Creepy man in yoga class

[Foreverinjeans]

Hi.
I wonder if anyone else has come across this?

And disclaimer. I'm not saying all men attending yoga classes are like this.

However I have been to a few yoga classes and have noticed that it can attract predatory men.
Example, one guy joined our predominantly female class a few weeks ago. He's in his early 40s.
He made one of the girls uncomfortable by standing too close and staring.
He asked another for a drink . She declined and told a few of us older and therefore not on his radar women that she and others, found him creepy and letchy and how he'd made strange comments about keeping his urges under control!!!

He disappeared. Probably as he realised he'd been uncovered.
The younger girls say there's always one man who is there, using yoga class as a pick-up opportunity. In my last class there was another, not quite as overt but who did make women uncomfortable.

yoga is ever more creasing in popularty and there are way more females that practice.
Have any other yogis found this?
Sometimes it feels like nothing is sacred.

.. and he always, always farted loudly during shivasana which was not very spiritual.

Unfortunately, it is the norm
Really? I've never come across letchy men in 20-odd years of yoga classes.
Of course, anyone acting like the guy in the OP, or any of your experiences here, should be (as my primary school teacher used to say) descended upon from a great height and not allowed to class any more.

Urgh. Only one bloke in my yoga class thank goodness, and he comes with his dp and it's fine. It does change the vibe, but he's very self-effacing and I wouldn't want him to be excluded.

Hitting on people however - absolutely not on

17 Years ago my friend and I (both mid pregnancy, met at NCT) decided to go to a pregnancy yoga class at the local Salvation Army hall. There were only 4 of us there and the instructor was a little wiry chap with a plaited beard and lots of tie dye. Still the class was pretty good but he was edging into too "hands on" with him helping position us (neither of us had ever done yoga before) to the point the 4 of us were exchanging glances...
anyway after the session was finishing we were doing a final wind down thing when he started getting packed up. HE TOOK ALL HIS CLOTHES OFF. Ostensibly it was go and get out of his yoga kit into street clothes but WTAF? There was some flexing and posturing and he was either surprisingly well endowed for a little chap or at least semi tumescent.
He left and we all howled laughing. No one went back.
It's interesting though how much attitudes change. I told a newer (much younger) friend this story recently as a funny one and she was utterly horrified and baffled as to why we didn't report it. I've tried to explain that in terms of social attitudes to creepy men 17 years ago was a different time but it did make me think. I think it was because we didn't feel threatened. A bit icked out but not scared. Still in retrospect we should absolutely have said something....

Wow. It's too common.
This particular creep has disappeared. But the girl he propositioned thinks he's at another class. I think it. needs to be called out. Its horrible.

And yes unfair, on the non-predatory males, they worry about being thought of as pick-up artists.

A total creep letch from my road, whose marriage has broken up has gone all spiritual and yoga. He's so there for the women. Total creep in the street, never mind with young lycra girls.

And a friend who lives on Portugal reports similar.. interestingly, she says its the British men who do it. Locals are far more respectful.

O do think we need to call it out.

I did bikram hot yoga for a while. Really gross bloke stood in the front row, in front of the mirrors, baggy shorts, letting his winkle fall out for us all to see, and for him to see us, seeing it in the mirrors. Uggghhhh.

The person running the class did NOTHING except waff on about how there are no egos in yoga. It was Bikram though, and it turns out the thing was invented by a sex pest. The whole show was repellent.

I detest the whole bikram yoga as an excuse to flash at women thing. And studios enabling it by not requiring men to wear appropriate attire under the excuse of it being "too hot". Funnily enough I never saw any topless women!

Gosh this is sad. I have done yoga for years and never had this- sounds like I have been lucky!!!

@Frogium

Doesn't surprise me. I was hit on at yoga just last week by a man who could be older than my father.

I think it's the by product of all "join groups and activities to meet people instead of online dating" and instead of acting normally, men bring their awful lecherous attitudes perfected from online dating to real life situations.

Wait till you join hiking/walking groups though!!

I know exactly what you mean and it's why I haven't gone to a walking group yet!

Such a shame. We have several
Men doing yoga at my gym and not one of them is a creep.
We’re all just there to work out.

I teach both yoga and pilates and have never come across letches, underdressed men or women I teach at various clubs and every "seems" pretty normal and friendly.

We had a man in our yoga group and he was a good laugh, def not a letch, he was absolutely useless at yoga but gave it his best. Our instructor also brought her partner along sometimes and he was a decent enough chap, its a shame to hear of others negative experiances.

Male entitlement in this sort of space doesn't go away just because it's supposed to be warm and fuzzy. DH works in a gym and often comes back with stories of where women have approached managers/instructors etc to say someone has made them uncomfortable in the gym and they then keep an eye out/have a word. On a few occasions in classes he says that the men seem to think t's okay to take up as much space as they want and the instructors have to intervene, and when they do, the men involved can be very aggressive. They've had to ban a few male members from classes.

Another ridiculous one was a man who had a total go at DH because he'd been staring at some women, they'd complained and Dh had to have a word. Apparently the man was a new member and he said he'd been interested in the exercises the women were doing. DH believed him but couldn't believe that this guy wasn't mortified - instead, he was just furious that the women hadn't given him a chance to explain himself but had just complained, then left.

In the cafe area it's also always the men who are on loud conference calls etc and who get very sniffy if anyone asks them to be quiet - especially if its a woman.

For balance. The community yoga I pop into has no issues.

