It would be impossible to find this person wouldn’t it?

[voiceofkindness]

25-30 years ago, my mum - very unwell (addiction and mental illness) - used to ring helplines a lot overnight, whilst I sat on the stairs waiting . She would end up so distressed that I’d usually have to take the phone from her and the voice on the other end would help me to settle mum … I was about 4-6 years old . I’ve never talked much to anyone about it as I found it very difficult .

One lady in particular on the phone was extraordinarily kind, she had a voice like Joanna Lumley and such a peaceful , gentle aura about her . We ended up meeting her a few times - I think maybe 5 or 6 times over a period of 7 years . Got Christmas cards etc, and she gave me some beautiful jewellery that I’ve still got .

The last time I saw her I was leaving school, so fourteen years ago - I remember telling her about my career ideas and she was so supportive . I’ve now got a degree and am 3/4 of the way to my dream career .

Mum moved house shortly after that last time, changed her mobile number and threw out her address book (illness) . She’s now dreadfully unwell again and I find myself remembering things from when I was tiny (flashbacks), being encouraged to discuss my early childhood in therapy, and often remember even when I was petrified that lady was always so wonderfully kind . I don’t think she was a trained counsellor, but she came across as someone who ‘knew’ a lot .

I never got the chance to thank her . She would be 70+ now and part of me wonders if she passed away, as Christmas cards just stopped - mum only moved 4 streets away and new tenants would have said if she received a card. I don’t even know her last name tbh, just an idea of what it might be, the town she lived near . Do have a photo of her too thankfully .

It would be futile to try and ‘find’ her wouldn’t it? She could be anywhere and as I say she might well have passed away years ago, or have dementia or something … or she might well not want to be contacted for some reason.

My early childhood is full of different people like her, dozens of social workers, foster carers, childminders, support workers - 99% of whom I never saw again and wouldn’t be able to trace - but she was the only one I really remember being kind .

It sounds like she was probably quite community minded so why not ask on Facebook groups local to where you think she might have lived?

And 70s is no age really, I wouldn't assume she is dead.

Best of luck OP.

I assume she didn't leave a forwarding address with the new tenants?

If the helpline still exists, you could send them a card or letter in a stamped envelope to forward onto her, containing your contact details. It's a long shot that they will be able to forward it onto her but she may still be involved in the charity in some way or still be in contact with someone who works there.

She sounds a lovely person. Do the GDPR the helpline won’t be able to confirm it, but maybe phone or write to them with your information to pass on if they recognise her photo etc. you can write thanking her for the difference she made in your life and how well you’ve done etc

She was wonderful . I think the helpline may have been swallowed up by a national number a long time ago but it’s possible that the national number kept records, I imagine . She was a lovely lady, I must have been terrified but I remember how calm she was on the phone . There were a couple of other ladies but I remember them much less, I think one of them I was only 3 or 4 years old when I spoke to her .

The lady I’m thinking about, I must have been older as I remember her much more vividly .

It only occurred to me a few years ago how difficult that must have been for her too to have been dealing with that as a volunteer but she was kindness personified .

I’ll give Facebook a go and see if I can find anyone or a local group, I don’t want to post her photo in case she might not want it on social media but that’s the most likely way of finding her I suppose !

Have you spoken to neighbors at her previous address? If they know where she's moved to, they may not want to give you her contact details but could be happy to pass yours on to her.

Best of luck, OP. Keep trying