This time two years ago

[thinking123]

So it's been pretty much two years since covid started. Just discussing with friends tonight how everyone is compared to spring 2020

One friend is much better off, she's full time working from home, saving a fortune on travel, but she lost her mum to covid

Another friend is much worse off, their business went to the wall, she and her dh are both working now but they do not know if they will ever be in the financial position that they where, but they didn't lose anyone to covid

We are pretty much the same,dh working from home three days as week which is better for family life and saves money on travel but that's been eaten up in the cost of living rises

Just thought it was interesting to see how people have fared financially

Obviously the human cost has been high and many have lost loved ones, thankfully we didn't loose anyone

My family unit are worse off both financially (significantly) and our collective mental health (apart from the two younger kids who were little enough to mostly be fine).

I don’t like looking back or comparing, but whenever my phone shows me those “memories” pictures of 2019 and before I feel wistful for that former life.

Financially the same, well worse off if you account for inflation. But that's not a covid thing.

Mentally, hard to say. My MH was awful before covid. It's awful now, but different.

My mental health is in tatters. Partner was made redundant back at the beginning. Still unemployed.
We lost the property we were in the process of buying, and haven't been able to find anything since (meanwhile house prices just keep going up...) We didn't lose anyone to Covid. DD is currently very unwell due to something else though. Things were so much better for us in 2019. It's so strange to think of what was to come.

Sorry to hear about your friends Mum.

My DH was office based pre pandemic and now he's fully remote. He's also had two pay rises.
I've worked all the way through as I was a key worker. I'll always be grateful for that because my mental health would have d deteriorated far worse than it did.

Both in laws and SIL all key workers, so financially okay. My family are also doing okay. 🙏

We are the same but with a saving as DH WFH mainly now. So huge save in commuting costs. He also doesn’t get sent overseas now on a regular basis and I think a lot of those meetings will remain online as it’s a big save overall for his organisation. That’s a win for me I have spent 25 years with a DH who would be away often. I certainly managed and was never one of the I can’t cope my DH is away over night types but it sure is nice actually seeing him.

We haven’t travelled overseas since the end of 2019 our big spend has always been holidays so two trips in the UK has been a lot cheaper.

I was very unwell with covid at the start of the pandemic and felt terrible for six months. DH had a very elderly distant relative die, I very sadly had a friend die, she was an inspirational teacher in an inner city school and only 34.

For me, it really isn’t about the money. It’s about the human cost. And that has been horrendous for me and my family.

Lost several family members and quite a few friends. Financially initially worse, lost my job, but now slightly better as I found a new role. DH now working from home, which is better for work/life balance.

Was a manager at my work which went into liquidation during the second lockdown. Was a very stressful role and was juggling lots of serious balls in the air.

Now in a low level position at minimum wage. Lots less stress but also lost lots of money in my wage packet every month.

On a different note - my health changed dramatically. I was managing my anxiety but struggled massively with it during the pandemic. I used to live a quiet life but would enjoy shopping, a hobby out of the house with others and day trips out. Now live a very very small life, never going out, shopping delivered. Go to work and that's it.

Financially, worse off but that’s due to having a child in 2020 and another due later this year. Ignoring other factors I think we’d be pretty much the same if you compare 2019 to now - both in the same jobs etc.

On other fronts… DH’s mum has definitely aged during the pandemic. I had a very hard time of it in lockdown with a newborn which I think has changed me a bit. But all in all we’ve been rather lucky, I think we’ve just kept our heads down and ploughed through. If Covid hadn’t happened I’m sure other things would have affected us in some way, so on the balance of things I wouldn’t say it’s changed our lives hugely. But as I say, I feel lucky for that.

Work-wise both DH & I worked all through & still in the same jobs, but are both now wfh (me permanently as our office was closed, DH will do one day a month in the office). So that has been positive in that we've saved on car costs/commuting & have gone down to one car, plus we can do school drop off/pick up, so our work/life balance is better.
Downsides are space - DH works in our bedroom, I'm on the sette. We want to move to a bigger house but can't afford to atm as prices are crazy & costs going up.
Our two DC definitely were affected; DD has not had a single normal school year so far, she was in Reception when the first lockdown hit. Academically she is doing good, but her teacher told us she'd be doing even better had Covid not happened which is hard to hear. Apparently the government want Yr2 SATs to go ahead this year so they can see just how badly this cohort has been affected by it all - understandable but not comforting!
DS wasn't even 2 when we had the first lockdown so lost months of those formative years especially with regards to socialisation & motor function - having playgrounds etc closed for so long really put him back. Again, he is doing ok but there is definite differences & delay.
We didn't lose anyone to Covid but we did lose family to other things & restrictions meant few could see them before they passed, funerals were tiny (I couldn't attend DGFILs funeral as the children were still at home) & we couldn't visit family who had recently been moved to care homes.

i have been up and down. Was furloughed for first 6 months then went back to work but on reduced hours so income dropped. Luckily after 6 months I got a promotion and also upped hours to more than before so financially better off although that has been eaten up by cost of living plus we moved house so mortgage is slightly more.
DH now works from home 4 days a week so saves on 50 miles of petrol a day. He's just had a payrise that has been wiped out bu untility bill increases!

I saved at least 20% of my gross salary in 2020 so my savings account is much better off as a result of Covid! No change to income and there was nothing to spend it on other than food and wine.
I'm not sure it makes up for the isolation of lockdown though.

