I dislike Dds best friend

[Wellthisiscrapeh]

I know I should just rise above and let it all go, and I know it’s awful to say you don’t like a child. It’s the way she behaves towards dd that I don’t like.

They have just turned 8 and they have been friends since dd started at her new school a year ago.

She has to try and have one up on dd at everything. They are both very bright children. Until dd joined, this girl was top of the class at everything and then dd came in and she doesn’t like it.

Dd is one of those very lucky children who is just great at everything so effortlessly. But she’s also really sweet and not braggy about anything and is really nice to everyone which makes her popular with it.

Her friend has been here a few times and she’s just vile to dd with nasty little digs the entitle time. I do step in with a breezy comment like, “we shouldn’t say things like that should we”, or “that’s quite rude” when she’s sat telling dd how much better their car or house is than ours.

Dd adores her but it’s so one sided. It was the girls birthday last week, dd made her a card which said “to my best friend” and quick as a flash, the girl said, “well, we are good friends but best is pushing it”. But then if dd speaks about other friends, this kid is all over her.

Dd does a couple of after school activities which is great as she has other friends from outside school but not this girl has joined and she’s trying to push dd out of things and the groups of friends she’s made, saying she’s better at the activity than dd. Honestly, dd is such a cheerleader for everyone that she’s not competitive and she’s always genuinely happy for people who do better than her at something. She’s a really lovely little thing.

There’s so much more too, I just feel shit for dd. She’s so happy go lucky and it’s crap to see this sort of thing unfold.

I have a much older (now adult) child but I’ve not been though this with him. He just endlessly played football with the same three boys for about ten years with no hassle.

I’m just venting really, i know children are children and you can’t get involved in friendships and that this is just a tiny blip and not important in the grand scheme of things.

Your dd needs to make these decisions herself. You can help by calling out any unkindness and working on your dd being assertive.

We had one of those. I had a chat with DD about positive relationships, and stopped inviting the friend over. I actively encouraged play dates with others who didn't feel the need to make snarky little digs. Hasn't phased her out completely but has helped to provide balance

@cansu

Your dd needs to make these decisions herself. You can help by calling out any unkindness and working on your dd being assertive.

Oh I know, it’s up to her ultimately. She just sees the good in everyone.

I think you just support your daughter from afar and equip her with the tools to manage issues as they arise.
Your op doesn’t say whether your daughter is actually bothered by her friend’s behaviour or has brought it up with you?
I’d maybe use examples after the other child has left ‘Katie mentioned her car is better than ours didn’t she? We’re lucky we all have cars to take us to places and it really doesn’t matter how big they are or how much they cost’ etc etc
In the nicest possible way, your post came across painting your daughter as a perfect angel. I’m sure she’s lovely and bright as a button etc but no kid is perfect so there may be more to the relationship than you are aware of…

@3weeksuntilwine

I think you just support your daughter from afar and equip her with the tools to manage issues as they arise. Your op doesn’t say whether your daughter is actually bothered by her friend’s behaviour or has brought it up with you? I’d maybe use examples after the other child has left ‘Katie mentioned her car is better than ours didn’t she? We’re lucky we all have cars to take us to places and it really doesn’t matter how big they are or how much they cost’ etc etc In the nicest possible way, your post came across painting your daughter as a perfect angel. I’m sure she’s lovely and bright as a button etc but no kid is perfect so there may be more to the relationship than you are aware of…

God no, she’s no angel. We all have our bad points, dd included.

I was just saying that she’s the opposite to how this child comes across.