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Self-help book about leaving your vocation?

2 replies

PriscillaSnail · 28/03/2022 10:09

I want to do something to help my younger DSis, but don't know where to start. She has a career doing something creative and academic. I don't want to be too outing, but it's something along the lines of being an author, or an artist at a very high level (think PhD). This activity has been her "thing" since she was young. All her friends do it and it's quite a trendy and interesting thing to do - at least from the outside! - so it's what people tend to ask about and associate with her. Her identity's always been quite wrapped up in it, even when she was doing it at an amateur level.

She's been struggling with a particular big piece of work for four years, but her agent / manager is saying that it's still not good enough. She says that he's had doubts about it for a while and he's made a lot of suggestions that she just can't seem to get right. I believe her, in that I know she's put in the hours and worked really hard, but because this is a creative field she also needs to have some spark or magic - otherwise everyone would be able to write books or paint pictures! (Those aren't the actual field, but it's very similar). She says she's worried she doesn't have that spark any longer and that her agent / manager is going to drop her. When I spoke to her last night she was in tears, saying that she doesn't see a future for herself in this field any more.

Does anyone have any advice or resources I can send to her, like a self-help book? Maybe something for retiring athletes, or professional ballet dancers or something similar, where the loss of that activity is also a loss of identity and self-worth? I feel so helpless seeing her this sad.

OP posts:
Aknifewith16blades · 28/03/2022 10:42

This might cover some of the ground: www.goodreads.com/book/show/43278.Creating_a_Life_Worth_Living

PriscillaSnail · 28/03/2022 11:12

That looks good, @Aknifewith16blades, thank you. I'll send her the link.

I'm also looking for anything that'll help her through the emotional challenges of leaving the field. I think it's quite likely that she will end up going and it's so much more than a job for her, it's her whole life.

I'm feeling a bit guilty too. Her focus on this used to annoy me when we were both young, but it's such a volatile, uncertain field. It easily could be that she's just not good enough, but it feels like there's a lot of luck involved too.

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