Can I teach myself to teach my son CBT?

[MrsMingech]

The CAMHS waiting list is long, but we are on it.

There's an option of going private but it's via computer and will cost around £1000.

The other option is £48 a session but we have to drive so far away we'd have to take the day off work each week for 12 weeks and my job won't allow it, DH is self employed so we'd end up paying financially even more.

So while we are on the waiting list can I teach my son CBT techniques? He has bad anxiety (ADHD and tics). I don't know anything about CBT currently, just that so far he appears to be a good fit for it.

I work with children and anxiety. Get hold of a book called "helping your child with fears and worries" by Cathy cress well and it does guide you on how you can give much of this support yourself.

The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligmann may be worth reading but to become your child’s therapist isn’t really a good idea. You are too emotionally involved, and you risk crossing boundaries that may not end up helping him in the long run

More practical parent things like encouraging new hobbies, making sure his lifestyle is healthy (food, exercise, purpose) would be more appropriate

I actually think CBT is bollocks on its own anyway, so it’s dangerous in itself to think it’s a cure all

You could teach him the techniques but a lot of the problem is that many children will not open up to a parent so progress is limited.

Try the think ninja app. It’s based on CBT techniques and we often suggest it to children and young people on the waiting list for CAMHS. CAMHS also often suggest it to those in their care, at least in my trust.

The book I have suggested is specifically targeted at parents wanting to support their children with either generalised or specific fears and anxieties. Recent research by university of reading where the authors run a clinic for children experiencing anxiety has found that parents can deliver effective interventions if they are guided and supported to do so

Thank you. I just bought the Cathy Cresswell book and I've downloaded the Think Ninja app.

I don't aim to become my child's therapist.
I just want to give him some tools to help cope with the anxiety and panic attacks while we're on the waiting list.

Watching him suffer when I don't know how to help is horrible.

Good luck. That book is brilliant and easy to read. I have used it both professionally and personally.

Yes you 100% can. Another good CBT book to work through with kids is What To Do When You Worry Too Much.

As I was saying upthread, I don't think it is a good idea to start pathologising your child and become some form of therapist

I just saw this article and I would recommend you reading it thoroughly - it is about the structural environments and lack of opportunity within it that is most often responsible for depression and anxiety in teens.

If you can't be bothered to read it:

• Let your kids have autonomy and freedom - stop molly coddling them and worrying about their 'safety'

• Give them ample opportunity to connect and make good friendships

• Ensure they have hobbies or things that they do that they can become good at

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/202203/why-kids-are-suffering?fbclid=IwAR3u-RwVJ-FhhWeLekfDdU49wpcK1aKJEq8I4C3MYNhiPt-4K3qy1PEXhq8

This is much much more powerful than CBT

I don't need to "read it thoroughly" thanks.

My son has plenty of opportunities for friendships, hobbies and isn't molly coddled.

As mentioned in my OP, he has ADHD and tics, both of which are linked with anxiety.

You're huge assumptions of my son, my parenting and my plans are insulting and unhelpful.

A local group I'm part of have managed to get a taster session for Decider Skills workshop. I think it's in partnership with Barnardo's or something. It's about teaching CBT and other coping skills to young people and children.

You can find out a bit more by googling "the decider skills" and reading the pdfs that come up.

It may be that you need to get the school interested in order to order the training but definitely worth looking at.

You could also read a bit about mindfulness and find some mindful activities you both like doing. Like playing with sand, letting it run through your fingers and combing it or getting a large roll of paper / wall paper lining and spreading it out and just freely drawing swirls or however takes your interest.

@hamstersarse

As I was saying upthread, I don't think it is a good idea to start pathologising your child and become some form of therapist

I just saw this article and I would recommend you reading it thoroughly - it is about the structural environments and lack of opportunity within it that is most often responsible for depression and anxiety in teens.

If you can't be bothered to read it:

• Let your kids have autonomy and freedom - stop molly coddling them and worrying about their 'safety'

• Give them ample opportunity to connect and make good friendships

• Ensure they have hobbies or things that they do that they can become good at

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/202203/why-kids-are-suffering?fbclid=IwAR3u-RwVJ-FhhWeLekfDdU49wpcK1aKJEq8I4C3MYNhiPt-4K3qy1PEXhq8

This is much much more powerful than CBT

I don't think an article in Psychology Today really outweighs the abundance of evidence of the efficacy of CBT. In is a pop culture magazine, not a peer reviewed journal.

I don't think there is much in Psychology Today thar requires "reading thoroughly".

What evidence do you have that CBT is effective?

@hamstersarse

What evidence do you have that CBT is effective?

NICE guidance and an abundance of peer reviewed research that include systematic reviews and meta-analyses. Also my own experience as a clinician.

It is a popular therapeutic approach for a good reason.

We pay for dd to see a psychologist weekly and it's £125 a week . She has been doing this for months but it is helping . Camhs won't help if he is anywhere near 18. My dd was 15 when I first asked for a referral and was constantly brushed off .. shocking service IME!