Worrying year 1 parents evening feedback

[catsheepteacher]

We recently went to parents' evening for our eldest child, who is in year 1.

I'll probably sound a bit PFB here but I was expecting pretty positive feedback. Obviously I'm biased, but to me DD seems to be getting on really well:

• She loves reading and sails through the books she brings home with no issues.
• We go to the library regularly and she chooses "chapter books" (90+ pages) which she reads at home independently.
• She gets 12 spellings to learn every week (which seem pretty challenging to me - words like adorable, eighty and applause) and gets close to full marks in her tests.
• She does her maths homework in no time with very little support.

However, the feedback we got wasn't glowing at all. We were told that she is meeting the expected standard on reading (but not exceeding) but below expected standards in both maths and writing. Apparently she doesn't use finger spaces and full stops consistently in writing, and often needs help to come up with ideas for her stories. But more worryingly, in maths she's apparently on an "extra support table" as she needs help to understand the questions and work through them, and they are not sure if she is on track to meet the expected standard by the end of the year.

This was a total shock and I'm really disappointed that nobody has mentioned before that she needs extra support with maths. I'm also confused because it doesn't match up with what I see, which is a bright, able child (accepting that there's probably some PFB bias going on there).

I'm not sure what to do next. DH thinks I'm overreacting but I would like a second opinion to properly understand what the issue is so am considering getting a tutor who can assess her and give us more feedback on what exactly she is finding difficult. I'm also going to push for more regular catch ups with the school to keep track of her progress. The teacher mentioned several times that she lacks confidence and needs to build her resilience so I'm also wondering if I should sign her up for something which might help her develop her skills in this area e.g. a drama club.

Feeling that I've let my DD down by assuming she was sailing through with no issues. And really disappointed that her school don't seem to be seeing what I see

I was advised last year to send my DD private last year. I didn't want to move her from her friends and from our local school. I'm delighted with our choice not to move her. A full (fingers crossed) year of mostly undisrupted education, is working. She's coming on in all areas, not just academically, but socially too. I can see that the disruption of moving school would probably have just compounded the disruption of the previous two years. Plus it would have been a £100k commitment for the rest of primary school.

Hey OP I had a shy one too and here is what I did and my mistakes. In reception DD was getting okay grades in school but I was a little puzzled because she seems a bit more capable. Turns out she loved her teacher but was terrified of getting things wrong so she never really tried and at first I attempted to push her. Our first week of homeschool (we actually started before lockdown to get her a bit ahead) was a real eye-opener. She would just say she doesn’t know and she just looked at me with these eyes and I knew her pain. When I was a kid I was exceptionally bright but the anxiety it caused me was awful. I remember studying for my year 2 SATS and my mum told me I would beg her for guidebooks and sit at the table for HOURS and she never once made me, I insisted. I remember crying at getting only 98% in a test and by secondary school I was burned out. I never did homework because of the knots in my stomach and I ended up failing my A Levels. I didn’t want this for her so I put her books down and we spent the first couple weeks learning it was okay to fail. I told her about the mistakes I made at work, often. She was amazed I made them and by the end of it she would shrug her shoulders and try again. Last week we had a parent-teacher meeting and she is actually doing slightly worse but will happily put her hand up and makes friends easily. Now she we have an unshakeable confidence, we will try again with extra work in the summer but only because she is ready. Take the teacher’s guidance for sure but only if you think she can be pushed right now. I love your swimming idea; you must me a very kind mummy/daddy/guardian. If that’s what you think she needs then you go for it.

When my DD was in year 1 we had the same feed back, she also hates making mistakes and since then she has been diagnosed with SEN. Now that she knows she isn't stupid (yes she actually said that to me) she has worked really hard and is only behind in her handwriting (waiting for a Dyslexia assesment).
A couple of questions OP when you do work with her at home is it in a quiet area or is it noisy like it would be at school? Also do you sit with her or leave her to it?
My DD does find it harder to concentrate at school because there is a lot going on and for a couple of years she would only do her work if there was an adult at school to sit at the side of her in case she needed help (we had to break her of this). Just like your DD my DD is very clever (not just me that has said this everyone who has met her always says the same include hv's) she just struggles at school getting it down on paper.

One last thing OP sit down and talk to your DD, tell her you know she is clever and can do xyz so why does she struggle at school? Tell her aren't angry or upset, you just want to understand so you can help her. It all depends on her answer where you go from here. My DD used to say a mix of I don't know and my hands hurt before being diagnosed with SEN (the I don't know part) and hypermobility (the my hands hurt part). Dont panic too much at this stage, stay calm and communicate with your DD.

I think you are right to get her assessed by a tutor to see where the gaps in her knowledge are and what she finds difficult. This doesn't mean you need to fork out for regular tuition unless you want to and at this age you might be able to manage it yourself. What I would be annoyed with is school only letting you know that there are issues now, had they mentioned she was struggling with comprehension you could have worked on it yourself. It's also incredibly hard when it is your pfb because you have no knowledge of schools processes.

We've had very little contact with my child's school but they did do a phonecard with parents in the new year at which I discussed how my eldest was getting on and if there was anything I could help her with. It's important to get that feedback and I remember when I was at school we would get term reports.

You need to work on writing skills. It's a simple thing but it can seriously take you from meeting to exceeding expectations.

Talk to your child about the books they read. Ask questions about the chapter they've read, listen to them read, ask them to summarize the story so far, ask what a word means. You could also ask them to find verbs, nouns, adjectives or adverbs in a paragraph. This will boost them up from being average.

As for Maths, I would doubt that all the students get given the same worksheet for homework, sorry. Get a KS1 maths workbook and see what they can do. Maybe in class they need things explained to understand them, but then have no problem with the work itself. The workbook will help you see areas where they struggle.

Is it possible there's a mix up with your child and someone else's with a similar name

I must be out of touch, I'm honestly stunned that they're expecting this sort of level in Year 1.

@Devora13

I must be out of touch, I'm honestly stunned that they're expecting this sort of level in Year 1.

Depressing, isn't it? They should be still enjoying time painting on easels with poster paints and colouring in between short bits of writing, a bit of reading to the teacher and singing songs about foxes and daffodils, not fronting adverbials and meeting arbitrary targets that are inappropriate for half the class because they're six months younger than the target level age.

No time for childhood in the English Education system, that's the problem.

Targets, progress, data, levels, constant homework and they are what, 5? 6?
Good god. I'm going to struggle when DD 2.5 goes to school. And I'm a secondary school teacher.

I feel so depressed.

They do seem to do all that too though - DD is Y1 and has PE twice a week plus forest school afternoon, plus an avalanche of artwork appears!

It's not the teacher's fault, though. Ridiculous curriculum and standards set by the department for Education and ofsted mean these little children are constantly pushed to do things they aren't ready for.

If the class don't meet their data targets the teacher could find themselves without a pay rise (to progress up the pay scale) as a result of performancemanagement. Or on a 'support plan' aka capability procedures. All highly stressful.