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Original poster

To spend an eye watering sum on kitchen or not?

40 replies

TerraMirabilis · 31/03/2022 04:24

Appreciate that this is a very first world problem but it's keeping me up at night so I'm turning to the wisdom of Mumsnet.

We've lived in our house for nearly a decade and the kitchen and dining room were far from newly decorated when we moved in. For example, I know the dishwasher is from no later than 2005 because that's when they stopped making that model. Everything works - just about - but it's very shabby, not just dated. High time for a renovation.

For most of the time we've lived here, DH has been getting a doctorate which finally finished a couple of years of years ago and he's now working and earning well. While he was studying there was no question of being able to afford renovations but now our financial situation is much better.

DH is making a very good wage and is likely to make much more over time. I'm doing pretty well too and have had several payrises in the last couple of years. I say this not to boast but to explain that we do have the income to afford an expensive kitchen renovation that will give us a stunning kitchen and dining room that's high quality and will last for many years.

My dilemma is whether to pull the trigger on the plans we've been working on with a local design/build firm. We have to decide very soon. I've already refinanced the mortgage and borrowed extra money to cover the cost of the work. If we don't go ahead I can return the excess to the bank without penalty.

I'm just really struggling with committing to spending the money. The renovation will make a big improvement to our home and we plan to stay here long term. It'll really upgrade the house. But it's soooo much money.

It's really messing with my mind to think of spending so much and to be paying it back for the next 15 years. I didn't grow up in a family that could or would spend this kind of money and it makes me feel a bit strange, like I'm not the sort of person who does this. Even though logically we can afford it and it is high time that we spent some real money on the house. DH wants to go ahead but he's not as sensible about money as I am.

Any helpful advice? Shock

OP posts:
florianfortescue · 31/03/2022 04:46

I suppose my immediate question would be - if you're having to borrow money to pay for it, can you really afford it? Would it not be better to save up the cash so you can pay for it outright?

And financing aside, would there be a way of renovating it more cheaply? Could you look at cheaper options if paying for an expensive kitchen is making you feel anxious?

Tidlo · 31/03/2022 04:53

How much is it?

Original poster
TerraMirabilis · 31/03/2022 05:03

About 100 k in sterling. This is for a total gut renovation of the two rooms and covers all fixtures and fittings and the labour including taking down a wall and doing work to support the upper floors of the house so they don't fall down once the wall is gone. We're in a booming part of the US so labour costs are high too.

Given the dire state of the kitchen and how long we've been waiting, waiting several more years to save up isn't an option I'm okay with. Plus I got a great rate on the loan. It's more a question of whether to go for the full Monty or do something much more modest but which won't ultimately address the layout issues which are why we want to take down the wall. Moving isn't a great option because there's not much out there to buy and people are paying over the odds imo.

OP posts:

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pitterpatterrain · 31/03/2022 05:34

I didn't grow up in a family that could or would spend this kind of money and it makes me feel a bit strange, like I'm not the sort of person who does this.

This resonates. We did some building work a couple of years ago now, and it was well worth it. But agreed: it can feel really mentally odd when you compare to childhood and what was “spendy” from then.

No particular advice - the only thing I could do was recognise the discomfort and go with it (as we def needed to do the refurb and we had bought the place with that in mind)

violetbunny · 31/03/2022 05:34

That does seem like a huge amount. For me it would boil down to whether you're likely to see much return on that amount of money if you needed to sell the house. Otherwise could you replace the kitchen without changing the layout for now, and then look to move in a year or two?

Ozgirl75 · 31/03/2022 06:01

We had a similar decision a few years ago - take out an old shabby kitchen and replace it without changing the “footprint” or go for a full rip out and replace (at double the cost). We went back and forth for ages before settling on the re-do and for us, it was definitely the right decision. The new kitchen is SO amazing, works so well, the layout has transformed the room and made the kitchen such a focal point of the house. So for us it was totally worth it. However, we saved for two years to do it, we’re not fond of borrowing for home renovations but I appreciate we’re in the minority.

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 31/03/2022 06:01

@TerraMirabilis

About 100 k in sterling. This is for a total gut renovation of the two rooms and covers all fixtures and fittings and the labour including taking down a wall and doing work to support the upper floors of the house so they don't fall down once the wall is gone. We're in a booming part of the US so labour costs are high too.

Given the dire state of the kitchen and how long we've been waiting, waiting several more years to save up isn't an option I'm okay with. Plus I got a great rate on the loan. It's more a question of whether to go for the full Monty or do something much more modest but which won't ultimately address the layout issues which are why we want to take down the wall. Moving isn't a great option because there's not much out there to buy and people are paying over the odds imo.

If you are planning on staying in the house long term, then you should do it now as you can enjoy it, live it so to speak.

If the area is booming then you should not loose money.

Make peace with it, and enjoy the fruits of your hard work over the years.

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 31/03/2022 06:04

Also, 100k in certain parts of the States is kind of normal for that type of thing. Mad huh?!

TrueNorthStrongAndFree · 31/03/2022 06:13

I think it depends on the value of your house. 100k sounds like a lot - but it isn't if your house is worth a couple of million- which isn't unusual where I live. Living in North America (admittedly not the US) it would cost me at least $100k to move house - for realtor fees, taxes, moving costs etc. so I would definitely be spending the money you've been quoted to avoid moving - assuming you like everything else about your current house.
I don't think your quote sounds unreasonable for what you've been quoted - especially I would anticipate it adding value to your house in the long run.