We are much better off financially. During the pandemic, I was on a zero hours contract & didn't get any work as my workplace (public-facing service) was shut. Was paid a retainer of £15 per month. I am now on a permanent contract for the same service, doing a job I love & bringing home nearly £800 per month.

DH works in TV & was about to start a 6-month contract the week it all hit. This was cancelled & he had very little other work, as most places were not being insured to make programmes. Instead he did a MA in screenwriting, which has led to a permanent, full-time, well-paid job doing what he enjoys.

We survived the pandemic on his meagre earnings, a mortgage break & benefits (disabled child DLA/carers, child benefit & universal credits). Also when I did shopping for my grandparents each week, they gave me £10 petrol money & a few groceries. We very nearly didn't get through it though.

We feel incredibly lucky with our current situation but it has been so hard. I hated claiming Universal Credit as I felt unworthy, but it got us through.

Sorry to those who are having a tough time now, I hope you come out of it.

Financially we were hit hard. I am lucky to have a job I can work from home full time. We were the only team in the place that was Business As Usual.

DH, though, is a self employed driving instructor. A very busy, popular one. The financial impact was devastating. We're pretty much only getting back to some semblance of normality.

I've also lost both parents in the last 3 months and a cousin to suicide.

Mentally, we are both happy in our jobs, which is huge. Dses responded well to homeschooling, which is positive.

We sadly lost MIL & my grandad, but both were terminally ill anyway & we saw/spoke to them more when restrictions were lifted/due to doing shopping & hospital appointments, so lucky in that way.

Lockdown 2020 caused my DS a MH breakdown but on the plus side it got the ball rolling for an ASD assessment. Before this nobody took our concerns seriously enough for a referral. Lots of counselling and an ASD diagnosis later, he's doing great.

Financially we are probably better (despite stagnant wages, crazy cost of living currently and a baby in 2020), due to a large sum of money we owed being written off. (Kind family member, rich enough to not feel the loss).

So grateful not to lose anyone in my immediate family to Covid, though some relatives sadly died and close friends were directly affected. Like a PP I also hate it when my phone shows me memories of lockdown.

Better off. In 2020 I was in the end stage of a bloody awful relationship that had become controlling and not a nice place to be. However I started pre - access at college in the February which was a turning point. I was still hanging on to having horses, even though financially I was crippled.
Now I'm a first year nursing student. I've been with my utterly wonderful, supportive and lovely partner (I'm too old to say boyfriend 😂) a year in June and I sold the last pony 18 months ago. Coupled with the funding for uni I'm, for the first time in my life, comfortable.

We were some of the fortunate people who had a ‘good’ pandemic/lockdown. Both of us worked at home a few days a week anyway and our DC were too young to have to be home schooled and as we were both classed as key workers we could still access nursery childcare. We saved a lot of money not commuting and socialising, and this meant we could pay off our credit card debt that we had been transferring between 0% interest free cards for years.

I think the big thing for us though was that we were ‘lucky’ enough not to have elderly parents who we were worrying about as they had all died prior to covid - I can’t imagine how awful it has been for people who have lost loved ones and who weren’t able to spend time with them before they died and hold their hands as they went. All the time Boris and chums were living it up without a card in the world 😡

On other fronts… DH’s mum has definitely aged during the pandemic.

This seems to have happened to lots of parents and relatives of people I know too. Mine went from a busy active retiree with a packed social calendar and a ton of hobbies and volunteer commitments in 2019, to a physically/cognitively frail ‘person who struggles’ (her words not mine) in 2022.

I’ll never know how much of this was due to the pandemic and how much just happened at the same time, but even if it was totally separate, what a bloody shame to spend her last couple of active years being stuck at home.

So
Many things to take into account. When I think of all the opportunities my older child had, playgroups, soft play , parties and so on. My younger has had so few

If only it was about playgroups soft play and parties.

Count yourself very very lucky that’s all it was for you.

Financially and MH wise we went through a hard patch in the first year but are now better off, I'm fully remote and DH is hybrid but mainly WFH. DD was born a couple of months before the first lockdown and didn't have the opportunities she could have, but due to DH being at home she has bonded really well with him now. Not having to pay so much for travel etc meant that me and DC were able to travel abroad recently to see family we haven't seen in 4 years. We didn't lose anyone to covid although we know a couple of people who have physically aged because of it.
I loved my life pre covid but I the life I have now works well for me with DC, I think.

@AchillesPoirot

If only it was about playgroups soft play and parties.

Count yourself very very lucky that’s all it was for you.

That isn't what I meant. I just mean that's just another thing. People where talking the real effects on older relatives, and I think there are real effects on young people as well.

Much the same, I know we are lucky. Husband sort of retrained during furlough and has a new career he loves on similar wage but better working pattern. I was made redundant in the first lockdown, luckily found a new job pretty quickly and close to our children's nursery. Think we faired pretty well but I don't ever take that for granted.

Financially, we retained working. Still wfh and in sort of jobs which give us the flexibility that makes our work/life balance better.

I didn’t lose anyone to covid, not have anyone close to me affected by long covid. So I have been very lucky.

But my mental health is not as good and I feel for my (then) pre-school children and what they’ve missed out on. Whilst we had flexible employers we still had to deliver our usual work with three children at home at very demanding ages, and the fear I have of ever being in that situation ever again feels close to the surface. When I compare it to friends who were furloughed or who, through their jobs, got some schooling, I can see our reactions are radically different (I am not stupid enough to fail to recognise the privilege I had of having a flexible job, or the ability to keep my children physically safe and financially secure, just to recognise that there are an awful lot of different types of shit we need to recover from ).