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Original poster

Would you rather have more disposable income or larger family home?

117 replies

Lovinglife45 · 30/03/2022 13:32

I was speaking to a friend the other day. She lives in a large five bed house on a pretty street, good schools nearby, a beautiful park. Friend and her dh stretched themselves financially in order to have more space. This does mean they cannot go abroad for family holidays and have to budget tightly for clothes, days out, food shop. Friend is happy with decision as dc can have friends to stay over, they can lounge in garden, host bbqs, have a separate bathroom to dc.

I wonder if space is more beneficial and good for one's well being than having more disposable income.

Speaking from experience, I would rather more space as it is depressing and frustrating living day in day out in a small house. One small bathroom, poky bedrooms that can only accommodate a bed, wardrobe and chest of drawers, one downstairs living space (talking less than 900 square foot).

Would you rather have more money or space?

OP posts:
saggyhairyass · 30/03/2022 14:26

I live in a tiny two bed flat. So space, definitely.

evilharpy · 30/03/2022 14:28

A couple of years ago I'd have said more disposable income, but we've been working from home for two years and for most of that I've worked from the dining room table. It would be so nice for both of us to have a dedicated place to work that's separate from where we live/eat/relax.

RandomUsernameHere · 30/03/2022 14:31

More disposable income, definitely. Would also much rather live in a smaller house in the nicest area possible. Up to a point though, I wouldn't want the DC to have to share a bedroom, for example.

pitabread · 30/03/2022 14:33

Disposable income

LaWench · 30/03/2022 14:34

We chose money over space for 15 years then we upgraded to much bigger house on a nice street but didn't overstretch ourselves in the purchase. So we currently have money and space but the house needs updating so we'll need the capital to do that.

lochmaree · 30/03/2022 14:34

we chose space over more disposable income. we arent big on holidays, usually spend time away at parents and have days out. we have gone with the model of a bigger house as an investment and will make more from it in the longer term. we also chose higher repayments on our mortgage so that we'll be mortgage free in 20 years (16 now). it is a stretch sometimes but I dont regret it. we have flexible living spaces and a lovely garden.

SquishySquirmy · 30/03/2022 14:37

Depends how much/little space we're talking about!
In general, I would prioritise disposable income over space, if the choice was between "big enough" and "really big".
Which is what we have done with our current house - it is big enough for our small family, we have a small garden, in a nice area, etc. There are times I wish the garden was bigger, or that we had a garage, or that we had another room for my dd's mess!
But generally it is fine, and I like having some slack in our budget. We can make overpayments and will pay the mortgage off early. When I was made redundant, we were able to still (just about) get by on dh's wage. If we had stretched ourselves when we bought, it would have been a very stressful time and maybe we would have been forced to sell!
I value that security over a massive house.
But I also know that we are very lucky to be in the position of making this choice.

RewildingAmbridge · 30/03/2022 14:39

There's a balance surely, we have a good sized (Edwardian not new build proportion) 3 bed, 3 reception roomed, semi with a large garden in a nice area, with lots of potential to extend up. We have one DC. We can afford to save, go on days out, take holidays. Could've stretched to a 4 bed detached and foregone the other stuff but didn't seem worth it.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/03/2022 14:40

More disposable income every time.

Depends on what you enjoy. For me, home is a place to sleep. I'm social and extroverted, I like travel and going away for weekends and out for meals. I have a 2 bedroom house because I have a DS but I'd happily live in a bedsit if I wasn't a parent.

For me, life is about experiences, not sitting in the house.

ThatsNotItAtAll · 30/03/2022 14:51

Its a compromise isn't it in reality? The exact tipping point is different for everyone. It also depends on your lifestage, lifestyle and most of all who makes up your household.

When I lived alone I had no interest in anything bigger than a one bedroom flat with a kitchen-diner and balcony, as a couple we wanted a bit more space (small terraced two up, two down, only wanted a tiny garden for the terrace/ patio really), with children we wanted them to have a bedroom each and although a playroom was largely redundant it came into its own as a hobby room/ gaming room/ teens TV room/ sleepover room, then in the pandemic as a home office...

I do find having more bedrooms than you have members of the household or more than two downstairs living spaces a curious choice if its at the expense of not being able to afford other things/ being over stretched. One acquaintance of mine years ago lived in a rented new build house with six bedrooms and had two children whom she chose to have sharing a room - she was very proud of the house and had two guest rooms set up plus an office and a grown- up craft/ hobby room. I did find it a bit of a strange choice especially as the house wasn't exactly "to grow into" in case they had more children or expectations of housing elderly parents because it was rented. People have their reasons I guess and it's up to them but not what I'd prioritise.

Madrenetterhere · 30/03/2022 14:54

I would always choose more money so that I could spend it on experiences. There's a whole world I want to explore!

RoundGlass · 30/03/2022 14:55

I'd go for the middle ground (if there was one).. slight more space but good disposable income.

Also it depends. If I had 2 kids in a one bedroom flat - then I would stretch. If I had 3 kids in a 3 bed house then I'd rather have the disposable income.

Fernandina · 30/03/2022 14:55

Space for me. We are shoehorned into a small house with a titchy garden and no garage or driveway, and I hate it. HATE it with a passion. No prospect of ever being able to move either, not unless I win the lottery. Sad

Thewindwhispers · 30/03/2022 15:03

I’d choose the house, but garden / views / peaceful location / character are what relax me rather than the actual size inside.