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 31/03/2022 06:14

I would do it. Making such a huge change will transform your house and how you feel when you're in it. Life is short, have a home you love if you can.

Also, think how much you'd have to spend if you chose to move instead. And also think about how much your home would be worth once you've made the change - I would imagine you'd make at least some of it back in the house valuation.

Do it!

LndnGrl · 31/03/2022 07:47

I wouldn't spend 100k on a kitchen. For that I'd want it to shop, cook and clean etc by itself.

reluctantbrit · 31/03/2022 08:14

Depends on your long-term plans.

I would as we plan to stick to our current house and we spend a lot of money making some rooms the way we like them, even if others can't understand it.

It's not just the kitchen, it's a huge building work as it changes the floorplan as well.

Friends did it and I love what they created. We didn't have the space but their new kitchen/dining/den room is worth the money and time spend on it.

Alfixnm · 31/03/2022 08:25

We did something similar and it transformed our house and how we live in it. It was worth it totally.

You need to reframe your thinking here. It's not 100k on 'a kitchen'. It's 100k on a major home renovation. Which will presumably not only improve your experience of living in and enjoying your home, but will also add a lot of value to your house long term.

You're both high earners who expect your incomes to keep increasing, you've planned this for years, you have already got loans arranged and the plans drawn up. It sounds like literally the only thing stopping you is giving yourself "permission". And if you don't do it now, what's the plan then? Never do it? It sounds like that's not an option either.

Swallow your childhood guilt, enjoy the fact that you've worked hard and earned this, and absolutely do it!!

Monkeybutt1 · 31/03/2022 08:31

We are literally in the last few days of renovations to extend our downstairs and make it all open plan. When all is done, including buying furniture we will have spent not far off 100K. Some from re-mortgaging and some from our savings. I felt the same as you, its scary spending that much money but now we are almost done I am so happy we took the plunge. The house is much better for us and we will now be able to stay here in our forever home.
If you can afford it, do it. You have been thinking about it for a long time so you are as sure as you can be its the right thing.
Just be mindful that you will probably go over budget. We have gone about 7K over what we planned, not loads in the grand scheme but something to bear in mind.

waterlego · 31/03/2022 08:31

I wouldn’t want to be paying off home renovations for 15 years, personally. That seems out of proportion.

TizerorFizz · 31/03/2022 08:41

We spent a lot more than that when we remodelled! And that was 12 years ago. It’s a big house though and worth a lot due to location.

I haven’t regretted it. I love my house and what we did. £100,000 (assuming your house is worth a decent amount) is good value for an improved lifestyle.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 31/03/2022 08:58

It's a shocking amount of money left but if that's what it costs even without gold plated appliances ans you can afford it when I'd go for it. You are paying for quality of life and if you sell you will see some return on your investment.

ZenNudist · 31/03/2022 09:16

Well if you live in a £1m house then 100k on kitchen may be more reasonable but proportionately I wouldn't say a £500k house truly warrants £50k kitchen. It depends on whether it's going to add value to your house. If I spent that much I wouldn't add £100k value to my house so I'd probably spend max £20k but I know building work costs a fortune.
Seems to me that all the idiots putting building work on the mortgage are the ones putting the prices up. If people spent what they could afford prices wouldn't be unaffordable. But we are where we are. Decent builders are in short supply.

There's also the older generation with lots of money willing to spend it and the younger generations with less having to keep up with prices. It's overwhelming.

GrannyBloomers · 31/03/2022 09:45

It's not just a kitchen though - from the sounds of it, there is remodelling going on.

100k for a kitchen refit is expensive but not wholly unreasonable for some houses. In your case, there are structural modifications being made too and two rooms are involved.

There is a question of whether the house will be worth 100k more when the work is done, if so it's worth doing if you will reap the benefit. But if not, if you will see many years of benefit, it is also worth doing.

muppamup · 31/03/2022 09:49

Your reticence sounds like you're not quite there and there must be a reason for that. I would go for something new but maybe at a lesser expense. Anything new at this stage would be an improvement. It doesn't need to be super expensive. You can get good quality at a lesser price, second hand etc. Or find ways to do it a bit cheaper. I don't think you will be bothered later.

TheDuchessOfMN · 31/03/2022 09:55

It’s not a “kitchen” though, it’s a renovation. It’s modernizing your home, increasing your living space, increasing the value.
You’re planning on staying there long term.

I would do it. I know it’s a very strange feeling when you were living so frugally, but you’ve said so yourself that you can afford it.

kmbegs · 31/03/2022 09:56

Can you get the house valued now and ask how much value the renovations would add? That's what we did and how we got comfortable spending so much. We now know that (obviously market dependant) if we needed or wanted to sell it would still be money well spent.

LittleMy77 · 31/03/2022 10:08

We had a similar dilemma (and cost) and weighed up for ages. we ended up going with a local bespoke kitchen place and 6 months on I don't regret it 1 bit

Every bit of space was used as we got custom fit cupboards so we got everything we wanted plus a ton of storage

it'll last for years, so I think worth it

MuggleMadness · 31/03/2022 10:09

@CanIPleaseHaveOne

Also, 100k in certain parts of the States is kind of normal for that type of thing. Mad huh?!
No different than the U.K.!
MuggleMadness · 31/03/2022 10:12

@LndnGrl

I wouldn't spend 100k on a kitchen. For that I'd want it to shop, cook and clean etc by itself.
It's not just 'on a kitchen'