The lovely old man down the road has terminal cancer-how can I help him?

[KristinaYang]

A very dear old neighbour, who has at times been a real support to my family and I, has told me he has a few months to live.
He cares for his wife and does all the household jobs, but is finding mobility increasingly difficult. He is absolutely terrified but has so far rejected food/lifts/cleaning as says he can do it.
What can I do / get him to help him?
Info- He has a wicked very dry sense of humour, can’t read or write, is mid-80’s, diabetic, somewhat traditional, and a bit of a technophobe. He’s honestly a truly great gentleman though and would give the shirt off his back to help anyone.
How can I help him?

Does he have family who can / are helping him?

Regarding caring for his wife, who will continue that care? Again, is there any family helping?

I ask this as the support you can offer really depends on what gaps thete are where the weakest links in his life / routine are.

I'd keep offering the lifts/food etc because he likely accept at some point. How does he manage things like post/letters? Is there something you could do for his wife that would take the pressure of him? It may give him some comfort to know you'll be there for her.

Apparently they have a daughter but I’ve never met her and unsure if she’s even local? Very low contact anyway.
His wife sorts the daily post I think but she’s always kept herself to herself indoors-in the nicest way she lives a very simple life and doesn’t venture out much. I know he is very worried about her, without him.
I’ve helped with paperwork/anything computer related/Xmas cards over the years.
DS suggested we tell him a joke a day. Bless him.

Does he have anyone to sit with his wife while he has hospital /GP appointments could you offer to do that? Does he have a garden could you tell him how much you love gardening ( even if you don’t) and say you would love to help with his. If he can’t read or write could you offer to look up benefits that he might be entitled to or get in touch with Age Concern or a charity related to his illness on his behalf? Would he accept help with online shopping if he gave you a list, he’s going to find it harder to get out for shopping sooner or later and if a delivery person ( most likely to be a man) is actually the one doing the hard part of delivering the shopping maybe being an older gent he could accept that easier?

Sitting with his wife is a great idea.

They have a small courtyard and that’s how we first got chatting actually-what we had in our little gardens and seed swapping. Perhaps I can offer to do some bits.

DS suggested we tell him a joke a day. Bless him. Oh please do this . It's lovely! I wouldn't worry too much about the big things to help at the moment. I'd pop in daily/a few times a week for a chat. Let him know you are there for him and his wife. Keep asking. He's likely to ask you for help when he needs it then.