@Triffid1. I have seen that behaviour in gyms too. And gym instructors having to step in.
Bloody creeps

I think that it is a shame that the UK never really found a collective cultural vision wrt yoga. I know that is easier to achieve in California with the warm Pacific on your doorstep, enormous sunsets and scenic hikes at every turn. I suppose I mean that many casual practitioners of yoga do not really respect the fact that it is a coherent spiritual system and should go hand in hand with developing a profound connection with nature and influence a host of lifestyle choices.
However, I suppose that I do take my practice too seriously (and I know that I am not alone in that either). I was annoyed at one particular group who would attend yoga, chat quietly and joke for half the session and then head off to McDonalds straight afterwards.

You get some men who do yoga who are there just for the yoga, like a neighbour of mine, married, 2 kids.

There was a much older man in a hot yoga class I once attended who always sat at the back and was quite letchy re looking at women but you couldn’t really pinpoint it. I stopped going to that class.

In my experience if you don’t like it just don’t go to that clasd.

@Gonnagetgoing

You get some men who do yoga who are there just for the yoga, like a neighbour of mine, married, 2 kids.

There was a much older man in a hot yoga class I once attended who always sat at the back and was quite letchy re looking at women but you couldn’t really pinpoint it. I stopped going to that class.

In my experience if you don’t like it just don’t go to that clasd.

So as always, WOMEN must adjust their behaviour to accommodate tetchy men? So depressing.

@Foreverinjeans I think gyms are getting better about this stuff. Certainly, the one DH works at seems to be. But DH concedes its always easier for HIM to step in than one of the female staff or instructors.

@Svadhyaya

I detest the whole bikram yoga as an excuse to flash at women thing. And studios enabling it by not requiring men to wear appropriate attire under the excuse of it being "too hot". Funnily enough I never saw any topless women!

@Svadhyaya - exactly - this one much older man at my hot yoga class either wore nothing on his top half or very skimpy tight shorts and a vest. I mean I know it’s hot because of the heat but….

Funnily enough when we showered after if we stuck to separate showers and ensured he couldn’t “mistake” the wrong door etc.

Male instructors do not make me feel nervous per se. I have had a few good ones for short periods of time. It is always a problem to work out whether they are really into helping you perfect a complicated move or whether their hands are wandering a tiny bit (even if they are not meaning for this to happen). The main issue I have with them is when they turn yoga into some kind of multi rep obstacle course. One guy wanted the sun salutation repeated 200 time without a break and moving from the back to the front of the mat meant a kind of weird handstand rather than jumping or walking. I kind of questioned why on earth it was enhancing his practice around fifty reps in. I just don't think you would get that with a female instructor.

@Soffit that's reminded me that in this same class, one man would randomly break into a handstand when it wasn't even what the teacher was getting people to do. It's like yes ok we get it you can do a handstand!!
One male yoga teacher I came across also did 'yoni massage' which is apparently 'very good for sexual abuse survivors'. Talk about abuse in plain sight!

I really hope people tell the gym management about men like this. A random bloke at my gym behaved badly to me in public (not letchy, something else, but M/F was relevant) and the gym banned him from that class (I didn't complain - they just did it). They can't act if they don't know.

@Soffit

I think that it is a shame that the UK never really found a collective cultural vision wrt yoga. I know that is easier to achieve in California with the warm Pacific on your doorstep, enormous sunsets and scenic hikes at every turn. I suppose I mean that many casual practitioners of yoga do not really respect the fact that it is a coherent spiritual system and should go hand in hand with developing a profound connection with nature and influence a host of lifestyle choices. However, I suppose that I do take my practice too seriously (and I know that I am not alone in that either). I was annoyed at one particular group who would attend yoga, chat quietly and joke for half the session and then head off to McDonalds straight afterwards.

I've practiced yoga for 15+ years, and over time have gotten deeper into the philosophy, yamas and niyamas, meditation etc. Its a wonderful healing journey for me. But I've seen and heard of guys who preach the philosophy, or teach and have taken advantage of their position of trust, presenting themselves like gurus to groups of young women, some of whom are vulnerable. I saw this in Thailand and no doubt it happens elsewhere. Its a perfect cover for sex pests, isn't it?

[quote Svadhyaya]@Soffit that's reminded me that in this same class, one man would randomly break into a handstand when it wasn't even what the teacher was getting people to do. It's like yes ok we get it you can do a handstand!!
One male yoga teacher I came across also did 'yoni massage' which is apparently 'very good for sexual abuse survivors'. Talk about abuse in plain sight![/quote]
Oh yes, I have heard about those massages ..I don't know anybody who has taken them up but I would have to infiltrate one of many cults to identify them

@stepawayfromtheminstrels Yes, this does happen in SE Asia and no doubt elsewhere. I have heard that some of the yoga/meditation youtubers also run these exclusive groups and charge a hefty membership fee to the lucky ones in return for passing on recycled ideas passed off as their own. The potential for fraud and abuse within those circles is huge because they draw in followers via cult style gradual conditioning, there is barely any regulation and very few of the top earners are even using their real identities.

this one much older man at my hot yoga class either wore nothing on his top half or very skimpy tight shorts and a vest. I mean I know it’s hot because of the heat but….
I used to do astanga and get pretty hot and sweaty. I'd be in cycling shorts and a vest top with a sports bra under, or sometimes just the bra. Is that a problem?
The men in my class would dress similarly to me (minus the bra ) apart from one, who would wear shorts (not tight cycling ones) and go bare-chested. I didn't find that a problem. Skimpy clothes in an exercise class is not something to get het up about per se.