you need in your current situation. Anything you are able to save on top of that then great 😊 please don’t compare with what others are able to do.

My parents are renters on a low income and Weren’t able to help me financially at all after I left school and I’ve turned out fine 😊

I wouldn’t worry about it, my parents couldn’t help me financially but I became a high earner in my own right so now I can help them for raising me. It sounds like it will be difficult for you to save so I would look at what you can realistically afford but put in an accessible account so that you can also use it for your needs if something comes up in the future.

I personally think it would be more beneficial to put any savings into buying your home.

I just feel so sad about it . More so as we are the paupers of the wider family (we have no close extended family) and are judged harshly for having nothing to hand down to the DC.

We don’t want our DC to be resentful of us for not being able to help them .

Unfortunately they will always have friends whose parents are able to give them more, but hopefully they will not resent you and understand that earning s are lowers because of illness which is not something you can control. I was having a discussion along similar lines with my young adult son recently and he was saying how much he felt bad for one of his friends whose parents cannot help him but that was more because his mum had never worked in 23 years since having her last child, not because of illness.
If you can save even small amount say £50 a month it soon adds up. We did this for ours although we have 4. Our eldest still managed to blow it all in a couple of months when he turned 18 and had access to it, so if you do save then perhaps save it in an account where they can't access it until they are a bit older, or save it in your names although that may affect any means tested benefits you claim yourself.

You don't have to have cold hard cash to hand over to your teen/young adult. Many people with decent incomes can't provide that.

But you could provide in other ways (and likely already are) - lots of time together reading, homework, etc. Space in your home they can stay in as adults to save. Try and instill in them a love of learning so they embrace it as they grow. Talk to them in age appropriate ways about how everything they work hard at now will benefit them in the future etc etc.

I buy lottery tickets 😉

Serious answer : saved a tenner a month each into a child stocks and shares. Ours were opened by the government for £250 back in the day. I also put in birthday, Xmas money, and anything I had spare at the end of the month. Tbh most months I had £zero spare. The tenners I put in via direct debit at the start of the month. Eldest's dropped loads at the start of pandemic but not to the extent there was less than I'd put in, and now things have righted themselves in the stock market it's around £5k. Hopefully the younger one will get the same. It's easier to do it with the money going out automatically at the start of the month or if your sole income is benefits then whatever day you get your biggest payment in. Even with that there were a few months I missed. Whatever, just do what you can.

They don't do child trust funds any more but there are child stocks and shares ISAs.

Or there are child regular savings accounts. Obviously those don't pay as well, you just get interest which rn isn't much, but there's no danger of losing money either. Tenner a month for 18 years plus the interest will give them comfortably over £2k, more if you put in any birthday and Xmas money. That's enough for driving lessons and down payment on a car.

Good luck OP.

We all have a level of intelligence but how it and we as children are nurtured or not can really affect life outcomes.

The absolute best thing any of us can do for any child is let them know they are truly loved. It gives a security that no amount of money can buy.

Regardless of what you read on MN many people are not financially assisted by their parents.

If I thought my DS would be resentful that we couldn’t or wouldn’t help him I would be questioning myself.

Encourage them to take their education seriously, work hard and follow their talents and passions. They can then make their own future.

I have no savings for me or my son. I use any spare money I have to enrich his life now. I figure that he'll have the best future outcome if he has the best rounded life I can give him now. So he gets to do different music classes, different sports classes, visits places of interest, new experiences etc. Basically tries as much as we can afford so that he finds his path and that will mean success in the future.