Social Media Mother's Day

[Adventurine]

Sometimes, social media makes me feel so bad.

Mostly I roll my eyes at the parade of self congratulation and cryptic posts. But today, all I asked for was not to have to make dinner. I didn't get gifts, I got cards. I love the cards. I didn't get the cards or a "happy Mother's Day" from my teen kids until well into the afternoon. My DH was on a night shift so he doesn't typically get up until about 12, but today he didn't until almost 3 because he had to stay on site to report on an accident someone had so he didn't get to bed until later.

I'm recovering from Covid and caring round the clock for my oldest. I'm exhausted and struggling. But I didn't even get so much as a cup of tea made for me today, much less the dinner I hoped for, because my oldest needed a huge amount of support today having just caught Covid and my other two also needed care considering they too are getting over Covid. And ALL OVER social media today are posts from men surprising their mums or partners with lovely meals, spa breaks, trips to London. Photos of kids giving their perfectly made up and filtered mums breakfast in bed and baskets of gifts. Lots of pictures of the mums holding glasses of wine and long, heartfelt posts from their partners about what wonderful mothers they are and how much they do.

It made me feel really unappreciated and unseen. It wouldn't normally but today it really did.

I'm feeling unseen too, OP. My present and card are "in the post" supposedly but he admitted he'd only ordered something on Thursday. Luckily my boys made me gorgeous cards at school/nursery and I never wanted a present but MIL has been sending loads of pictures of the expensive looking flowers he's had delivered to her today. I can't even bring myself to reply or comment because it actually stings.

@ImAvingOops

I said "I'm feeling really disappointed that not so much as a hot drink was made for me today, never mind the dinner I asked for." He said "I know. 😔"

Well let's see what he does with that. Tell him he has an opportunity to put it right

It's so underwhelming, this last few years I have felt very unappreciated. My youngest made a bit of an effort this year, my eldest signed a card my youngest had bought for him to give me and I got chocolates and flowers my youngest bought.

DH used to make sure the kids didn't forget (they are old enough to remember really but still I would always ensure they were organised to avoid any upset.) Last year DH bought a card on the day from the paper shop and asked the kids to write it in front of me, I'd rather he hadn't bothered.

I do everything for them, DH has been unable to help with anything with the kids for 3 months as has had no transport amongst other things. I have done everything for everyone. We were at the pub together this afternoon, DH wouldn't leave with us and said he would finish his drink and come home so we could get a takeaway together. He turned up pissed 2.5hrs later and walked in and ignored everyone. I have been ferrying the kids round since 11am and he was supposed to be ironing their uniform which he hasn't done.

I just feel so fed up and unappreciated, DH is not talking to me as he knows im upset.

Sorry op I had a shit day too. Me and dd2 have covid so we couldn’t leave the house and I had to cancel a lunch which I had organised. Dd1 bought a present but forgot to give it me. She’s avoiding me as she doesn’t want covid so I didn’t get so much as a cup of tea. Neither of them even made me a card. I’m a single mum, their dad doesn’t see them much and I feel so unappreciated I wish I could walk out.

I should add that I also feel guilty as DH lost his mum 10 years ago, she was 67 and had cancer, she was wonderful and it was so sad, it makes me feel so conflicted because I understand its not nice for him but I'm here trying to hold the family together after an awful few months and he just doesn't seem to care.

So sorry OP and to all those mums feeling unappreciated.

Sounds like your DH realises he's cocked up, tell him how exhausted and drained you feel atm.and you just needed a bit of appreciation and someone to cook you dinner, it's not a big ask tbh he should have organised more.
SM is bollocks, ignore it. Its all show and probably only tells half the story. Most mums I know don't get the huge fuss or often organise mothers day themselves. I made it clear I wanted a takeaway tonight, I ordered it and sent DH to collect it.
Teenage DC were either at work or lazing in bed, I got my mother's day cards at late afternoon.
I make it fairly clear I'd like some spring flowers( daffodils/ tulips ) and if we are out shopping and I see something I like I say to DH/ kids that I'd like that for mothers day/ birthday/ Christmas. I've learnt the hard way that if I have expectations for the day ( even low key ones) and give no implicit instructions or organise or book something myself I will almost certainly be disappointed. Having said that as DC get older its getting better as they organise a card or gift themselves or ask DH for money/ help.

I actually forgot it was mother's day. I've got 2 dcs not even received a card this year, OH has always been very unthoughtful as is my teen dd my other dc is only young. Birthdays are the same for me to and just come and go with very little acknowledgement. I don't do Fb so luckily don't see all the posts of other peoples fantastic days, I know it would sting so I avoid SM. I'm hoping the kids will make a bit of an effort when they're adults it would be nice to be spoilt for once!

I'm sorry you had a bad day. Same here. Only bought a card last night after I reminded him it's Mother's day today. I've not even got a cup of coffee. And yes, its painful when you see all the lovely posts and pictures of other women being dotted on by husbands/children. It's hurtful. Especially when I work full time and do most of the house chores, cooking, shopping etc. I've always got out of my way to make my husband feel special on Fathers day, even I booked and paid for lunch last year for his dad and partner. He just totally ignored me today . Felt I was taken for granted.

I don't even think most people want a huge fuss, just a card, a hug and a thank you is enough. The kids just don't get it at all, one of them said that they didn't even think we bothered celebrating it usually

DH didn't even come to bed last night, apparently he fell asleep watching a film. He is sulking as he hates it when he's in the wrong.

Same here. I'm so sorry you've had it too. I really hope they try to make it up to you.
I love the cards tops I got one from my younger children with names written in. My two adult girls, nothing. My partner picked up a gift of books and bath bombs, ironic when lately I can go days without a proper wash as have no time to myself.
I sorted dinner, I did several lots of washing up and did the washing, put it out and brought back in.
I spent hours giving lifts, only for the children to all then stay in their rooms.
Like you social media was the last straw for me.
Though I do have to say that one child did a post which meant the world to me.

I have a couple of friends who have social media feed full of the presents they got, the family meals and what a wonderful Mum they are from their offspring. Sadly every other day their families treat them like absolute shit and expect ridiculous amount of support and assistance with their constant drama. Not all you see is real life at all. Sadly in both cases my friends go along with it so no one really knows just what they really have to deal with on a daily basis.