My SIL has incredible views across a valley from her house, I feel relaxed just being there. I’d give up a lot for that!

Original poster
Lovinglife45 · 30/03/2022 15:06

Bangingon
As long as you are not struggling to make payments, there is no need for you to downsize.

Needlenoodle
Great thinking which has paid off!

Alarae
My current house is similar to your previous house. We cannot afford to make the jump from a 3 to 4 bed. Even in this small house, we've another 18 years on mortgage.

Sandysman
True. Though we can save - not nearly enough to take the jump. Our mortgage payments are high as we had a small deposit so we are not benefiting from large disposable income or space.Sad

OP posts:
pupcakes · 30/03/2022 15:06

100% space for me.

We made a very big decision to go for a bigger home with garden 3 years ago after years of living in an absolutely tiny flat and the quality of my life is SOOOOO much better! Our current house is £500 a month more than our flat was- that £500 would definitely make our day to day life nicer- but nowhere near as nice as it is to live somewhere we love that suits our needs.

I don't know how we would have survived lockdown in that flat.

Geezabreak82 · 30/03/2022 15:20

We went for a smaller house, cheaper area, shorter mortgage. When we bought the house we have now we spent about 60-70% of our possible budget. It's not tiny - three bedrooms, one bathroom and separate toilet, living room, big open plan kitchen-dining-living space and a decent sized south facing garden. It basically cost the same as we sold our city centre one bedroom flat for. We did intend to extend to add a fourth bedroom for guests and a utility room but haven't gotten round to it and tbh I'm a bit reluctant to take on more debt when we could be mortgage free in our mid-40s. It's also allowed us both to cut our working hours to spend more time with the kids when they were small including longer maternity/paternity leave.

PositiveLife · 30/03/2022 15:37

Generally I'd prefer to have the disposable income but there's definitely a balance at which it tips the other way.
My minimums were a safe enough area, bit of outdoor space, bedroom each. I could have squashed into a 2 bed flat in a rough area and been mortgage free in about 2 years but it would have been crap. As it is, I'm in a terrace and I don't really have to worry too much about the price rises (other than if my job was at risk). I'd much rather be doing things than paying for a bigger house. Ex-husband keeps telling kids he thinks I earn more than him (I definitely don't) and it's because he only compares the fact I have spare money at the end of the month and ignores that he's in a big detached house with 2 new cars, etc.

Yebbie · 30/03/2022 16:08

There's a middle ground there though, isn't there? Stretching yourselves to a point where you can't afford a holiday or any luxuries and living somewhere that is unsuitable for your family without enough bathrooms etc but having lots of disposable incomes are the two extremities and I imagine most people balance themselves somewhere in the middle. We didn't go for our maximum affordability as we don't want to have to give up nice car, abroad holidays etc but we also didn't go for something unsuitable for our needs. To get detached and the amount of bed/bath we wanted we had to go new build which wasn't the ideal, but was the middle ground between space and affordability.

Figgyboa · 30/03/2022 16:13

Money. Its just me and my DF to house so space isn't an issue. We place value on traveling, enjoying experiences and good food.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/03/2022 16:19

@Suzi9989

Friends of ours their council tax is more expensive than mortgage! Big properties comes with upkeep and high running costs...

I would rather have smaller moderate space and able to experience the world and holidays abroad. Not tied down by minimum money you have to make to sustain house/ property

What are your thoughts op?

We went for the security of a lower mortgage on a modest home. This was learnt a very hard way whe. I was a teenager, with DDad being made redundant and then having to stop work at 49 due to ill health. He had no insurance.

Our easily affordable mortgage has seen us through 2 x redundancy, illness and 2 x extended maternity leave. It will be paid off in less than a year (🤞) after 20 years. It’s not a palace, but it’s our palace. The plan is to start travelling again, with every now old enough to remember, and pay the value of the mortgage into pensions to retire a bit earlier.

mrsm43s · 30/03/2022 16:19

We chose money over space.

After paying off our mortgage on our standard 3 bed semi in our 30s, we then used our spare income to educate our 2 children privately. We also extended, so what was originally 2 beds/1 boxroom and a tiny galley kitchen is now a 5 bed house with a large kitchen plus utility. (Thankfully the area is good!). So we now have a good sized house, but it's pretty modest and stands in a standard 3 bed semi size garden.

If we'd have chosen to upsize rather than educate the children, then we'd have bought a detached 5 bed with land and bigger room sizes.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/03/2022 16:25

It's a privilege to be able to actively choose either.

We have lots of space at home, but chose somewhere completely not fancy / bordering on scruffy so that our costs were also low (meaning we can overpay and be mortgage free much sooner).

Hoping the trade off is that once the kids move out we can downsize and move to a nicer area mortgage free.

NeedleNoodle3 · 30/03/2022 16:32

mrsm43s wouldn’t you have educated your DC if you had moved?

minipie · 30/03/2022 16:39

In your example though it’s not just space is it? It’s also schools, park, pretty surroundings.

I’d definitely choose all that over holidays and clothes etc.

If it was just space it would be a trickier call.

Also agree with PP that there is a third option which is more in savings/paying off the mortgage. This option has nothing to “show” for itself but I value the security and ability to work less later in life.